- Date posted
- 2y
Discrimination against ocd in family
My MIL and inlaws pretty much ignores any and all safety warnings from my husband and myself since I (very mistakenly) told her I had OCD years ago. With our child this had reached scary proportions to the point where she brought a pound of peanuts to a visit when our pediatrician had thought he might have peanut allergies (i have peanut allergies in my family). She flipped out when my husband asked her to follow cdc guidelines during Covid and assumed they were my idea because of "ocd". I didn't even know the cdc guidelines nor recommend them. I was actually *avoiding* all things Covid related because of my OCD lol... so it was 100% my husband who researched them and asked her to follow them. Furthermore my husband often blames my OCD even when it's not related. For example, he was diagnosed with adhd and has explosive rage meltdowns when his meds aren't just right (he's currently on a good dose) but when I ran and hid from his meltdown (locked myself and our son in the bedroom to avoid him). He blamed my OCD for his meltdown even though he actually had his meltdown because I told him his work schedule was too crazy (nothing to do with ocd). In the early days after our son was born my husband started having frequent meltdowns. He even yelled at me in the hospital because he couldn't sleep. When I tried to tell my therapist at the time she completely victim blamed me saying "you know OCD is really hard to deal with" basically that my ocd caused him to flip out. But here's the thing! I've managed OCD pretty well my whole life and it only started to get bad when my husband started having rage attacks and it's well established that stress in the family can aggravate OCD. Furthermore since my husband switched from Adderall to Ritalin he's had almost NO blow ups and since then my OCD symptoms have rapidly improved just because I'm way less anxious in general. I mean I think anyone with OCD would spiral if there partner was having random unpredictable meltdowns! The worst thing was he would get mad at me and shame ans humiliate me for having compulsions that had NO EFFECT on him like washing my hands or changing my clothes. He had zero compassion. He finally said that the best way for him to deal with it is just to tell himself I don't have OCD Because he told me that just the thought of me having OCD makes him angry? For a while he tried to tell me I DONT have OCD. I told him I definitely do put if it helps him to no ve angry with me then he should keep telling himself that. And strangely it seems to work! I would have thought the other way around like that if he didn't know I had ocd he'd be angrier because why thehell are you washing your hands so much right? But no. Him and his family have so much stigma against mental health issues that he's way less angry at me if he just tells himself I don't have OCD. As for adhd his mom told him it's bullshit but luckily he's not listening to her on that. So yes the stigma is real! Be careful who you tell!