I just feel so alone

I’ve been posting things on Reddit describing how I feel and I always delete it because no one replies. I have no one who I can be honest with in real life, and they never ask if I’m okay or ask if I want to talk, and even though posting online causes my ocd to go crazy I still do it for some reason. I don’t even know what this post is, I just need to feel like there’s someone out there who acknowledges that I exist and that I’m in pain Currently in a moral scrupulosity flare up

juliala

Date posted: 2y

well you do exist and people care, i care! this all makes me feel less alone but it's also really sad hearing everyones thoughts and i can have empathy stay strong, and you're not alone!

climbingroses

Date posted: 2y

@juliala Thank you ❤️ even just the briefest human interaction makes me feel more real

Peacemaker

Date posted: 2y

Moral scrupulously is one of the things i feel I’ve been experiencing heavily lately. Truthfully it’s surprising I’m able to put one foot in front of the other most of the time. However that seems to be exactly what you’re doing too, I’m sorry no one has been answering regardless though you keep reaching out in some way so good job putting that foot in front of the other🤝🏼 I’m very new here & I don’t really know what’s going on tbh but from it seems like is we aren’t alone I’m here, you’re here, & I bet there’s a plethora of others dealing with the same thing finding it hard to speak about anything there going through but like us want that help even if it’s just to say you aren’t alone.

climbingroses

Date posted: 2y

@Peacemaker Moral scrupulosity is truly horrible. I just have so much guilt and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let go of it. I just have to keep reminding myself that there isn’t a single person on earth who has never made a mistake or made the wrong decision.

Peacemaker

Date posted: 2y

@climbingroses I won’t argue that one bit lol. In my own sense I can relate but I personally want to reach that world where I’m able to be rid of all my guilt & shame. I’m too stubborn to not see it😼 but yes everyone does make mistakes & with that being said, it’s hard to not think you’re the worst of the worst (at least for me) truth is I don’t believe we are Can I ask what kind of things you’ve done to help with your moral scrupulosity?

climbingroses

Date posted: 2y

@Peacemaker You’re right, I want to reach that world too, more than anything. Maybe one day when I can afford ERP. I shouldn’t be so pessimistic. The only way I get through life with my moral scrupulosity at the moment is just swallowing the pain, accepting it and letting it in, and just telling myself ‘okay, so I’m a bad person. I’m a bad person but I’m still going to go and buy groceries because I need them.’ and then I move on with my day. It’s really hard though, and I’m constantly swallowing pain at the moment. It’s better than ruminating all the time which is truly hell on earth and makes me want to☠️ (don’t want to write the word)

Peacemaker

Date posted: 2y

@climbingroses Having that desire is the first to everything. Being pessimistic in life is one of those things where idk how to feel about it Me personally im a very optimistic person so obviously my mindset doesn’t line up with pessimism however it’s a mindset, it’s someone’s way of life sometimes. I can’t yuck someones yum like that. & depending on life circumstances it’s hard not to be pessimistic so there’s always validity to it but trying to find that light & recognize that the grass is always greener once you get to the other side of the storm is important. I can relate to letting it in a sense. Rn it feels like I need to hold everything until this time I properly heal from everything. but it feels like it’s breaking me & I really am losing my sense of identity. I’m proud of you that you keep moving🤝🏼 Ruminating & wallowing truly is such an awful state🥲

Mike1975

Date posted: 2y

The worst thing is to have no one to talk to. I quit Reddit because of it, and this site can be tough. I've been on several groups on Facebook but the posts take forever to be approved and then no one talks to you. I honestly think talking with someone is like 30-40% of feeling better.

climbingroses

Date posted: 2y

@Mike1975 Reddit sucks. I’m going to delete it. I pour my heart out and then no one even bothers to reply after hours. It also gives me so much anxiety imagining that people are judging me by my posts. I think this app is much better, it feels like people here actually care and want to talk Sending you strength and hope ❤️❤️❤️

blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

You aren’t alone, I promise! I hear you and your feelings are so valid. Even though it’s really difficult at the moment, it won’t last forever. It’ll pass and you’ll be okay 🩷

jsford04

Date posted: 19w

so overwhelmingly sad and need someone to talk to

My OCD has become so bad and I feel so alone. I have religious OCD (Christianity) and I’ve been doing okay with letting the blasphemous thoughts go in the moment, but I’m so overcome with guilt and shame I can barely function. I can feel okay and hopeful for a few minutes and then I’m reminded of the horrible thoughts and how nothing can take them back and I can’t handle the guilt. I’m becoming a burden to my family and feel so alone. I do not know what to do. Please help.

flowerpetals

Date posted: 14w

word vomit

i’ve just been feeling so off lately. i’m okay right now, but a couple hours ago i was in this mood where i felt anxiety creeping up. like i will feel like there’s danger when there isn’t. i just get this really uncomfortable feeling that something feels wrong even when it isn’t. and i’ve been feeling derealization/depersonalization. just really disconnected from myself and the world. i’ve also been unmotivated to where there are times when the thought of doing things upsets me. and i’ve been having existential thoughts that do not mesh well with harm ocd. i get the thought “if people aren’t real then it’s okay to hurt them”. it sucks because there are times where i just don’t even care to ruminate and find reassurance that that’s not the case. furthermore, i’ve just been really aware of my existence. i will get moments where i’m so aware of my existence and it freaks me out. like the fact that i’m a living human being is crazy to me. then there are times when i’m not even anxious about anything which then has me questioning and ruminating on that because i ALWAYS have something i’m worrying about. i’ve also been feeling really nostalgic and bittersweet of the good memories from the past. i keep thinking about good times i’ve had and really wishing i could relive it. for example, last summer was a pretty good summer even with my ocd. and i just wish i could relive some of those moments, but i obviously can’t. and it’s been upsetting me because this month has been shitty with my anxiety. as for an update with my room change to those of you curious, i still have anxiety over it and my mom is taking it as me being ungrateful with what i have when it’s my ocd making a huge deal of it. that upsets me especially since i’ve told her what’s been going on and she was really understanding of it. anyways, life has just been a bit much and i’ve been dealing with more to my anxiety that i don’t appreciate. while worrying about constantly throwing up with my contamination ocd is incredibly exhausting, it’s so normal to me that i’m used to it. but when my harm ocd kicks in along with other themes that aren’t usually common for me, i freak out and feel like i’m going insane. i genuinely wonder how people have dealt with taboo topics of ocd without treatment for years on end. i’ve had harm intrusive thoughts since i was little, but it didn’t get to any extreme until 2023. i feel like i’m drowning in it when it decides to hit me and the thought of having to deal with it for the rest of my life?? i’m scared something in me will flip and i’ll become what my thoughts are telling me i am. i apologize for the mixed thoughts that are all over the place but i feel safe posting on here about it and want to hear how y’all are doing

ocdrecovery198

Date posted: 11w

Feeling alone with OCD

Sometimes I feel like nobody really gets me. Nobody knows what’s going on in my head. I try to explain in vivid detail, but my ocd immediately reads the other persons face and registers that they don’t get it. It’s a very isolating experience. Anyone else have something like this?

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I just feel so alone

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