does anyone else experience extreme guilt over hurting bugs? there was a bit on my windshield today and i knew it wasn’t hurting me but i went to wipe it off anyways. i don’t know why i did that but i feel extremely bad
I feel bad as well, I try to catch and release bugs from my house but then there are these small black ants that I can’t stand and I question my morals like I like protecting everything else but I don’t like protecting ants? It doesn’t make sense.
I feel like a hypocrite. I am an ethical vegan. Have been for many years. I protect all animals, even rats,.... But due to my ocd, I can't stand small flies, mosquitos or other flying tiny bugs, so I react. I protect spiders,... anything that doesn't fly. I am scared that the flying ones would contaminate my food... Especially in the kitchen I freak out. I don't mind them in the living room or bedroom. It rarely happens. But when it does and if it is in the kitchen, my anxiety flairs up, I start to feel dirty even if I am sure that they didn't touch me. I just don't feel ok until I know they are either gone out of the windows or... I feel soooo terrible after. I try not to kill or harm any of them But from time to time my bad ocd-driven me, goes against all I stand for.
Sometimes, though there are just some bugs I can’t catch and release so I end up flushing them.
I completely understand. I thought I killed a spider one time, and I was afraid that it would come and retaliate when I was asleep lol. I don’t like hurting bugs, and I feel so bad, but that shows that we are empathetic people
Yeah. 🙏👍😊
Exactly. I also catch and release bugs. Even flies. Even the little flies. I try to direct flies and mosquitoes out of the room. But then, sometimes it just feels overwhelming and I turn into Mr. Hyde. I always feel bad. My typical reaction is, I say to myself out loud, " Some vegan you are!". I also don't like ants in my home, and I am lucky I almost never see them inside. I would though try to direct them onto a sheet of paper and take them out. I love watching them outside. They are so hardworking and incredibly organized. Like another world within this one. How can we protect some living creatures and without a thought kill others?! I try my best not to do harm even to those annoying bugs. I know they are also just trying to survive. If my bad side sometimes gets the better of me, I hope I can forgive myself. I am my own worst judge.
Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.
my cat was smelling my other cat's bottom so to get him away i like quick "slapped" with the dorsal of the hand on his face and i got afraid that i did too hard so i compulsively did it again with similar strenght that i used to check if he was hurt and i regret it, like it wasn't a hard slap meant to hurt, but i did that impulsively and maybe i exceeded a bit over the limit in which it doesn't hurt. like he definetely reacted but i don't know if he was hurt, like he reacted in the moment but nothiny else, and he's lovey dovey. i dont think he was hurt but i feel bad. because if i did it once as a mistake i shouldn't have done the same thing again. i feel like an abuser. there are many things that are happening to me and im getting overwhelmed and i dont know how much longer i can hold on. because one thing i can't do is to forgive myself over mistakes.
I don’t know why but today I feel so incredibly angry right now and I was so frustrated with everything including my two dogs. I didn’t hurt them or hit them or anything but I was particularly annoyed and angry when they were trying to get presumably a bunny or a raccoon from underneath the shed, so I had to pull my small dog away when he wouldn’t budge away from the shed and i couldn’t pick him up because I was not close enough. I feel bad because I know I love my dogs but oh my god I just get so annoyed with them and on top of them everything else I have to just shut down all day and the things I don’t understand. I feel like I’m going insane. I don’t want my dogs to think I don’t love them because i was angry and annoyed at them. I know they’re just animals and they love me and I love them. I want them to know I’m sorry for even getting mad. I wish I didn’t feel so angry and yet so disconnected at the same time. I’m terrified I’m an evil person or that I don’t love my pets or something. I started to hit myself and punch myself because I do that when I get over the edge angry. I don’t know why I feel angry. It’s a mix of anger and emptiness and I don’t want either of them especially towards my dogs.
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