bugs

I feel bad as well, I try to catch and release bugs from my house but then there are these small black ants that I can’t stand and I question my morals like I like protecting everything else but I don’t like protecting ants? It doesn’t make sense.

I feel like a hypocrite. I am an ethical vegan. Have been for many years. I protect all animals, even rats,.... But due to my ocd, I can't stand small flies, mosquitos or other flying tiny bugs, so I react. I protect spiders,... anything that doesn't fly. I am scared that the flying ones would contaminate my food... Especially in the kitchen I freak out. I don't mind them in the living room or bedroom. It rarely happens. But when it does and if it is in the kitchen, my anxiety flairs up, I start to feel dirty even if I am sure that they didn't touch me. I just don't feel ok until I know they are either gone out of the windows or... I feel soooo terrible after. I try not to kill or harm any of them But from time to time my bad ocd-driven me, goes against all I stand for.

Sometimes, though there are just some bugs I can’t catch and release so I end up flushing them.

I completely understand. I thought I killed a spider one time, and I was afraid that it would come and retaliate when I was asleep lol. I don’t like hurting bugs, and I feel so bad, but that shows that we are empathetic people

Exactly. I also catch and release bugs. Even flies. Even the little flies. I try to direct flies and mosquitoes out of the room. But then, sometimes it just feels overwhelming and I turn into Mr. Hyde. I always feel bad. My typical reaction is, I say to myself out loud, " Some vegan you are!". I also don't like ants in my home, and I am lucky I almost never see them inside. I would though try to direct them onto a sheet of paper and take them out. I love watching them outside. They are so hardworking and incredibly organized. Like another world within this one. How can we protect some living creatures and without a thought kill others?! I try my best not to do harm even to those annoying bugs. I know they are also just trying to survive. If my bad side sometimes gets the better of me, I hope I can forgive myself. I am my own worst judge.