- Date posted
- 2y
Friends
Every single time i say something or do something with friends I think I fucked up or i said something awkward or weird, literally every time. How do i get past this feeling?
Every single time i say something or do something with friends I think I fucked up or i said something awkward or weird, literally every time. How do i get past this feeling?
I have this mate I feel I’ve done something bad and they’re off with me now. I think the answer to everything as annoying as it is maybe maybe not
Please update if you find out :)
This may be due to mind reading cognitive distortion / negative thinking styles -cbt can help if that’s what it is -cbt helped me with thinking certain people dislike me
Erin, I am in a mess. Could I tell you what happened yesterday and could you tell me how you see the situation. I need to react, but I don't trust myself to make the right, objective decision. If you are overwhelmed by your ocd, please, just tell me and I will give you space and peace. I appreciate your opinions and you already know my so far situation with my psychiatrist and psychologist and I really don't want to write it all again for others to understand. Just the yesterday's thing keeps me ruminating. I haven't slept wink. Again. Already for 2 days in a row. I have been up over 60hours. Sincd this surely affects one's thinking, reactions,... I am scared to take any action before someone not involved tells me what action actually makes sence. What they would do. I will totally understand if you don't wish to do this. You just tell me. If you are willing, maybe I should start a new post, so that we don't take over bouncydog's territory. I hope you are doing well. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 😇🫂
@NODA Stop seeing your therapist. Use blogs, books, YouTube, and other resources for your ocd. Read Shala Nicely’s blogs in self compassion, breathe, try mindfulness. Post a blog here on your specific fears that are keeping you up today so you can get a variety of advice.
@Erin P 🙏♥️
@NODA 🫶🫂
You can't read other people's minds (wow, that would be great and frightening at the same time), but by observing their facial expressions, the look in their eyes, their posture, their behavior one can get quite accurate information. I've been dealing with this for over 30 years. The sad part is, that my intuition was right in 98 % of the times. I am so lucky,hmmm. I am a magnet for superficial, egotistical, judgemental, bossy, materialistical, narcissistic people. I guess they find me too weak, too boring, too unimportant. I always see the look on their eyes telling me they think of me that I am weird. As if there was something wrong with me. If I keep in touch with these kind of people, I end up crushed to pieces. They walk all over me. Every single time. And my therapist thinks, that because I am a bit mistrustful towards people, I am weird and hidden agressive and psychotic. If I keep seeing her, I will end up locked up in a solitary room in some middle ages like mental institution. Everything I say, she makes it into drama, into all or nothing. At the moment I am scared of her. No help at all, pretending to be a friend, judgmental as hell. I never get the feeling of someone disliking me with kids and teenagers and elderly people. Just those in between. Those that are closer to my age and affect me most. For you it might be different. You are with your friends. They wouldn't be with you if your thoughts were right. You have friends. Nice. Try Erin's advice. I will too. But I can only use it if it is possible to do it by yourself, because I am left with no help at all. I hope you have a therapist who will look into it and help you get your self esteem back. Best wishes.
the past month ive been ruminating about a time last year where i hurt a friend by unintentionally bringing up a traumatic memory when i was really drunk, enough that i didnt remember it, so i went 6 months without apologizing until i was worried when they werent talking to me anymore. so they told me when i finally tried to talk to them. i apologized and they told me we were ok now, and still want me in their life, but now they stopped talking to me again and its been 3 weeks, and im terrified that i did something again, especially since they stopped talking to me when i made a mistake before, and wont tell me outright. the event triggered horrible horrible guilt over what i did, mostly guilt About the guilt i was feeling, because its not a normal amount of guilt for a regular person, and eventually my compulsions for confessing and ruminating reached a high point. and when they stopped talking to me again they got even worse . they are aware i suffer from ocd and anxiety to an extent (we've been friends since we were teenagers) so its hard for me to believe they wouldn't do this unless i did something wrong again, especially due to the events of my past mistake. lately ive been wondering, 'have they found out my abnormal reaction to what happened ?' 'did a friend who knows about it tell them?' ive been avoiding asking them if i did something wrong again, because i dont want to make it a habit since i can fall very deeply into that hole of asking for reassurance and i feel even regular reassurance, without the ocd, im the last person who deserves that right now. im scared they somehow found out about my compulsions (which isnt entirely irrational) and i feel the need to apologize to them again. ive been having panic attacks about this. i feel like no matter what i do i cant fix our friendship, and its going to end badly. i feel like a terrible friend, and im too mentally ill to have friendships. i don't know what to do.
My OCD is playing whack a mole but I can’t even tell if it’s OCD anymore or if I’m just a horrible person. I made a joke when my friend mentioned a video game and I replied “gooner game” and then went “just kidding” (me and one of my friends in that group typically joke like this) My other friend said “eww” and started laughing, and even if the vibes were lighthearted I now I feel like I’m a weird creep. I’m worried I should have kept my mouth shut bc the other friend is younger than me (they’re not a minor). And even then, I feel like I still majorly overstepped and feel gross. Esp because im the oldest of the group and I should be leading by example. I’m so grossed out at myself for saying such an awful thing. I’m spiraling yet again. Ugh
Was getting food with someone, I got excited to eat it, but as I was talking, spit flew out my mouth and it looked like it got into the food. I really wanted to say something but the awkwardness and anxiety took over and I couldn't pick what to do and they had eaten the food This isn't someone that's happened for the first time, I've had this happen when someone passed by my in a tight space and my mind told me if I didn't move my arm in it would be a huge mistake I'd regret so I did the opposite and I thought what could go so badly, and it turned out to be really bad because the person's rear touched my elbow. I feel awful about this but at the same time I'm getting thoughts that say it isn't so bad. Thoughts trying to rationalize, but I hate when this happens to me.
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