Feels like I am accepting the thoughts when I don't have a panicked response. It's like I feel like I want the thought even though I never would because of lack of anxciety. Assuming this is part of ocd?
Been through that stage I get groinal response with no anxiety or feeling distress about it anymore, I feel your pain
@tuchi Yeah it's so weird
Yes. It's often due to habituation which means you're improving. NOCD has a good article on "backdoor spikes" which talks about when you stop feeling anxious when you have intrusive thoughts/feelings/sensations. Sometimes the lack of response makes us anxious but it sounds like you're kind of accepting it for what it is, which is great!
@ReadyForImprovement Mines been messing with me, was in the mood to have sx, I was trying not to because I didn't want a g*y person images will pop up and it would mess me up like last time theirs this particular image of the guy that always pops up when I'm about to have do something or about c*m and I always mess things up the worst part of it is that it feels like real deal or way best than the real deal, call me crazy but that's how it feels, I was afraid that it would feel so good as last time, when I was trying to resist the image pop up and I got something down there a little something tho and I felt confused was it because I thought about how it happened last time and it got me erected? Honestly I know this sounds crazy but l'm confused about it or was it because my pants with too tight. I didn't feel anxious about it or disgusted, was just confused and tried to reply that moment to see if it would happen again to know if I'm really into that but I didn't happen again, this happens this afternoon and I have been trying to figure out what happened
@tuchi šÆ
@ReadyForImprovement Thank you!
but when there's no anxiety that mean you don't have the urge to do that it's just thought .........I'll tel to my self if I don't have anxiety that mean I become stronger then the thought
Suddenly I started ruminating again but I no longer get bad anxiety over the thoughts but it feels like the āurgesā are still there and itās making it seem more real that these are true. Why am I having urges without the anxiety or itās weird like i donāt even know when im anxious maybe i got use to the feeling of being anxious but it feels too real and I get these weird thought that are like āimagine you was evil anywaysā or āimagine you want to be but your in denialā or the worst makes it feel like you would like acting on the thoughts even if you choose not to do it and it feels really real. The thoughts are about stabbing and it felt so real and I started imaging it on purpose to ātestā myself but it doesnāt ever feel like I hate it enough or donāt want it like I feel numb to everything and it feels really real like I want it or do want to do it but Iām just choosing not to and itās scary but I use to get so much anxiety over this and now nothing now it feels like I donāt even feel like I āhateā it or I should know that I donāt want to do that? Instead of sitting there experimenting with the thoughts to see. I want it to feel like I donāt want it and donāt like it I constantly feel like Iām lying about not wanting this, but itās concerning me a lot because it feels so real that I like it or want it and there was one point where it felt like it was about to happen and that I wanted it and now thatās made me think there is something wrong with me or that I want to give in to it š please I donāt belive anything I donāt even belive I am sad it feels so real that it was about to happen or I wanted it and I donāt know what to do I was fine before and suddenly I started ruminating and now this
So, yesterday while I was laying in bed, I was relaxing when suddenly I had an intrusive thought about someone, but the thing is that it brought me a sense of enjoyment or calmness for a few seconds before it went away. Once it did, it was only until hours later when I realized what had happened and I began to freak out because I'm reading everywhere that when someone experiences this type of thing, the anxiety happens shortly after the enjoyment or "false" enjoyment. Can OCD do this?
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insaneš¢
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