I’m gonna obsess about every organ in my body

At this rate I’m still struggling to accept serious or terminal illnesses. Been my main theme for over a year now. I just can’t get over it 😞 I’ve had themes about head, neck, colon, lung cancer, a brain eating amoeba, heart attack, and now dementia smh I wish I could say there’s a limit to this but with all of the thousands of illnesses out there it isn’t limitless. How has someone managed health concern???

Redextrem

Date posted: 2y

Health concern OCD is a nightmare, I had all of those themes as well, even the brain eating amoeba. I was convinced that I have diabetes for the last few months but I resisted the urge to go to the doctor and now I realise how ridiculous that was (literally I'm in the group of people the least likely to have diabetes statistically), you need to resist reassurance no matter how hard it is and you will see a progression sooner or later. Always keep in mind that getting rid of these debilitating Health concerns and the compulsions that come with it is worth the risk of actually getting an illness, this helped me the most.

Recoverer

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Redextrem I’ve done well with not googling and not calling my doctor over every little thing lately, but it’s the rumination and the “*gasp*” moment when I get an intrusive thought from reaching an article about a certain disease or someone catching that same disease. The rumination and comparison is what drives me insane. Can you elaborate further when you say “worth the risk of actually getting an illness”?

Redextrem

Date posted: 2y

@Recoverer When I hit rock bottom my OCD was so bad that every second of the the I was trapped in compulsive behaviour, this was more debilitating than actually having a severe physical illness so I said to my self that taking the risk of having cancer, diabetes, MS or any other live threatening disease is worth taking if it means that I at least can get rid of the compulsions because with chronic OCD you are not dying, you are already dead. I don't think that you have to hit rock bottom first, but you have to imagine living with severe OCD for the rest of your life and I'm sure that scenario is worse for you than most actual illnesses. OCD tried to convince me to have dozens of life threatening diseases over the years but none of them became true so whenever an intrusive thought hits I say to myself "I don't care, I died a hundred times already".

SensibleMari

Date posted: 2y

Omg yes I have health concerns as well, specially themes related to the heart, so much so, that right now I'm struggling with a thigh chest feeling because I'm so scared of suffering from it that I actually suffer through the stress. I hear you, it sucks 😞 eventually I just get engaged with life and work and forget about it, even though sometimes it comes back

Recoverer

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@SensibleMari I feel like the only way to truly sit with all of what your thoughts (and body since sensations can form from anxiety) is to accept that everyone dies at some point but I have a hard time doing that

SensibleMari

Date posted: 2y

@Recoverer Same, I'm actually scared of death, that's why these themes are so present within our minds. It's anxiety which gets fueled by the fear. If only we didn't care about death and dying, we wouldn't care much about these thoughts...

Recoverer

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@SensibleMari I feel that. Obviously as you get older I think it gets easier to accept but at my young age with so much I want to achieve still, it’s scary now

SensibleMari

Date posted: 2y

@Recoverer Exactly. Right now at 28 it's a mix between feeling way too young to die, but also life happens and you never know. It's always the fear of the unknown and the loss of what we know. I just tend to avoid these thoughts. I think that when I'm old enough and closer to the end, I'll think about it. I just postpone it to that point in time

Anonymous

Date posted: 25w

Has anyone’s obsessive thoughts changed themes?

I went from intrusive thoughts of hurting people, thinking I did horrible things and not remembering it like running people over with my car etc, to my brain trying to convince me I that I had split personality disorder to now health anxiety. The intrusive thoughts weren’t as bad as this. I’ll get physical symptoms like my heart racing, chest pain, can’t swallow. It’s been causing panic attacks but I’m constantly scared I’m dying. If my mole looks like it changed I freak out and think I have cancer. I had to get a stethoscope to listen to my heartbeat to make sure I don’t have an aortic aneurysm to buying a Fitbit to constantly check my pulse. I went to the ER bc I thought I was dying and now I’m paying a 2 thousand dollar bill when they say my heart is fine. It’s just exhausting.

This is me!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17w

Aging and death anxiety

I’ve been perturbed for a couple of months now with incessant thoughts about aging and dying. I really am not sure what to do. This feels like other OCD themes, but also really different, because this time, what I’m afraid of is sure to happen. I will either die, or age and then die. It’s been so difficult to enjoy anything lately. I just want to pull a blanket over my head and wait until death comes. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel quite alone. I am trying to enjoy life, but I just remember that it will all be gone in a flash. Nothing really seems to help me feel better. The only escape I have is in my dreams where I can fantasize about never aging or dying. Or at least being able to rewind the clock to have more time.

Cooki_brooki23

Date posted: 16w

Health ocd obsessed over heart/lung related issues

I have gotten maybe about 8 EKG’s within the lest 2 years? I’ve also gotten an echo done, and I got a heart monitor to track my heart over the course of maybe 2 weeks, back last year. Even though I have been to the emergency room so many times because of panic attacks that I thought were heart attacks, and went with a Cardiologist I still obsess and worry. I always think that I am going to develop some kind of heart problem after getting the tests done. Like if they’re just suddenly going to appear/my heart will suddenly have an issue. I especially get nervous when the pain is in the center of my chest + I get a tight feeling like I have pressure on my chest and can’t breathe completely. Please someone share their experience of how they controlled their health anxiety, especially if it’s related to this.

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I’m gonna obsess about every organ in my body

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