NODA

Date posted: 2y

What is wrong with me?

It's the third night in a row that I am not getting any sleep whatsoever. Not a wink. It's 2:40h a.m here. I just can't get myself to bed. I feel I need to do, read, look up so many things. I am exhausted, but I can't make my self get up off of the couch and go to bed. I am being irresponsible towards my every day duties. I feel numb inside. I am anxious for many reasons. Guided relaxing or mindfulness videos on yt only make me nervous. Is it because of the meds? I am on Zoloft. I have had insomnia for over 3 months. But when I went from 100 to 200 mg I actually got a few hours of sleep in a night. Now after around 10 days I am 100% awake 24h/day, every day. I don't get it. I have a fear if I go to sleep I will be missing on precious awake time. What is wrong with me? Any suggestions what to do? I am like a zombie. Anyone out there who's been through this?

OCDMM

Date posted: 2y

I’ve tried cherry juice, L-theanine and a podcast called Sleep with Me, none are miracle cures but do help. Agreed with the comment above, you have to quit the screen time. If you’re able, for me, sometimes sleeping on the couch vs my bed helps me falls asleep

hopefulvegan

Date posted: 2y

And changing your sleep position or turning around and sleeping the opposite way(putting your head where your feet normally go).

NODA

Date posted: 2y

Hello. Thank you. My problem is getting myself from my couch to my bed. I am not manic, I just don't go to bed. When I manage to stop everything, turn everything off, I fall asleep for 2 to 3 hours. Ever since on "Zoloft", I can't make it through the night without waking up. I will be a good girl now and I will obey. I am getting ready to get my butt off of the couch, go to the bathroom and to my bed. Thank you both! 🙏🥰

NODA

Date posted: 2y

@hopefulvegan Will try. 😊

NODA

Date posted: 2y

I will look into the podcast later. 👍Thank you. Good night. 😊

hopefulvegan

Date posted: 2y

I struggle with this sometimes, too. As hard as it is, you need to either put your phone on silent, turn off your notifications or only focus on productive things on your phone(such as volunteer work or socialising with close friends), or doing yoga or reading a book. And research sleep hygiene: https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/sleep-hygiene

NODA

Date posted: 2y

Oh my god. I have been an ethical vegan for 7 years now. Before I was vegetarian. My husband is a vegetarian. I am so happy to see another vegan here. I am not happy that you suffer from ocd. I am happy you are here. I need to tell you sth. 2 days ago was I year since I managed to get out of my self imposed ocd prison. Ocd was so strong, that in 2 years I only left my ex home 2x. To make it worse, I have emotional thought contamination ocd. I get the feeling g of being dirty just by seeing the name of a person that is my ocd trigger written somewhere. Just the first name. It can even be a totally different surname. I can't watch a film they like or an actor they adore or a musician. So for a few years internet, socal media, Youtube,... everything was a big No No for me. It used to be so. Then I managed to move to a different city, found vegan friendly version of Zoloft and life got easier. But since the occurrence of insomnia, I get the feeling I need to sort of make up for all the missing time when I had no life and could not read internet. I do not have any social media. I am only active here at NOCD. But I love reading about veganism, art, literature, authors, painters, musicians, I love listening to my kind of music,...There is so much I wish to read about, learn,... I don't have any real friends. Just my husband. But I do volunteer work every chance I get. Especially for the animal protection organization. I am scared that one day ocd might put me back in my self imposed prison and I will be cut off from the world again. But I completely see that you are right. I always have my phone on silent. All I need to do, is put my phone down, out of my site. Thank you for the link. I will definitely check it out after I get some sleep and can focus better. Can you tell me more about your story with being vegan. And a vegan with ocd. I think I am the one of only 2 vegans in this town. How do I know there is another one? They often "steal" my favourite vegan products from the stores I go to. 🤣😄. Thank you again for answering. And I just love your profile name. THANK YOU FOR BEING VEGAN!!!!

hopefulvegan

Date posted: 2y

@NODA Awww! Thank you for your lovely reply!! Vegan zoloft? How'd they do that? I thought all medication was tested on animals? I am vegan but I still take my medication, as I need it to function. Unfortunately, there is not a vegan version of medication(except for maybe the zoloft you mentioned?) I became vegan about a decade ago when I learned how badly the animals were treated and how bad meat, eggs and dairy were for the environment. Thank you for the compliment! I like to spread the message of veganism to as many people as possible. It's also important we get enough protein and vitamins while helping out the animals.

SensibleMari

Date posted: 2y

I just read some lines because it's 2:32 am over here and I should be sleeping but I'm feeling stressed out, so I just wanna share that's you're not alone and I'm also a vegan ☺️

NODA

Date posted: 2y

Wow. Great. I actually feel happy I can't get myself to sleep. Thanks to hopefulvegan's reply, I have met ti vegans here within a few minutes. Thank you for answering. I am happy you wrote. I am sad that you can't sleep either. We must be close by. On the same continent, maybe. Are you from England/UK, maybe? You are only an hour behind me. I would also love to read about your vegan story and your fight with ocd. For now, I promise I will read and answer later today. Now I am going to somehow go to visit my bed for at least 6 hours. 😊. Please try as well. I will give Paul McKenna a chance to lead me into sleep. I might get nervous, but if someone can make it work for me, it's his voice. Till later. Thank you as well for being vegan. 🤣🫂😻

SensibleMari

Date posted: 2y

@NODA You're so precious Noda, now I want to read this thread word for word ahah. I'm actually in Portugal, are you in the UK? Thought about the same, we're definitely close. I'll keep it short. I've had multiple themes, if that's the word, and whenever I feel more aggravated I hang out a little bit on this app. Luckily I haven't spend much time around here lately but whenever I visit I feel better. Right now I'm having a thigh chest feeling because I'm afraid that certain thoughts could harm my heart, they just do anyway, but I know that eventually I'll just forget about these whenever I engage more with life, it just happens, I try not to force it even if it takes a while. I've been vegan for some years now. Best decision ever. I'm mostly vegan for environmental reasons, and it's suits me well because I've always been a picky eater, now I'm such a good fork! I actually feel like I'm doing the best for me and the planet. I'm not perfect tho. I buy second hand leather products, since I only thrift my clothes, and if my mom makes some cookies or cake I'll eat it. But that's where I draw the line. Maybe I'm not "vegan" after all, and I've considered not labelling myself, but still, it's definitely a cause very dear to my heart, and I'm on it 98% of the time. Thank you for being vegan too🙏 hope you get some rest, it feels like we'll be sleeping the same amount of hours more or less. I'll come back tomorrow to read the exact same things you asked me, about you 😊

OCDMM

Date posted: 2y

@SensibleMari Wow, I’m vegan as well! Very rare to come across so many! But same, I don’t always use the label because I do eat honey and once in a while something my husband makes with eggs

TheTortoise

Date posted: 2y

4:48 am here, haven’t slept, I stay up till around 6 every night because I won’t let myself sleep and it’s also made me feel numb I just made a post about how I feel like a zombie rn too!!! I’m not sure what u can do, I got prescribed melatonin but it gives me bad dreams so I don’t take it, but maybe a relaxing activity before bed might help you, drawing reading painting, journaling, crocheting origami ect

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 24w

sleep deprived and drained

I have barely slept in three days, maybe two hours a night. I feel so overwhelmed and uncomfortable right now. I cannot, for the life of me, stop confessing. I feel absolutely unforgivable, like no matter what it is, I am irredeemable. These waves of guilt and dread keep hitting me so hard. Every time I sleep, all I do is dream-ruminate. I analyze every tiny detail of whatever I am obsessing over, even in my sleep. It almost feels easier to stay awake, not that I have been able to do anything else. I feel so drained. I am scared to sleep. I hate my brain. I feel so anxious.

Megcurry

Date posted: 20w

Starting new anxiety meds

Hi everyone, I’m 23 and have been on Zoloft since I was 16. For the past couple months I’ve been having panic attacks more and I’m sick of feeling like a zombie everyday. My boyfriend said I’m very sad and unhappy then when I first met him 2 years ago…. He thinks it’s the medicine. Throughout the years I have upped and lowered my medication, but now, I feel as though it’s not helping. Either it was too much where I didn’t feel emotions at all like very scary stuff or it wasn’t enough to help me. I was given 5mg of Lexapro to try…. I’m scared to take it. All I know is how Zoloft is. I don’t want to go crazy on it, be allergic to it, etc. I feel like I’m going to trip myself out when I take it and not actually feel the difference. I could really use some positive feedback I really just want to be a normal human😭

Health Concern OCD

baukje

Date posted: 12w

Obsessing about… medication

I am having an appointment with my psychiatrist this afternoon and I am obsessing about what to do with my medication. I think it’s also very ocd like obsessing. I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine. Ive been on this for years (because of insomnia, anxiety and depression) (15mg) and after we tried to switch to another (amitryptiline) because of nerve pain, I went down the road of insomnia and later on ocd again. So I am back on mirtazapine, and weaning off of the amitryptiline. This is/was a very traumatic experience. Because the switch caused a mental breakdown. Now my psychiatrist has mentioned to up the mirtazapine to 45mg. And my obsessive self has done a lot of research and a lot is saying that the higher the dose, the more you can experience anxiety. And for ocd it’s obviously not the first choice. I am obsessing all morning about it. I am too scared to go up. But I am also too scared to try another and to wean myself of off mirtazapine. I feel stuck at this point. Taking two meds is also not something I want. I could really use some words of encouragement right now I think. 🥹

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