1:27am

I literally don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sitting barefoot in my backyard past midnight crying my eyes out. It’s to the point where my heart doesn’t even race fast from the anxiety, it’s just there, and it’s so heavy. Things would have been much easier if wasn’t born or if I was someone else. I don’t mean these thoughts. They just happen. But what if I do? What if I am a horrible person. Maybe there is no coming back from tonight. Maybe this is me forever.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Hugs!!!!!! This is a disease!!!!!! These thoughts are just thoughts!!!!!!! I know that it feels sooooo real but it’s not. It is your brain misfiring because you have a disease. The true peaceful, happy, content you is still there. You just can’t access it because your brain is stuck. I have been where you are. I have been to the edge and back. I promise you……life can be good again. Are you working with a therapist who specializes in OCD? Are you on medication? Remember…….a thought is just a thought. It’s not real. Your disease fools you into reacting to your thoughts over and over. You can get better. For me it was OCD morphing from disease to harm to SOOCD. I ran the gamut of OCD. And for me…..recovery is a combination of meds, spirituality, 2 self help books and now ERPT. You can feel good again!!!!

brokengirl

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous I just want it to be over

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

All of us have been at our lowest.I know there is nothing that I can *say* that will stop your irrational thoughts.But know that they ARE irrational.IF they were who you are you would not be horrified at them.

brokengirl

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous This is the worst it has ever gotten I just wish if I had a switch to turn it off for life. And thank you. I hope u r doing well.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

iamNoraM! This pain is momentary, I promise. I’ve been there. I promise it will not last. There is so much beauty in life that is waiting for you. Don’t give up on that. This is a disease no different than diabetes or epilepsy. It’s a medical condition that can be treated. Are you willing working with anyone? And if you are thinking of harming yourself…….go to the ER. They will help you just as they would if you had any other medical condition! It’s not you, it’s your disease. Once again…..do you have a therapist?

TerriNopeNot...

Date posted: 1y ago

I’ve felt this low before, too. Hugs and solidarity! This disease can make us feel so bad sometimes but these awful patches do fade. If you are thinking about harming yourself please go to a hospital. Sometimes we need that and there’s no shame in reaching out to protect yourself and your health. 💗

King silly

Date posted: 25w ago

I’m a bad person, I can’t pretend I’m not anymore

I don’t expect anyone to give me any reassurance that I’m a good person, because I doubt it heavily now. I don’t want to fight anymore, I can’t do it. I’m a bad person. I can’t see the light anymore I don’t think I can get better from this anymore, I think I’m gonna give up, I’m actually gonna give up, this is actually really bad that I did this, this is my proof I’m a bad person, I thought about it so I just can’t. basically I saw a a picture of 12 year old boy, and I kept testing how I felt, now I don’t know why I did this cause I know it’s wrong, meaning not good, but basically my brain was like “do you think he’s handsome” and I said “maybe I don’t know, I don’t think he’s handsome. He might be” and oh my god I can’t believe I said something like this, I know some will say “oh it might be intrusive” but I can’t anymore. I feel like I’m done. I don’t even know what kind of handsome I meant, all I know is that I was NOT trying to be disgusting in any shape or form but I can’t stand it, I can’t do this anymore

POCD

King silly

Date posted: 23w ago

I genuinely can’t do this anymore

I keep waking up, overwhelmed with anxiety and I feel like an awful person and I don’t know why…? But I feel like it’s because of POCD, I genuinely feel like a bad person because of all of my false attraction experiences, I feel like it’s my fault, I feel like an awful person and I’m spiraling, it’s so hard to look at myself in the mirror, i can’t bare it, I just feel so awful about myself and I don’t know what to do anymore. I genuinely can’t do this anymore.

POCD

ocdsufferer1234

Date posted: 21w ago

need help

I’m having a bad episode right now and I’m feeling so depressed and I’m crying like a baby because I’m thinking that if my mom knew the reasons I’m like this she would hate me and what would I ever do without my mom. I’m feeling so alone. I just need my mom but I know I can’t open up to her. Like even if I’m this horrible person my mom would despise me too? I can’t handle that someone please help.

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