I'm really struggling right now. I have turned a harmless situation into something extremely horrible, because my thoughts are remembering me doing something I know I didn't do, but it's like my thoughts are overpowering what I know is true. I feel horrible.
I too have false memory OCD
Can you explain how yours make you feel or what u experience?
Yep! Its the worse but its 100% lying
What all do you experience, if u don't mind me asking?
I too go through false memory
What do you experience?
@Miserable Worried I hurt someone when I was drunk. And then I try to find evidence and convince myself it happened.
Worried I said something bad about someone when I didnt
Do the both of y'all just worry or do y'all remember it happening?
@Miserable Mine was blackout drunk so I don’t remember anything but my brain likes to make me think I remember and then adds lovely details.
My mind turns something harmless into something extremely horrible. Like I'll know it's not true, but the more I try to remind myself it's not true by facts, it just gets worse because by that time my mind has created so many details and images that it feels like I remember it happening and that it is 100% true. This has had to be the hardest theme I have ever in my life dealt with.
@Miserable Omg. This explains exactly what I through to a T.
Idk what to believe anymore. I keep telling myself if I remember it had to have happened, but I've been through this a million times before and it's just been my mind playing tricks on me. I keep thinking what if it's true this time tho. It's so exhausting
@Miserable Mine too. And mine is 4 years old!!!
I use to have a bad problem seeking reassurance. It didn't matter what answer I got, I always thought the person was lying. It's so hard not to seek reassurance but it's gotten easier for me, especially when I can just brush a thought off. I feel undefeated when I just push the thought away.
@Miserable I have a hard time with this. Even when someone says I did nothing wrong, I don’t believe them.
Same!! Then they're like do you want me to say you did xyz. Then that makes me more anxious because then I will believe them when they say that, even though they are only agreeing because I didn't take their original answer the first time. I have been dealing with this for years and finally have medication that has been helping tremendously, but I missed one dose and everything has come back full force. I really hate feeling like this, and wish there were others to cope along with the meds.
My drinking had to stop. I drank bc it relieved my health obsessions, only for them to return 100xs worse. The problem now is the program I'm in requires me to have a higher power. Now I obsess over that. I start ERP therapy tomorrow. I'm determined to lead a happier life! Guilt is a huge player in OCD. It's weird how the intrusive thoughts know exactly the areas of importance to me.
Same!! It always circles around the things I love most!!
I did stop drinking for almost 2 years and recently reintroduced it and I already regret it because it makes everything worse.
I just saw a post on here that reminded me of something I did, or thought I did, nearly 12 years ago. I don’t know exactly when, but my OCD just latched onto it. I don’t even know if the memory is real. I’m freaking out. I was just a kid. Why am I feeling so guilty right now?
This situation just happened and I can definitely remember how it went but my brain is telling me otherwise and I know you guys said to sit with the uncertainty but what if the intrusive thought is so bad like disgusting, I can’t sit with that. Maybe it’s false memory but this just happened. I don’t even know how to live with this
So. I was in a traumatic relationship. for a long time. it was filled with gaslighting, manipulation, abuse, cheating ect. I would OBSESS over finding out where they were, what they were doing, who they were talking too. but I couldn’t leave. I tried so hard but I never could. they would call me names, physically hurt me, throw things, break things. because I would question them all the time. but I just couldn’t leave. no matter what I knew. they would manipulate me. I fell for their childhood trauma. it’s like I lost all logic. but I also feel like I have a pretty good memory with memories. not all the way, but remembering a lot of the traumatic things. especially now that I’m no longer with them. I keep remembering things that’s happened. even from my childhood. one time way before I even started dating this person, I had an intrusive thought about a friend of mine. that was with me. and I freaked out. I thought I had acted on the intrusive thought the next day. I asked my friend for confirmation but they said nothing happened. but the memories about it feel SO REAL. so VIVID. but they swore that nothing happened and they had no idea what I was talking about. I’ve struggled with intrusive thoughts for my whole life. so fast forward to now, that ‘false memory’ from my friend randomly popped up and I started obsessing about it, and my childhood ‘memories’ that have popped up. and then I was reading an article of someone doing something horrible, and then it sounded ‘familiar’ and so then I’ve created this whole memory of me doing something similar to the article involving my partner doing it also. the memory keeps adding new things and conversations around it. when it involves an actual real memory. but it’s like it’s been twisted from what I remembered before. I also suffer from bad anxiety. I’ve stalked pictures. my search history to figure out what I was doing that say when the real event happened. and I’ve found some things but I can’t look through my texts because I got a new phone. it has been hounding me for months. MONTHS. trying to figure out if this new ‘memory’ is real or not. if it’s been fabricated by an intrusive thought from reading the article and thinking ‘what if’ or if it actually happened and because I’m no longer in this relationship it’s a ‘repressed memory’ but the thing is I have horrible horrible anxiety and I don’t think I could have gone this long knowingly that that happened without remembering it until now. because I remember a lot of the horrible things that they did. this ‘memory’ is fuzzy, but it brings me horrible anxiety when I think of it, like I feel like it happened. but I also feel like it didn’t happen. because I know I would never do anything like that. but WHAT IF I DID, because I was manipulated. idk. is this a false memory. I really need help. because it’s been debilitating. that relationship was really traumatic. and I got manipulated into a lot of things. but I wouldn’t have just went forward knowing that that happened??? there’s no way I could have just forgotten it. because before when I would think about that night it was different, until now. but what if I just made myself forget what truly happened?? I’m a pretty self aware individual, but somehow that relationship really REALLY put me into a trance somehow where I allowed things that I have no idea how I would even allow because before I met that person I would have never allowed someone to cheat on my constantly or talk to me the way they did. or allow abuse. like I don’t understand it.
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