- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Same, I also feel like I've become more forgetful. My memory is no longer how it used to be. I have a harder time recalling names, faces, events... My mind feels trapped in this endless fog of doubt.
- Date posted
- 6y
Exactly. Its crazy like everything befroe hocd is a blur to me. I hate it because im so thankful for my past because i used to be so happy. The longer i have this the more it fades. Also now during hocd im forgetful. I miss my old me so much. The difference from me now and me before this is crazy. This truly feels endless. I miss attraction towards men so much. I wrote dozens of messages about my hocd on another group its hard to explain everything now on here but all i know is that this feels endless and like i lost my mind and myself and im 17 and i hate that i know im mssing out on all my teenage years. I just wish i was myself i cant live in the moment anymore. I feel like this also got me deprssed. Its truly living in fog and i want to think and see clear again.
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm dealing with the exact same thing. But I haven't told my parents , but they noticed my change in attitudes
- Date posted
- 6y
hey do you have an instagram? and wanna join a group chat?
- Date posted
- 6y
Currently I've been dealing with HOCD for a month, and it's the most horrible shit ever . You start loosing hope, heck I had a crush and now I feel like my attraction for him is gone . My stomach hurts , I don't even feel like myself
- Date posted
- 6y
I know sis ive been there i feel you. Trust me i have this for a year now. Its a craazy ride. Like i miss havinf crushes so much. Please please please dont force it. The more u forcerhe attraction towards boys the more it will leave. My advice is, take a breath. Its going to be fine. I spoke to older people dealing with this. They all told me hat their advice to their younger selves would be to relax because it all ended up to be okay. I try to do this and i findthat it helps with the axniety that comes with it. My anxiety is gone but i still feel nothing like myseld. I truly hope my feelings and abiltity to feel joy and excitement returns. if you look up hocd SG theres a great support group with wise and expierenced people. Im on there too my name is “Iwantmyoldselfback” i wrote a looot of messages onthere maybe some will help. Good luck to you! :)
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
This obsession is new, but feels so much more grounded and it’s so anxiety inducing. Since the ocd started I’ve lost my sense of self and confidence. I got soocd and it slowly turned into be doubting my identity on whether I want to identify or dress masculine or feminine. I don’t feel good in the clothes I would typically wear out before I’m constantly overanalyzing how I’m feeling , it makes me really anxious and like I’m preforming. So then I started doubting if I would rather dress masculine and it’s extremely anxiety inducing and idk if it’s the ocd now but it feels like that’s how I want to dress.. that’s not what I associated with at all before the ocd but now it feels like that’s what would make me feel fully confident and loose in the world, does anyone else experience this??
- Date posted
- 21w
I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.
- Date posted
- 13w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond