- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Same, I also feel like I've become more forgetful. My memory is no longer how it used to be. I have a harder time recalling names, faces, events... My mind feels trapped in this endless fog of doubt.
- Date posted
- 6y
Exactly. Its crazy like everything befroe hocd is a blur to me. I hate it because im so thankful for my past because i used to be so happy. The longer i have this the more it fades. Also now during hocd im forgetful. I miss my old me so much. The difference from me now and me before this is crazy. This truly feels endless. I miss attraction towards men so much. I wrote dozens of messages about my hocd on another group its hard to explain everything now on here but all i know is that this feels endless and like i lost my mind and myself and im 17 and i hate that i know im mssing out on all my teenage years. I just wish i was myself i cant live in the moment anymore. I feel like this also got me deprssed. Its truly living in fog and i want to think and see clear again.
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm dealing with the exact same thing. But I haven't told my parents , but they noticed my change in attitudes
- Date posted
- 6y
hey do you have an instagram? and wanna join a group chat?
- Date posted
- 6y
Currently I've been dealing with HOCD for a month, and it's the most horrible shit ever . You start loosing hope, heck I had a crush and now I feel like my attraction for him is gone . My stomach hurts , I don't even feel like myself
- Date posted
- 6y
I know sis ive been there i feel you. Trust me i have this for a year now. Its a craazy ride. Like i miss havinf crushes so much. Please please please dont force it. The more u forcerhe attraction towards boys the more it will leave. My advice is, take a breath. Its going to be fine. I spoke to older people dealing with this. They all told me hat their advice to their younger selves would be to relax because it all ended up to be okay. I try to do this and i findthat it helps with the axniety that comes with it. My anxiety is gone but i still feel nothing like myseld. I truly hope my feelings and abiltity to feel joy and excitement returns. if you look up hocd SG theres a great support group with wise and expierenced people. Im on there too my name is “Iwantmyoldselfback” i wrote a looot of messages onthere maybe some will help. Good luck to you! :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.
- Real Events OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- False Memory OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 20w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 20w
Just tired af... Anyone else feels like everything is a lie all the time and there is no "before the OCD I was boy crazy" just the OCD since forever... or denial because of that aspect? Really struggeling with the physical aspect of SOOCD : looking at a women's body and really feeling something and getting turned on and looking at a man's and not feeling anything... I just dont understand! I asked my friends and many of them said they dont feel anything looking at a man's body as well (they're straight) but also looking at a women's doesnt feel like much. I just dont understand ughhhh
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