Who also feels like they will bever be able to love and fall in love with someone the way they wouldve before hocd. Like before hocd i was so down to be the best partner, i thought clear and i had plans for the future, life felt like a good dream and i was happy. But now with hocd all of it has been taken away from me. It feels like i will never et the expeirence of a boyfriend the way i wouldve before hocd. Like i will never like someone the way i would if hocd never happened. I wish i had a boyfriend before hocd so that maybe i couldve expierenced the real thing even if it was for a short time. I wish i wouldve gotten my first kiss before hocd. Now i feel like i will never be the real me and i will never be the wife or girlfriend my old me would be. Because i lost me. I wish so mch she would come back so i could be able to think clear and be me and i would live my dreams. All my dreams are gone. I have nothing i can be excited over. Everything is ruined by this. I feel like im missing out on soooo much. I know i am. I just want to have the expiernce i wouldve had if i didnt have hocd. I dont want to go in a relation ship where im feeling like this and i dont want a relationship at all if i wont be the me i was before hocd. I wanted a boyfriend so bad now i get anxiety of the thought only. I could talk about this forever about the regret of not having a boyfriend. Boys always were afraid tk hit me up but now im a bit older they do hit me up but it doesnt feel like it used to. It doesnt feel happy and fluttery anymore, i get anxious and scared. It feels like i will never have the expierence as i would have if i was the before hocd version of me.

lukevvo

Date posted: 5y

There are many of us suffering from Sexual Orientation Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I think we put too much emphasis on the importance of our thoughts and therefore they become very hard on us. The harder we resist them, the worse they become.

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 6y

Okay yall my dumbass really wrote this in the wrong group, does anyone know how i can edit my message?

GummyDrop

Date posted: 5y

Do you still go hocd?

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 5y

@GummyDrop Yupp sorry to say. Atm im feeling okay so i can assure it gets better but i must say i have my downs where i feal the same as i did in my message soo... but just let time heal you, for me that helps!

GummyDrop

Date posted: 5y

@hocdgirlsummer Do you think talking to a psychiatrist will help?

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 5y

@GummyDrop Honestly i think it would ebvause i would finally be able to tell someone and truky feel like im making progress. But yeah imma just wait till im 18 i guess

GummyDrop

Date posted: 5y

@hocdgirlsummer I’m 15 I have no choice left but to go, if I don’t go, my life would be worse and I’ll be negative every and find nothing beautiful of this earth

honorroll1

Date posted: 5y

Girl, thanks so much for sharing this. It makes this easier to deal with knowing im not alone eith the same exact feelings! We can get through this. One day, this will all be a distant memory. Keep pushing

lukevvo

Date posted: 5y

And what's more the thoughts show exactly the things, which oppose our core being. But I fear it's not much of a consolation for us... The problem's mainly in our brain, e.g. chronic brain inflammation.

Shyguy92

Date posted: 5y

yea i feel the same way. Like im unable to love or fall in love.

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