My mind tells me I’m a evil murderer and a serial killer and that I’m gonna do it but I feel so depressed like I keep crying and hate seeing others happy. I’m dying. I can’t stop sobbing. Then my OCD tells me I’m Crying cause I can’t hurt anyone. Help

I had almost the exact same thoughts when I dealt with OCD. It was really scary but I got through it. ❤️

Yes I am free from Harm OCD for the most part. It took a lot of patience and time and used the four step method to help. I also saw a couple of therapists, though neither knew much about OCD. I also did things like exercise, mediate, and eat better to try to help. Essentially I had to learn that they were just thoughts and they didn’t mean anything, even if they felt important. I had to learn to accept the uncertainty and the doubt and resist compulsions. After a while the thoughts stopped bothering me, and after that they faded almost completely.

The book really helped me, personally, so it certainly wouldn’t hurt to check it out! Meditating and exercise also helped a lot. It wasn’t a cure-all but it really helped me accept that the thoughts were just thoughts. And exercise just make me feel generally better so it also helped the OCD. I had those “urgres” too, but that’s just OCD. They feel scary but they aren’t any more threatening than the thoughts. They feel like they’re important but they’re not. It’s just OCD.

I was on meds , but wasn’t really working. Psychiatrist wanted me to go on Rexulti (atypical antipsychotic) and the side effects looked awful. So I said fuck this I’m done with meds, and I researched ERP. I didn’t think it would work bc I didn’t have physical compulsions. However, I stared to realize that when I would have suicidal thoughts , my first reaction was to reassure myself I would never do that. I would constantly try to reassure myself, that reassurance I realized was my compulsion/ritual. The same way someone washes their hands is a compulsion to being dirty or whatever, harm ocd is internal and our continued attempts at trying to reassure our selves that we would never do that is the compulsion. So instead of reassuring yourself , think of suicide mentally imagine it , the consequences , until your body gets use to the anxiety associated with self harm/ocd. I’m no expert , but I been suffering from Pure O OCD, for the past year and ERP is the first thing that really helped me. I’m bout to get home , and do ERP in the shower.

I wish we could message through here so we can talk more privately. What are your thoughts, if you don’t mind me asking?

TRIGGER: I’m scared I’m going to stab someone Kill random people Hurt them Scared I enjoy violence And super super violent thoughts My mom tells me that once I kill someone it’ll give me relief and that it’s fun and pleasuring I’ve had this for about a year Some days are good But ever since college started I wanna die.

Take a deep breath. This is OCD talking. OCD is gonna try to use everything it can to tell you that you’re a monster. I’ve been there before and it is unbelievable terrifying. OCD is a monster, but you CAN get through this. You will be okay. Sending love ❤️

I’m scared I’m a pschopath sociopath All the other worse symptoms ever Sometimes I’m scared I’m gonna hurt myself Scared I’m bisexual SO BAD

@ ghostly are u free from Harm OCD thoughts please tell me ur story and give me A little hope

What did you do to get through it? Love you I feel a bit better. What did you do? ERP/ meds? Please

Personally I never did ERP or meds. I would’ve liked to but I didn’t really have the resources for meds, and I was too scared to do ERP. I used mostly a mindfulness approach to OCD, using the method described i the book Brain Lock by Jeffery Schwartz.

I’m trying so hard but they don’t go away. Should I get the book? I’ll start meditating :) the thing that drives me insane is the urges like I have this STRONG urge to act on my thoughts. But I’ll try exercising

Exercising is great to release that anxiety, but the obsessive thoughts need another strategy. I have harm OCD, but I am able to control it now to the point that the thought/urge is a small annoyance. All thanks to ERP, I basically decided to think of suicide , the ways I would do it , the consequences, read about people who did it. That spiked my anxiety until my body got use to it. And I saw results. But that’s just me , I’m gonna start professional ERP next week so see if I could get even better results

@Redmax thank you for your reply! Wait so ERP caused you to think of suicide? Yeah I’m strictly against meds for personal reason dealing with previous family members so I’m setting an appointment with them soon. I have pure OCD IDK HOW erp will Help so I’m going to a OCD center at a hospital in the city. Hopefully they take Health insurance :)

My therapist told me that ERP is the most effective way to treat OCD. It’s really scary but worth it!

Yup that’s why I’m getting professional help ERP:)

I didn’t do ERP for my harm OCD because I was scared to do it on my own and I didn’t have the resources to do it with a therapist. So I dealt with it using a mindfulness approach. This helped eventually but I really do wish I’d done ERP as my primary treatment with mindfulness helping out on the side. I think it would have probably saved me some pain. So I’m really glad you’re gonna do ERP!

I love you @ghostly! I read your post about GENDER ocd:( and I feel like if you take ERP it’ll really help you. I don’t have money either lucky I have health insurance