Scripting/rambling

So I’m not sure if this really was a script. I couldn’t figure out what to do for ERP today. I don’t have just one theme bothering me. I think it’s just OCD in general. So instead of writing anything in specific. I took myself back to the memories of when ocd was at its worst, when it felt like my life was over, and I just wrote down all of my memories from that terrible time. Because I’m so focused on how terrified I am of going back to that deep nothingness and that hopeless void of depression that ocd caused. I just decided to write out all the memories and the fears. It just became a bunch of rambling. But maybe it will make someone feel less alone? Idk. OCD comes back strong, I can’t watch tv anymore without feeling my ocd. I can’t drive and go shopping anymore without feeling close to panic. I can’t have sex with my boyfriend without having intrusive thoughts. I lay in my bed and sleep because the pain is to much to take. I desperately try to find things to relieve the anxiety and fear that come from the depression. I constantly think about my family being broken up and losing everything I love. I question everything I love. My ocd comes back strong. My ocd takes over my brain and makes me want to run away. I can’t go home. I can’t go to work. I sit in my car. I sit in my car alone, but I can’t be alone. But I feel like I need to be alone. I question if I have ocd at all. OCD takes over my life. OCD causes me to become depressed. Ocd causes me to be panicked. Ocd takes away my Breath. Ocd makes me feel like I can’t go on. Ocd takes away my boyfriend, ocd takes away my dog. Ocd takes away everything I love. Ocd makes me numb. Ocd makes me pain. Ocd makes me scared. Ocd comes back strong. OCD makes me think I need to avoid my dad. OCD makes me think I need to avoid my mom. OCD makes me think I need to break up with my boyfriend. OCD wants me to isolate from anything that can hurt me. OCD says I can’t handle pain. OCD makes me feel weak. OCD makes me feel alone. OCD makes me feel trapped in my head. OCD makes me lose my boyfriend. Question my boyfriend. Judge my boyfriend. Nit pick my boyfriend. OCD makes me think my dad is a perv. OCD makes me never want to be alone with my dad. Ocd causes me to have uncomfortable gronial responses to my dad. Ocd makes me question myself around kids. OCD makes me think about depression. Ocd makes me feel sick. OCD makes me think I need to break up with my boyfriend over the tiniest things. OCD makes me think I’ll never be happy. OCD makes me think I need to be alone. Ocd makes me think I need to isolate to live. OCD makes me question everything. OCD makes me feel close to panic. OCD makes me scared. OCD makes me feel weak.