HOCD and attraction

I’ve always noticed men who are attractive, but I’ve never craved sexual or romantic relationships with them. But now I’m going crazy because I don’t know if the fact that I see some men as attractive means I’m attracted to men, or if it’s just noticing attractive men. I don’t like that fact that I see some men as attractive because wit makes me feel like I’m gay or something. But I don’t crave sexual romance with them, I just get the random intrusive thoughts. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if it’s just HOCD or denial. Can anyone explain this or relate ?

hi5ghost

Date posted: 2y

it’s completely normal to see a person of the same sex and think they’re attractive! that doesn’t mean you’re gay at all, it means your eyes recognize beauty and that’s all

Worto

Date posted: 2y

Going through the same thing. Hi5Ghost is right though, you can recognise someone is attractive without it being indicative of anything sexual or romantic. But I know exactly what you mean, if feels horrendous.

LikeAnOnion

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I’m a gay man. I am VERY 100% gay. I can still see a woman as attractive! Many of them are. I’m not attracted to them, but they are still attractive. It’s kind of like you can see that a food you don’t like the taste of LOOKS tasty, but it still isn’t to you.

Worto

Date posted: 2y

Do you mind if I ask you some questions. They're going to sound ridiculous I'm sure, but I'm seriously down right now.

LikeAnOnion

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Worto Go ahead! Just think about whether the questions are compulsions to reassure yourself though

Worto

Date posted: 2y

@LikeAnOnion Well, it is in a in a way. The trouble is that I've genuinely not got any gay people in my friend network (I have hardly any network at all tbh) so I've never really heard how being gay even works. My problem is that I'm having all these intrusive thoughts, what I believe might be false attractions and all this Compulsive checking - but unlike other people I don't get the 'groinal' response. Sounds ridiculous but this makes me worry. I've never been physically aroused by thoughts of men. I've tried many times to either reassure myself or get closure by imagining scenarios where I'm with another man and felt nothing but anxiety and 'ick'. Likewise, if I check and try and reassure myself by laying there imagining sex with an attractive woman, I become aroused almost instantly. If my wife gives me a look, or if even just hug her sometimes, I'll get physically aroused. The thing I worry about, is how gay people in denial live. Like, how do their wives or husbands never suspect anything? I don't understand it. Logically I guess someone in denial would be looking at gay porn in secret or something?

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@Worto Bro this sounds 100 percent like me

edimichael

Date posted: 20w

acceptance

it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w

HOCD or not?

Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?

Mimo116

Date posted: 9w

So-ocd,please answer

Can hocd create mental feelings or things that resemble inclinations Without a physical response?, but such as arousal and mental attraction, for example, I have so ocd and I'm afraid that I might like women.So, in the last period, when I look at photos of girls, especially beautiful ones, I feel something strange or attracted,sometimes their bodies.And I'm confused as to what that might mean, it's like sexual orientation, is this from me or OCD produced by it?'The feeling is like the feeling of discovering new inclinations and this breaks me, I just want to reconcile with myself in any sexual orientation or identity, but I just can't feel comfortable and reconcile with the fact that I may like women or it may happen in the future.And I have these feelings that telling me messing around the girls would be fun, and I feel something like desire, but I never come to terms with this.. I'm going to be 15 years old, I know, I'm not supposed to think like that, I don't have the right to determine who I am now because im young, and I shouldn't continue to dream of marrying a man..My mind keeps reminding me of the fact that I'm a teenager and the likelihood that everything will change is high, but right now, I'm not asking for anything but rest.I want to love myself and reconcile with her.

Sexual Orientation OCD

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HOCD and attraction

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