Feeling emotional today

Hey guys. I just did my ERP I focused on meta-ocd today. I’m not exactly sure why but I also don’t wanna continue to ruminate and try to figure out why I’m feeling anxious. All day the anxiety has been in my chest, rising and falling. All day the anxiety has been in my chest continuously going up and down. When this happens, it causes me to try and find the reason behind it. I am kind of emotional and my brain is trying to figure out why that is. I don’t really have any real reason other than my OCD, and focusing on the fact that I have OCD and wishing that I didn’t. I kind of want to cry and during ERP I almost let myself. I’m really afraid of becoming depressed again. When I feel like this, I focus on every tiny detail from the big ones to the small ones. I want to go home and see my boyfriend and I want to see my dog but then my OCD focuses on the fears that I might lose them or I might fall out of love or we might break up or I might lose my dog or my boyfriend will leave me etc. so when I try to find comfort in my loved ones, OCD attacks that as well and it is really frustrating. I am just so afraid of ever going back to that dark place that I was when OCD first took grip of my life last summer. I’ve come such a long way, and I feel like a broken record at this point, but the fear is still so real that I can become so depressed again. I would never wish OCD or depression on my worst enemy because it is really difficult having to go through life when your brain is constantly making, you question and doubt in fear, and just have anxiety for no reason even when you don’t have intrusive thoughts. I’m just feeling a little bit discouraged today and I’m trying to acknowledge the uncomfortable feelings and let them be there and let them rise and fall but I think I just need to know that I’m not alone in this right now and I hope that that’s not reassurance seeking, but it makes it easier to deal with my symptoms when I know that other people will have the same kind of situation. I really think that it’s meta-OCD that I’m struggling with today, of course, with a mixture of our rOCD as usual I know I will be OK and I have to except the fact that maybe I will become depressed again the difference between that and now is that I have the tools to work through it. I’m just scared and I’m a little bit tired, I hope everybody else is having a wonderful day