ocd worse now that im happier?

i have no idea if this needs a trigger warning or not, but i go into some detail about my intrusive thoughts so i thought it was better safe than sorry my ocd was bad as a younger kid, i wasnt diagnosed nor did i even know about it. though im not diagnosed yet, im 100% sure i have ocd and ive never been more confident in something (i wish i could get a diagnosis but im young, scared ppl wont believe me, and my parents dont understand ocd and think it's just my anxiety– but that's not the point of this post) as i grew older, my ocd wasn't super bad but i was very sad a lot of the time. recently, within the last year, im the happiest ive ever been. i dropped a person that made me feel terrible, i started dating my best friend of three years and he makes me the happiest man on earth (i have not a single complaint in the world about him), and i have a close group of a few friends who i love. i also came out as trans and gay to my family after years, which felt like a giant weight off my shoulders. overall, been an amazing year, but as i got happier, my ocd got worse. i feel like now that im happy and have something to lose, my intrusive thoughts have something to cling onto– and it's a variety of intrusive thoughts (thoughts about my loved ones leaving me/dying, thoughts that my loved ones actually hate me, thoughts that my life could come crashing down from one little thing that either happened in the past or that will happen in the future, etc etc) i feel like a shit person for it, i feel like a shit person for crying all the time when im happy and i feel like a shit person for my thoughts. im a kid still, i just want my brain to leave me alone and i don't know what to do about it it's gotten to the point where i can't sleep because im so overwhelmed, i guess i just want reassurance? ive heard that reassurance isnt good for ocd, but i honestly just kinda want reassurance that this is normal, that im not alone so is it normal for my ocd to be worsening now that im happier? if so, what do i do about it? i feel lost, im tired, thank you

PoWarrior

Date posted: 2y

heyy, ocd clings onto the things you care most about. so if you care about being happy and having a good life, full of love, ocd will make you think you don’t deserve it. but you do ❤️. take it one day at a time. maybe write down all the good things that happen in a day, literally anything that makes you smile or even the tiniest but happy and then when ocd comes crashing it say ‘hey, look, i know you think i don’t deserve this, but look at all the good things that happened today, i can’t wait for what tomorrow brings’ don’t let ocd take the power from all the good things. i know it’s hard, i really know, but there’s so much love and light around you that ocd wants to get rid of. you gotta fight for it but one day, things will get easier and ocd will give up and let you have some peace. you’re doing great lovely, keep smiling and being happy xxx

sizzle

Date posted: 2y

thank you so much, that actually means a lot :') ill start doing that, it seems like itll work!!! thank you again, this means a ton! first time posting something on here and first time getting some form of advice from somebody who understands ocd personally so it's really comforting. have a good day/night!!

Karotajs-the...

Date posted: 2y

My ocd is worse when im happy too. Its awful. I get it

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Help?

So, I don't know if anyone's going to comment on this post, but I've been doing pretty badly lately. I suffered from a second relapse of OCD around nearly a year ago, back when I first experienced OCD, I had all the symptoms, researching, crying none-stop, suicidal, etc, but now that it's been almost four years of this same theme. It doesn't feel nearly as bad anymore? It's almost like it brings me happiness??? I see people saying with confidence that they'd never do their intrusive thoughts but I can't agree with them, I'm not confident I won't do them, a few years ago, I'd say I'd NEVER do them and I would rather kill myself before doing them but now I can't say it. I don't know what's going on anymore and what makes it worse I think is that my feelings are all over the place, a part of me wants to give up while the other part of me is still fighting and I'm crying right now as I write this but I don't even know if I'm scared. Sometimes I just let myself "enjoy" the intrusive thoughts because I'm so tired and everytime I look at a reddit post about someone saying that they felt guilty for enjoying an intrusive thought, I don't feel that same emotion, and I keep researching and researching. It doesn't feel like OCD anymore. I can't even say I'm scares for the right reasons, my brain keeps telling me that I'm only scared because I don't want others to look down on me and the truth is that I actually "enjoy" the thoughts and I simply don't want to be looked down upon on society. I don't know what to do, I want to go in the bathroom and cry until I disappear

"Pure" OCD

Holl1

Date posted: 16w

OCD

So I’ve noticed that my OCD has calmed down, I’m getting less intrusive thoughts but I feel more uncertain than ever. Is this normal for recovery?

LizM99

Date posted: 15w

Is this something OCD does?

Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢

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ocd worse now that im happier?

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