I wish I didn’t have this ego or maybe it’s anxiet

I had sex with a guy who works at my gym. It took a year for us to finally do it. The interaction we had after was cool and sweet but I saw him again after that and idk he’s acting a little cold and not flirty at all or how he usually is. It’s bothering me so much but it’s just my ego that’s bruised. I feel used and I don’t know I wanted to cry last time I saw him. He’s ten years younger than me. I kinda wanna cancel my membership. I have to remember that his reaction to me is his own stuff not mine. I have been nothing but kind to him so that’s on him if he wants to be cold but still, it hurts. It’s my ego. I don’t like rejection

Kilo2001

Date posted: 1y ago

You said he’s 10 years younger, is he in his early 20s?

Mooooni

Date posted: 1y ago

@Kilo2001 Yes he’s 25

ReadyForImpr...

Date posted: 1y ago

Oof. That's rough. Your experience is a normative one... people without OCD struggle with rejection and having a dynamic shift after intimacy with someone. It's ok to let yourself feel how you feel. I hope it's just him feeling a little awkward and not wanting it to be obvious to anyone that he has been intimate with a client. But you can handle not knowing. There's definitely uncertainty here which OCD just loves to latch onto. Don't cancel yet! You might stop caring about it shortly 🩷

Mooooni

Date posted: 1y ago

@ReadyForImprovement Most definitely! I never hit him up and we talked about how I shouldn’t be shy and just do so. So I can guess many things but I should just work on my courage to go and not take it personal. This message helped, thank you

anonymous700

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel like with my OCD I find it so challenging to handle rejection especially when it comes to intimate relationships because I immediately think “what did I do wrong?/ what is wrong with me?” But it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. You can’t beat yourself up. It’s hard though especially when it’s in a space where you see him constantly. I say give it some time and if you feel uncomfortable then cancel your membership and go to another gym. But you shouldn’t have to make an inconvenience for yourself when he’s the one acting this way. So actually, don’t cancel something you find comfort in and feel safe at.

Mooooni

Date posted: 1y ago

@anonymous700 Yes that’s exactly me. Did I do something wrong?! Maybe he’s just acting distant since I don’t hit him up and he’s always the one that does. I don’t know. Anyway, it’s not my concern. I don’t know if I should hit him up. I don’t know why I overthink and think he won’t text me back blah blah. I have that ocd theme where I’m afraid people won’t text me back then I worry so I avoid it

anonymous700

Date posted: 1y ago

@Mooooni Same here! It’s horrible, because you wait and wait and check your phone and then it kinda ruins your day only to find out they were actually busy. What helps me is the constant reminder that this is my OCD and there’s nothing that I did that made them not want to reply.

aza holmes

Date posted: 23w ago

Love

I’m confused. I think I’ve gotten progressively more boy crazy and more of a hopeless romantic, but I’ve completely manipulated myself into thinking that boys just don’t like me and I think it’s a fact. In the past, I was confused and lost on what my sexuality was so I would be in a lot of “flirty” friendships thinking that I genuinely liked my female friends I had these friendships with but that was far from the truth. I can’t imagine myself being with a woman but for some reason it’s just easier for me to talk and flirt with them. I have trauma involving why I brainwashed myself into thinking that I’m a magnet that repels boys from me and I still think that and it’s ruining my brain. (I have a crush on this guy and texted him for the first time, he never replied!!!) which honestly proves my point even more. Am I right or is just all in my head? Some advice please!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w ago

Obsessing over coworker for months OCD

You know when you have weird thoughts about a coworker and because you have OCD these thoughts really stick and you panic and feel sick? Yeah that’s me and I’ve struggled with having intrusive thoughts about my coworker and now he just got in a relationship with my coworker and my intrusive thoughts are WORSE I thought they would be better? And initially they were because I was relieved that he couldn’t be weird with me now because he has a girlfriend. But this is the thought that i cannot get over- my OCD is like you’re jealous that he doesn’t like you and he’s not with you instead and i envy this girl he is with. Why the fuck am I having these thoughts while I’m in a healthy relationship and love my boyfriend to DEATH- like I know he is my forever. I couldn’t look at him today because I’ve been obsessing over this thought I’ve had in work and now I have to find a new job I hope no one will judge me for these thoughts or maybe someone has had this weird thought before? :(

Relationship OCD

Self aware

Date posted: 14w ago

High anxiety and perfectionism

I have sent nudes before when I was younger and I am really struggling with the fact that I have sent them because it makes me feel like I am such a bad person and I don’t deserve certain things. I try my hardest to be a good person and do the right things but I obviously have made lots and lots of mistakes. I cannot get over these mistakes I’ve made because I judge myself so hard for them and it’s making it hard to function.

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I wish I didn’t have this ego or maybe it’s anxiet

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