I’m struggling to make the biggest decision of my life and I would really appreciate some advice. In a few weeks I’m supposed to be going off to college (a highly competitive top 20 school). I’m terrified as my symptoms of OCD, panic, and depression are quite severe. I’m currently in an OCD partial hospitalization and the doctors recommend that I put off going to college and go to residential OCD treatment instead. However, my parents think I should go straight to college. I did residential OCD treatment for 3 months last summer and then another two months in partial and my symptoms did not get significantly better. My parents think that it would be avoidance to put off college and my symptoms will just get bad again when I have to go to school in the future. I’m struggling to know who to listen to. Do I listen to the doctors who know the illness better or my parents who know me better? I’m struggling so much to decide that I don’t even know what I really want anymore. I could really use any advice or decision making tips. Thank you so much.

I’m tempted to find a third option that’s more of a compromise. Can you get treatment while at school? Can you take on a partial workload at school for your first semester/quarter? I understand that your symptoms are severe, but it sounds like you’ve managed to be quite successful academically despite OCD. Getting it’s a top 20 school isn’t easy! What was it like for you to achieve this? Was the stress harmful to your mental health or did you find school a welcome challenge in your life? I am curious about your parents perspective. I’m surprised they are not more in favor of treatment. Do they not believe your symptoms are that severe? Do they not believe the treatment works? Do they think you can go to school and acting like a normal undergrad will make you become one — as if OCD will just magically go away? Delaying school isn’t necessarily avoidance (sometimes treatment is simply more important), and jumping into a full course load may be too much too fast if your symptoms are currently debilitating. I would normally side more with your doctors, but it sounds like what they’re recommending is a type of treatment you’ve already tried and failed to benefit from in the past. Giving up starting school for such a lack luster option gives me pause. Which is why I wonder if there are other treatment options available that would let you still go to school (if only part time.)

I know it sounds cheesy but when I am in a conundrum like this I ask myself, instead of what is the right thing to do?, "what is the loving and compassionate thing to do?" - I don't know you or your life to know which one would be that for you. However, you DO know yourself, probably better than your parents or the doctors.

I feel like school would be a good option for you because OCD is chronic. You might spiral out again if you decide to go back to school after getting treatment. Going to both school and treatment can help you adapt to social environments while having OCD.