I dont like reposting but i want an answer to this

I didnt got any answers but many liked it so i guess they would like to get an answer too...

VGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Hi there. When I get triggered, when my OCD thoughts/feelings come crashing in the response that has helped me is to acknowledge the thought/feelings. If I were to use your example, "what's the point to life?" I would acknowledge that I was having that OCD thought. I would accept that I have those thoughts and the terrible feelings that come with it including the anxiety. I would accept that I get anxiety and the thoughts make me feel depressed. Acceptance doesn't mean they are true, it is just acknowledging these thoughts/feelings are there. The next part is important - I would not engage with the thoughts or feelings in anyway past the initial acknowledgment of them being there. I would not be "worried" about what having these thoughts would mean for me, I wouldn't investigate where they come from, or how long they will last or how to prevent them. Any of those behaviors would be rumination (a compulsion) which only makes the feelings stronger. This is the response prevention part of Exposure Response Prevention. During the response prevention when you just allowing the thoughts/feelings with no engagement, I find it helpful to be sure you are doing behaviors that you value. What do you care about - family, friends, a pet, school, work? Maybe you care about getting better. When I was going through recovery I got really clear on what I valued. I would ask myself, "If I didn't have OCD/Anxiety, what would I be doing or like to do right now?" Then I would go do it. I didn't feel like, I usually felt pretty bad when I was triggered. My therapist explained to me that I needed to feel those feelings without doing anything to relieve that distress. This was how I taught my brain to deal with uncertainty and distress. When I would say to my therapist that I didn't "feel" like doing anything when I was so upset, she would remind me "doing" comes before "feeling" you have to do something before you feel better. The secret is the more you practice this, you truly do start to feel better. Another helpful tip I learned is that it truly doesn't feel good when you start on this journey. It is hard, it feels very risky, irresponsible, depressing and you have to be willing to have all those feelings while you move forward with your life. I promise on the other side of OCD your life is waiting for you. It's very hard work, it takes practice, but I'm here to tell you it is so worth it. Hope this helps, sorry so many words :)

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

Thank you! You reminded me what i need to do. You know what i forgot was that worrying (omg what if this is true) its not me, its ocd trying to get attention. I got focused so much on changing my reaction that i identified worrying and the what if thoughts as my reaction/me. Its so tricky cause people say worrying is what you do but its not... reaction means something else.

VGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@PRIV8 Sorry you had that experience with the therapist. That certainly wasn’t helpful. If you have the opportunity, try NOCD. I too initially had a therapist who was trained to treat OCD (not with NOCD) and I had a similar reaction from her. My NOCD therapist was so skilled, she was able to convey to me what I needed to do in such a skilled way. That is what a great therapist should do, you shouldn’t have to “figure it out”.

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

Well i got triggered so badly today and now im dealing with ocd again... i notice i want to escape from the thoughts or feel that its just ocd but i dont feel that so i take them seriously... even the feelings... so i start to get angry again. I noticed everytime i get hit by ocd and i try to do the work, i get hit by meta ocd. "Am i doing the work right? Is it gone? I wont recover? Why i forget what i need to do every time? I do the work but it doesnt work now... why doesnt work?" And i react to every thought and feeling i have... the problem is i want to feel what i feel when i confidently ingnore the thoughts and i can see that its just stupid ocd, and the what if thoughts are just ocd trying to get my attention,.but these times when it hits me hard, i cant see that, or more feel that. I know feeling comes after you do something, but i find myself desperately trying to change that feeling... This will be a good opportunity to learn how do i react in these situations. Its so hard cause i have this feeling that constantly hits me that "i just want to feel good" when i try to do the work and i always give so much attention to that. Maybe i shouldnt... maybe thats not even me, its just ocd wanting to get my attention...

McDucko

Date posted: 2y

This really is a lot for anyone to process which is why I don't think you got a lot of input. This is why we always recommend a therapist, this can get confusing and not many people on here are qualified to answer how you need to account for these feelings.

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

I had 2 therapist, neither of them helped. The last one was an "ocd therapist" atleast thats what they said, but she helped a little, she did more harm then good... one time she acted like i just talk to much and the whole session was just me talking and the end she said i talk to much about my problems... i paid for that...and she said that i want to escape from the pain, thats why i developed suicidal ocd, she really pushed this idea that i have some depreassion or something from the past when i said to her many times that i worked the past for years and i didnt found anything, actually searching for a problem was an obsession... and ofc when she said she thinks people with ocd never recover, they just cope with it, thats was the time i leaved... I learned everything i know about ocd on youtube, i found people that can actually help, i believe that God helped me find these people. I learned what she told me about suicidal ocd is a complete bullsht, i dont want to escape from any pain... its just ocd playing with me... ocd made me feel like i want to die but i never did anything and love myself. Idk if she said these things just for erp, but the whole therapy was so confusing. The videos i found an youtube made me understand ocd and i realised so many things that i do wrong. On therapy i just felt bad everytime...

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