I’m exhausted.

I’m sick of people telling me that someone is just around the corner or there is someone for everyone. I’ve been single for twenty years. I’ve told my doctors but they don’t do anything. It’s like they are saying I’m a freak so it is perfectly normal. I can’t go near any woman I like because of trauma and I want that treated. Well I assume it is trauma because the doctor eon’t tell me what it is. I hate when you ask them a question and they don’t say they don’t have an answer they just move on. I’ve lost 2 1/2 stone, I have a business, I don’t take drugs or drink or smoke, I take care of my personal hygiene, I shave and I get my haircut every two weeks. I’m obviously taking care of myself so being single for twenty years surely suggests there is an issue. I really try my best but I don’t want to do any more as it becomes compulsive. Is it wrong to ask for proper help and expect to get it?

Trish1014

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

My ocd therapist solely worked with me on the ocd. I had a year & half of emdr before that. For me, working on my ocd helped me greatly be able to then make great progress in additional emdr for the trauma. That is what helped me. Having my ocd better managed helped me be be able to open myself up more completely to the emdr work then. That’s how I worked for me. I’m not sure about others. I thought I was never going to get anywhere but I did. It took me fully opening up & letting go of the strict control I had to have over myself at all times & in all ways.

Trish1014

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Do you have a therapist? A therapist can help you work on trauma. You can also work on ocd. I have childhood trauma that along with the ocd has greatly affected my life in the way of dating. It has actually kept me from dating, or dating only a few times & for a few dates in 20+ years. I used to see myself as a freak becusse I wanted a dating relationship but I had too many worries & fears. Some came from the trauma & were amped up with the ocd. Some were just the ocd. All along the way depression has been there in the mix too. I understand this well.

NotSoNewb82

Date posted: 1y ago

@Trish1014 I’m between therapists with NOCD. After twenty years and a lot of hard work can you blame me for venting? I’ve done as much as I can do without making myself ill. The thing is that even if I did eventually find someone odds are it wouldn’t work out. Then what? Another twenty years? I’m 41 and too old. I know they say no excuses but what can I do?

Trish1014

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@NotSoNewb82 I’m not saying it is easy, not that I have it all figured out. But I am in a place now where I am actually thinking about trying to date again. I get being older too. I am 48. It is so hard. I am going into it as just having a good time meeting new people & see from there. That’s how I have to approach it for me. Through lots of therapy, 12 years worth. And most of that being talk therapy which never worked. In the last year & a half with ocd therapy I have come farther than I ever did with all of those years combined. Treat the trauma. Work on the ocd. I think the key is being okay yourself. Liking yourself. Doing what is good for yourself. At least it was for me. I wish you the best. It can be done, to get to a better place with trauma & ocd.

NotSoNewb82

Date posted: 1y ago

@Trish1014 Did your NOCD therapist help with the trauma? I’ve had EMDR but not for this.

ReadyForImpr...

Date posted: 1y ago

I did EMDR for trauma before treating my OCD. I'm fearful of men and was having trouble dating. Between the trauma therapy and ERP, I was able to get back out there... I still struggle with meeting new people and dating, but I have done it and was in a relationship for a while. We aren't together now and I want to date again (but not at all, at the same time) so I'm trying again. I get how hard it is.

NotSoNewb82

Date posted: 1y ago

@ReadyForImprovement I cannot go near women in that way. As soon as I feel interested I just shut down. And the offers I get don’t help. From blind drunk girls, women in relationships, men, women who were formally men, old women, women who are far too young. I mean if these are things people are into I’m not judging but if you aren’t into it it isn’t nice. People should have a bit of respect and be less selfish.

ReadyForImpr...

Date posted: 1y ago

@NotSoNewb82 The trauma therapy should help with that aversion and shutting down. ERP after that helps too. I think you can make progress if you have the right therapy and are open to working to get past it. The platitudes people give are well-meaning, but they're just words. The only thing that is true is that you can work to get past your issues and will have the opportunity to be open to possibilities.

NotSoNewb82

Date posted: 1y ago

@ReadyForImprovement What changed for you to get into a relationship?

ReadyForImpr...

Date posted: 1y ago

@NotSoNewb82 The EMDR help with some of the trauma, especially around a situation with a man (stalking, police intervention). ERP is helping me to accept that I can trust my judgment and the uncertainty that there's still always a chance I could be with someone who isn't a safe person. I still have a lot of issues around personal safety and meeting new people, but I'm getting better at not letting OCD make decisions for me.

NotSoNewb82

Date posted: 1y ago

I hope you both find someone for you. I know what trauma is like. It’s like I feel I shouldn’t give up but I’ve done so much for nothing. People have been telling me someone is around the corner for years so I know it is bull.

Danni2314

Date posted: 23w ago

First time posting !! Schizophrenic OCD. Help.

TW. Also long post ahead . I’ve been dealing with OCD for the past 10 years. I’m 32 years old . I didn’t get diagnosed with OCD until this year. I was always diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder, and depression. I don’t have your typical compulsions. Mine are mostly all mental. Reassurance seeking, avoidance , repeating a prayer , etc . I have three main themes . Schizophrenia OCD, sexual orientation OCD, and HIV. Sometimes i deal with harm OCD and POCD but my main big three are the ones I listed first . I feel like the schizophrenic OCD is the most debilitating for me. For the last ten years I’ve been thinking I’m losing my mind . I thought once I got to a certain age the fear would go away but it hasn’t and is in full force . I’m constantly checking my surroundings, what I’m hearing, how I’m acting , questioning if things are real and so on . Now I do have times where this theme doesn’t bother me . It’s put on the back burner . I go through cycles . But when I’m focusing on this theme I feel like I’m hearing stuff . Most of the time I can’t make it out but recently I feel like I’ve been hearing a whisper saying “hey” . It mainly happens at night . It sends me into a complete panic and I feel like “this is it “ I’m seeing an OCD therapist and she recommended me to go to this psychiatric place in town to get meds to help my anxiety from the OCD. My last psychiatrist always pushed the newest medicine and was constantly changing up my regimen. I thought I would give it a try. WORST IDEA EVER . Keep in mind my therapist gave me a letter to give to her explaining I have been diagnosed with OCD and explaining it . She doesn't think I have OCD at all. She wanted to put me on an antipsychotic so me with my OCD brain . I asked her if she thought I was psychotic . She said I was nearing psychosis . She called me interesting . She feels like I have major depressive disorder . I'm just at a loss for words. It was honestly the strangest meeting I have had with a psychiatrist. It was very unprofessional. She has no idea the damage she has done nor do I think she cares. I just don't know what to Believe in anymore ... We met for approximately 45 minutes . First time ever meeting. I just want to cry and I’m freaking out 😢

tlousluvr

Date posted: 12w ago

advice 🧸

hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗

TrustGod24

Date posted: 9w ago

Resentment

I’m turning 30 in a few months and all I can think about how my Parents never took the initiative to actually help me when it came to my mental illness. Now my OCD is probably the worst it’s ever been and I feel like I can’t do anything. Like I’m trapped in a tunnel and there’s no way out. I’ve gone from job to job, never fully finished my degree due to severe OCD/depression never making enough money for professional help and being gaslighted all these years about my illness. I resent my family and myself for not trying hard enough to get better. If anyone can relate feel free to share. Anyways I pray this year will be the year I find my out.

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I’m exhausted.

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