I wanna give up

ERP is very, very effective, but it's no cake walk. Many of us find that at first it gets worse before it gets better. This is because you're standing up to OCD and it's going to do everything possible to keep you in its grasp. If you stick with it (and, really, what's the alternative but a life of misery) you will find over time that you'll get the upper hand and OCD will gradually dissipate. Bottom line: stick with it!

It is a big, scary battle! I can absolutely understand feeling like you want to give up! I think you are so brave for sharing this. It’s like you and control of your life you want back ,ERP + practice and/or other treatments, practice on one side, and over-controlling OCD with its false panic alarms that feel/uncertainty that can feel overwhelming on the other. Personal experience with ERP: it takes time and repetition + practice. When I first started I had many more unsuccessful exposures than successful. With time and practice, and a slowly growing self-confidence, I noticed the tide was shifting the other way. Rinse and repeat for next compulsion. Due to pandemic related relapse, I am currently back on I hope to be more sturdy horse (not as consistently as I need to be yet but that is the plan) getting back into battle. It will very likely involving falling off the horse and needing to get back on I recognize ERP may not be effective for everyone, but it does help a lot of people (and you may be one of them!), including myself to learn to manage my OCD more effectively. My advice - talk to your therapist about your concerns and give it enough time to see if it effectively helps you!