Every since I started doing this, man, my ocd has been going haywire. It’s just super exhausting - it’s like I’m fighting it, and it’s doing it’s best to survive. Making up all these narratives constantly, god it’s exhausting. It’s like the more I attack it, the more ocd stuff goes through my head. So annoying. What have you guys done when this has happened?
When my OCD gets loud, I make sure I don't engage with the narratives in any way. I make sure I'm engaged with things I value and enjoy. You are right, it is exhausting and it doesn't feel good. I used to say to my therapist it feels so horrible, I don't think I can stand it. Here is the thing, you practice handling it, you practice having days where you feel horrible but keep doing value-driven activities (even if it is just getting out of bed and taking a shower). You practice and be kind to yourself, this is extremely tough work, but, with practice, it does get better. Life is so much better on the other side of OCD recovery. What I learned is how great life can be. Sure, I still get OCD thoughts, but I mostly can quickly use my tools and not engage. It is worth the hard work!
@VGH Yeah it definitely is horrible. Before, when I was walking around, it felt like a bad friend, just talking to me, and saying mean things to my face in a non-confrontational way. Now, it feels like a really pissed off friend, after I stood up for myself, screaming in my face, and telling me all kinds of bad things about myself. It’s exhausting. It’s like the intensity got turned up
From what I understand it means you are getting better! The more you fight back the louder OCD will scream! But stay with it…you are stronger and can win! I like to think of it like the screeching child at the grocery store that wants candy and the parent says no. Child will scream louder, but will eventually stop! You show OCD who is really in control!
@Dutchgirl Hahaha I love that analogy. And I really appreciate hearing that. It’s good to know that I’m changing - finally kicking ocd’s ass haha
I use this same analogy! I use to think of it as a demon then I realized it was a tantrum like a kid. Super helpful for me.
@Will86 That’s actually exactly how I’ve been thinking about it! Like a demon that I’m fighting, or a pissed off little kid
What do you mean by making up narratives? Because I do that in my head and I wanna know what that’s like for you?
@Rage against the machine It makes up narratives, like that “so and so looked at me, because they think I’m weird,” “that car sped by fast because it was someone who knows me, and they were repulsed,” or “people know something about me that I myself want to keep to myself.” Just ridiculous stuff like that. Is it the same for you?
I completely understand this and am in the same boat. I hate it
@AR912 Yeah, me too. It seems like a parasite. Like we’re slowly killing it, and it’s trying to survive. Or something like that
@Unknown111 Like we’re kicking it’s butt, and it’s fighting back haha
@AR912 Yes!! It’s exactly it. It almost gets worse before it gets better. As with most hard things I suppose
Hope you are doing, just wanted to say hang in there, sometimes the worst days mean we are winning because we aren’t giving in to OCD’s demands.
venting cause im tired of this: sorry for yelling it’s for emphasis, HAVE ANY OF MY FREAKOUTS CAUSED BY OCD ACTUALLY HELPED ME?? PROBABLY NOT? (no seriously they havnt this is exposure therapy now I ain’t reassuring myself) HAVE THEY MADE ME SLEEP DEPRIVED? YES HAVE THEY MADE MY HANDS CRACK AND BLEED FOR YEARS? YES (ouch currently can’t even move my hands without them cracking open) HAVE THEY MADE ME TAKE WAY TO MANY SHOWERS TO THE POINT MY HAIR IS LIKE STRAW? YES HAVE THEY MADE ME LOST WITHIN MY SELF AND RUIN RELATIONSHIPS? YES :( HAVE THEY MADE ME AVOID AREAS OF MY NICE HOME? YES (double sucks cause i only moved late last year) legit in the last couple of months i thought i had could have tetanus, insecticide poisoning, mould in my hair and bed, that somehow bleach and alcohol or ammonia got mixed and i made a toxic gas (I don’t even own bleach etc) thrown out towels and clothes and so so much more. just wtf is ocd, why? Why does it do this?? Surely people without ocd are just wondering what they’ll have for lunch or something?? NOT OMG ITS GOT MOULD ITS SPREAD EVERYWHERE. I’m so tired, just want to live life without being terrified all the time. Please join in with what you’re over with when it comes to OCD, it’s good to vent sometimes.
I been dealing with OCD my entire life but recently I been finding it really difficult to find the slightest relief. I know it’s not good to do but I been trying not to think of the thoughts but of course they come back even stronger. Does anyone know what I could do in the meanwhile ? Thank you
I’ve been stuck in this cycle for the last month or two and am not sure how to get out of it. Basically, I will work on ignoring the thoughts and not responding or engaging plus limiting/completely eliminating compulsions. After a week or two of constant work, the amount of intrusive thoughts in a day goes down. The anxiety each thought causes also goes down with some, but not all, thoughts passing without notice like they would for a normal person. The thoughts that do stick cause anxiety and make me want to ruminate or do other compulsions but I make sure to limit them. After a bit, I’m in a pretty good head space. This is usually when it goes down hill. I’ll start to question if I even have ocd because some of the thoughts (once again not all) pass without notice. The difficulty resisting compulsions goes down and so does the anxiety, only increasing the questioning. I spend a while questioning if I’ve ever had ocd in the first place and then something sets me off or the questioning itself becomes a trigger and I get stuck back into the same ocd cycle with constant rumination, anxiety, and other compulsions. This lasts for a week or two before I know I need to stop and try and work hard to get back to ignoring the thoughts. And the cycle just restarts over and over again. Does anyone have any tips to stop this from happening? It’s really harming my recovery as every few weeks I dive back into the same negative place I was.
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