WOW.. I thought I was alone.

Reading these posts is heartbreaking, but also eye opening as to how much we’ve allowed fear to torment and control us. I’m curious as to how many on here have had proper treatment. I’m guessing those who are recovered wouldn’t be on here.

It makes me feel so much better about myself knowing other people go through this as well. I’m so so fucking scared of my own thoughts and I hate it so much. I don’t want to be a bad person and I wish these thoughts could get out of my head once and for all. Thank you for making me feel understood.

So, this may not be everyone’s cup of tea. But eight years ago after getting out of the military. I was very ill, my walking around weight now is 219-225 I love food. At that time I was 159 I thought I had cancer I couldn’t keep food down. I spent more time going to that bathroom than living. The VA thought it would be good to put me on muscle relaxers, it did the opposite affect. It made me worse almost to the point where I almost lost control and took my own life. Fast forward eight years later and the fear of losing control is what is consistently on my mind. I do rituals to make sure the door is locked, I have to watch my groceries at all times because I feel like someone might poison me. I have to put my clothes on a certain way or else I feel like I might lose control. So, this is my life right now I had my first appointment today and I can feel some light at the end of the tunnel. I know erp therapy is going to be rough. But I just want my life back. To all suffering from this terrible thing called ocd keep fighting and turn to God, it really does help me when the anxiety kicks up. Love you all and remember the valley is only temporary and the sun shines brightest at the peak. Don’t give up.