I feel like the more I vent about my struggles and fears to people, the more God will punish me with more struggles cuz I'm not praying and trusting in God's plan for me and instead of having Faith I'm doubting everything...
That is not in God’s character. That is just OCD talking to you. 1 John 4:18, Zephaniah 3:17 When we let people in, they can speak truth over us and we begin to heal. Talking to people despite your feelings is an act of faith. I would reccomend scrupulosity.com and Soulshepherding on Instagram for more resources 🩵
@Iceberg22 Proud of you, I know it’s hard and I have been where you have been 🩵
Idk I feel like my relationship with God is more based on fear than love... I fear He'll punish me with diseases and that's like my biggest fear- I hate being sick
this one time mum yelled at me saying, 'keep crying about your health and you'll not have kids' cuz I'm diagnosed to pcos and mostly fear about not being able to conceive.. now everytime I'm overwhelmed and want to cry cuz of the pain and all these intrusive thoughts, I keep thinking about what mum said .. then force myself to not cry at all
I'm so sorry you are dealing with that. I think when we are kids we can be whiney and our parents can lose patience. But that's normal. It's better as an adult to share your struggles, unless it's a compulsion to ask for reassurance. We ask for support when needed, but we don't keep pestering people for reassurance.
@AnonymousGirl14 Oh .. How do you deal with the pressure that comes with pcos? I feel like I'm being crushed under the weight ... The thing is that I've always loved kids Ever since I remember, I've always wished to create a family of my own ( ik ik it sounds cringe esp in this new generation) So just thinking about not being able to create one and experience motherhood... just makes me feel less of a woman .. Yeah and you're right, I do sometimes envy girls who are blessed with regular periods and a healthy menstrual cycles, who look at kids as if they are aliens and wish of not having them I just can't imagine not having one of my own .. though I'm open to adoption and also love babysitting and in general being around kids But what I wanna 'feel' is being able to experience motherhood as in creating a little Life
@messkat55 I think it is a compulsion thing I do ... I keep asking if I'm making a mistake or not and when I do make a mistake, I feel like God is definitely gonna punish me ... I just don't know how to stop repeating all this
@Ella_ Rose I understand how hard it is to have to challenge the fearful mentality. And I’m sorry about what your mum said and how it’s affected you. If it’s any consolation, I think sometimes parents (and everyone) will say things that they don’t mean/ that they don’t realize have such a big effect. Just know that it’s okay to cry and let others in🫶🏻
I'm religious and all, but nihilism is your friend in this instance.
Lmaooo Okay this one is actually my go to until I'm completely crushed by guilt eh :/
@Ella_ Rose I learned from a friend who was crippled by anxiety. Talked to my therapist about it and she said "yeah, I guess that sorta makes sense to think that way".
@McDucko ikr? .. do you go through the guilt thing later on?
@Ella_Rose, check out Mark DeJesus on YouTube. He also has a website www.markdejesus.com. I think his materials would be helpful ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, I'll surely check it out♡
I would highly reccomend the book “gentle and lowly” it has been a huge tool in healing how I see God. Here’s a little excerpt. Hebrews 4:15-16 (talks about how Christ is able to sympathize w/ our weaknesses) “Chris is inclined from his own heart.. to give us help and relief and he is inwardly moved during our sufferings and trials with fellow- feeling of them. If you are in Christ, you have a Friend who, in your sorrow, will never lob down a pep talk from heaven. He cannot bear to hold Himself at a distance. His heart is too bound up with yours.
Thanks a lot for the recommendation I'll check out this book I feel like the more I'm connected to Jesus the more I wanna just leave this earth... lol I know I'm just a human with all my sins but it's just that I'm done living as a human being
@Ella_ Rose There is so, so much worth living for. People you love, people you’ve yet to meet, laughter, good food/ coffee (if you like coffee lol), seeing places in the World, the feeling when you accomplish something you’ve worked hard for, pets. I have also felt that way before and I’m telling you I’m so, so, so glad that I stayed to see better days, to see healing, to see hope & joy. Stay for the future version of yourself that will be so proud of how far you’ve come. 988 is national crisis hotline. You are so, so loved & important.💗
@Iceberg22 I'm really glad you stayed, and yes I do love coffee ♡
@Ella_ Rose Ahh coffee is the best!! I’m an iced latte & vanilla cold brew person😍
@Iceberg22 These ones are my favs! and I also keep trying other ones as well lol idk I love changing flavours ahaha
@Ella_ Rose Oh cool!! I usually stick to what I know, I should try some new ones! 🤣
Hang in there… there are very dark nights I our lives, but the pain/suffering may lead us towards the light!
Don't wanna sound suicidal or something... but maybe I just don't wanna be lead towards the light anymore
Hello guys
This is my first text
Hi
Hello
I'm Christian and I struggle with being close to god a lot but lately I just feel like I will never near a full relationship with god because of this not only that my heart physically hurts because I think about how I want god to allow me to get married and have kids but I don't think that's his will for me I feel like it will never happen and my heart hurts thinking about it and even if god does allow that blessing to come my way l'm afraid I'm going to end up hurting my husband or committing adultery and I'm afraid how he would react to my past and old relationship and ocd I don't think it will ever go away not because I don't think god is powerful enough I know he is I just think he wants that to be my story for the glory of his name and because it keeps me close to him idk I just my heart hurts thinking about not being married and not having kids but l'm trying to accept that in case that isn't his will for me it just really hurts my heart physically im thinking of starting therapy but im scared it wont do anything or God will get upset with me that I couldn’t do it with just him i got put back on pills and im gonna end up going back to therapy i get afraid of death and other things now idk I just don’t wanna upset god
I feel like I dont have control of what I say in my head that I feel like it's not me saying those things. I was trying to pray and I was cursing at God and the spirit and now I'm scared because I feel like it's me and not an intrusive thought. I have an appointment later and I was trying to pray about that in my head but now that I did that I feel like things will go wrong .
So, alot has changed. I'm Christian and currently believe we are in the end of times. It's changed my whole perspective on life. I quit my job and moved back in with family, starting to go to church, apologized to those I hurt except, one person who I talked to two family members and they told me to delete the message and with my other apology ( that i also believed was God telling me to confess in 2020) i lied at some parts because of shame and confusing myself most likely intentionally. I confessed everything to my dad and he says since i turned from it, repented, that i need to let it go and continue forward. Since then, my minds been saying that I'm outside of God's will and everything's gone down hill. I had also prayed that God exposed me and now it's like all this evil and wickedness that feels like it's coming out of my heart settles into my chest. I've prayed to God, worshipped to God, but thoughts and images of being sent to hell or my loved ones pops into my head and I've gone to sleep twice each night accepting the fact that because of me not doing so may have doomed me and my loved ones and I feel scared that I got so tired and stopped fighting it. I've had ocd since I was 7 but it just is so scary because it's hitting down to the wire and I'm scared that I was never a child of God at all I mean I have iniquity I thought I repented for but people I love still struggle with what I've done and I prayed for them and tried to help them and suggest therapy but I haven't did what I could to make it right like I should've. But these images and thoughts they're horrible. I feel like I'm against God truly and I'm like Lord change the circumstances and I won't resist so that I can preach Your word and everyday I feel like I'm gambling. It's like every thought is biblical for the most part. I don't want to kill myself cuz what if I have a chance that God will have mercy on me but....
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