Is it OCD, depression or both, anyone can relate?

Hello everyone, I'm not quite sure if this also fits into OCD, but something I've been struggling with for quite some time now is that every two weeks, I am reminded of the feeling of depression. This has been repeating for a while, and when I remember it, my mood immediately plummets. What makes me feel even worse in those moments is that I constantly check how I feel – am I now depressed, do I feel suicidal? I often bring up things like my children and try to see if thinking about them makes me feel less depressed or still just as suicidal. I have become so aware of this cycle now – about two weeks of feeling okay, then a few days of depression, and having to put in a lot of effort (forcing myself to think positively) to eventually reach a point after three weeks when I start questioning myself again: "Hmm, it's been two weeks, do I feel depressed and suicidal?" and then it happens again. During the depressive episodes, I find it incredibly difficult to put things into perspective. Each time, after two weeks, I feel depressed and suicidal again, it feels like I'm getting one step closer to my ultimate suicide attempt. It's like playing hangman – each depressive episode is like adding another mark until I'm hanged. I also get frustrated with myself because somehow I can't find motivation from the fact that I have two young children and need to be there for them. In those down moments, I can't see it anymore, and the only logical step seems to be moving towards suicide. I'm unsure how much of this is OCD and how much of it is actual depression. Why does it come back every few weeks? Is it a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy?

McDucko

Date posted: 2y

OCD can encourage Depression and vice versa. A good treatment regiment will include ways to treat the depression too. My depression during relapses is rooted in me listening to OCD and taking what it says to heart, so to combat that my therapist engaged some CBT exercises to change my negative behavior cycle. Just like how OCD has a core fear, depression probably has a core cause which needs to be addressed. What you are also doing is checking. By checking how you feel you are acknowledging that OCD has a hold on you. Your best bet is to not even react to how OCD makes you feel with thoughts. No reaction at all is needed and will probably make you feel better. This is a very hard thing to accomplish because we're brought up trying to understand our thoughts. If you are seriously contemplating anything I'd ask that you see a psychiatrist immediately and get in a steady regiment of medications. SSRIs have been a godsend for me and I have virtually no symptoms aside from the occasional headache. If this is a much more urgent matter please voluntarily check yourself into a mental health facility. This is difficult and as much as you don't want to believe it life is better with you here regardless of whatever is bothering you. Take it from someone who let OCD convince them thag they were worthless. Please always hang on to hope. There is virtually no criteria you need to fulfill to justify pursuing a happy life. Wishing you luck! Hang in there!

emmagcrey

Date posted: 2y

@McDucko Thank you :) which SSRI helped you if I may ask? I’m on the second week of lexapro

McDucko

Date posted: 2y

@emmagcrey Luvox. You should really give the Lexapro about a month and a half to work. Luvox was really slow to onset and increasing the dosage always made OCD worse for about 2 weeks. It eventually levels off, but that's how SSRIs seem to work (at least for me).

strugglebusman

Date posted: 23w

Relapse with OCD and depression

Just wanted to jump on here and express how I have felt lately. The past 5 to 6 months have been pretty excruciating. I conquered OCD 5 years ago and for some reason, it has slipped back and took over my life again. More so the depression that came along with it. Is there anyone else out there that has returned to rock bottom where they once fully climbed themselves out of?

justtrynamakeit

Date posted: 22w

POCD - Week of Hell

So I was doing good for about 5 months. I was going to therapy, practicing the skills, and for about the past month, I fell into a depression funk. The last week, however, has been a week of really loud OCD. I am in a constant state of anxiety and find myself doing compulsions. I'm wondering if anyone has experienced what I'm about to describe. I'm considering taking myself to the hospital, but my little boy's birthday party is this weekend and I don't want to miss it: I keep having this bad feeling like I actually want to do the bad things in my mind. I know OCD intrusive thoughts can tell you "I want to" but this just seems different - maybe it's OCD trying to come at me a new way. It's not like thoughts telling me "I want" it's like even when I tell myself I don't want to do the bad stuff, there's this nagging feeling telling me I really want to. I'm scared.

Anonymous2212

Date posted: 21w

False Memory/ ROCD

I am diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, and mild depression. But my OCD symptoms are so prominent in my daily life where it feels debilitating. It comes in waves, there will be months with very minor symptoms and other times where it comes in random hitting me like a truck making me rethink life. I grew up having intrusive thoughts of all types, and a lot of them sent me over the edge because I couldn’t understand why things of such sort would cross my mind, things that I’m sure to this day that I’m incapable of or would never want to actually do. Yet I find myself in a constant cycle of trying to dig deep in the past and trying to figure out if I ever acted on any of the intrusive thoughts I can remember, yet ofc have no recollection of acting on them because they most likely didn’t happen. However, not having concrete proof of these things makes me not want to see another day sometimes. It is so hard to move into daily basis like this. I’m also in a happy healthy relationship and sometimes I get these thoughts of “what if I’ve done something awful during the relationship (for example, cheat, dishonesty, etc.) and can’t remember?” I know I would never do anything intentionally to harm my relationship and I think that maybe the idea of not having my partner sends me down a rabbit hole to think all these things. This mental fight is getting harder and harder. It feels unbearable. Does anyone have some fruit for thought, relate, or have any tips?

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Is it OCD, depression or both, anyone can relate?

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