- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Well, not being sure is a hallmark of ocd. ? It probably will take some time to equilibrate and get a better sense of reality. In other words, your feeling right now doesn't necessarily characterize reality or even how you will feel in the future. I know it's really really uncomfortable and painful, but maybe let the feeling sit there for a bit and realize you will deal with it in due time.
- Date posted
- 5y
It's possible and consistent with random chance. As an example, people with ocd about contamination almost certainly do get sick sometimes despite their rituals. It's trivial then to associate getting sick with a failure of some ritual.
- Date posted
- 5y
There have been times I've also felt like I could never be the same again. On probably like 20 separate occasions. But I was always wrong. Feelings can really bad indicators of reality, especially for people with an anxiety disorder.
- Date posted
- 5y
Terrifying feelings come and go. We usually can't make them disappear right away. Sometimes it's better to just accept their existence and think about what productive things there are to besides focusing on the fear. Like maybe eat some nice food. Or chat with a friend. You don't have to figure everything out right away.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey ?? i hope that what I’m going to say doesn’t come out as giving you reassurance, but I commented on your last post, and like I said, I have a similar type of ocd as yours, and this has happen to me before a couple of times, in fact, something happened today. While I was having an intrusive thought and trying to resist doing a compulsion, one of the light bulbs in my bathroom went out, and yes, it totally freaked me out, but after the anxiety passed, I came to this conclusion: ok, that would’ve happen even if I wasn’t having that intrusive thought. I know that at the moment it may seem like a sign, but they’re just really f***ed up coincidences, just think that the weird thing that happened to you, was going to happen even if you gave into your compulsions.
- Date posted
- 5y
That's prof that things happen regales of rituals you have prof the rituals don't do shit
- Date posted
- 5y
Are you actively working on treatment? Do you have someone to talk with who is more knowledgeable about your circumstances?
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm supposed to start seeing my therapist again Wednesday. I'm not sure if it's coincidence, that's how crazy it is, it literally feels otherworldly right now. I don't know how to describe it. It's not the first time I've experienced a coincidence but this one was too weird.
- Date posted
- 5y
This isn't exactly what happened but this is the best way to a situation similar. Imagine you had ocd about your grandma dying. You go on YouTube and are recommended 3 videos about a grandma dying and get a call from the hospital that your grandma is in critical condition. That's what level crazy this is.
- Date posted
- 5y
Things you obsess about are probably going to show up in your YouTube or search suggestions... most likely you did some googling about whatever it was at some point. And grandmas are old and indeed at higher risk of dying compared with young people. The point is that there could be things you are overlooking because you do have OCD, and you're in such a heightened state of emotion. So maybe don't give too much reality to your instantaneous state of mind.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. To be clear I was using the grandma thing as a metaphor/ comparison of what happened. I'll check back in in a few hours.
- Date posted
- 5y
yeah, I got you! Just trying to use your example/metaphor to show how feelings can make you blind to reality in the moment. It's happened to me a lot before. Looking forward to hearingfrom you again later ?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
My OCD has never been this strong, it's so real, it feels like it will never go away, it's never been this strong for me and it's very scary.
- Date posted
- 23w
My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.
- Date posted
- 21w
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
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