Regret of my past racist thoughts

Basically, when I was 14-16 I was very naïve and impressionable and had a family member that would just talk about nothing but alt right stuff to me, like how women have enough rights and how black people are the ones at fault I took this at face value believing alot of it, I remember saying something to my ex about something about the blm movement (my ex are mixed) and it made them so uncomfortable I bring this up because I hate how I believed all of this, I was being racist as hell and misogynistic, I deeply am ashamed of my ideas and thoughts of thinking what I was saying was genuine, I wish I never was told any of this, because before my sister said anything I didn't think any different of black people or women until she did I want to take it back

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

You were young and didn’t know better. Forgive yourself and move forward. You are not a bad person because of past thoughts. If ocd has you spinning in this a lot, this method may help: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/

Anonymous3544

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I’m so sorry. I posted recently too about feeling so regretful about the past. It’s hard. I don’t have an answer but just want to say I’m right there with you and am trying to just focus on the here and now. Also, my therapist said it’s not the past event that is the enemy now, it’s OCD and your feelings towards the event. That helped me a little bit.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

Yes we all have behaved in ways we wish we wouldn’t have. U know better now so just move forward ❤️

OCDEB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

chalk it up to being young and unaware. now you know and be proud that you now realize the error of that line of thinking. don't live in the past - move forward with what you know now !

vmpstr_

Date posted: 24w

past guilt

hi im experiencing a lot of anxiety and guilt right now. im 16 now but in the past i said many offensive bad things, slurs and racist jokes with my friends. it was disgusting and im not proud of this. I'd never say those stuff to an actual black people to idk make fun or shame them because im not actually racist, i could never hate another person just because their skin colour is different. but i did say disgusting stuff as "a joke" and i feel very guilty about this. I don't think i was always a bad person but for around two years i was just acting mean and pretty shitty. i wish i could turn back time, but that's not possible. i was talking about stuff I didn't have a clue about, i said n word just because "its just a word, it's not that deep!". but now i know it's really more than that. yet I can't move on. i keep thinking about it so much i want to throw up. I can't look in the mirror now i don't know what to do. lately im trying to become a better person, be nice to people close to me and just to finally feel good. but i feel like I don't deserve to change and i create scenarios that people will bring up my past when ill finally be a better person.

rainbows

Date posted: 19w

vent (any opinions or words would be appreciated.)

I think all of us have made mistakes, wether in childhood or teenage years and adulthood. I’ve made terrible mistakes when I was younger ( childhood ) and I’ve been regretting my actions and dealing with severe shame and guilt, I came out okay in the end and been the ideal kid I should’ve been when I was younger. I changed but hearing people like close family saying they would judge past mistakes and you’re allowed to judge, makes me feel horrible. because only if they knew…

Real Events OCD

Date posted: 15w

Past mistakes

When is a mistake too big to forgive. I looked at content that I really shouldn’t have (🌽)but I didn’t understand it was wrong at that time and with no parents supervision online . It happened in my teen like 14/15 and I’m so guilty. What makes it worse is that a small artist did something really similar and got cancelled and called disgusting . It is disgusting but I truly didn’t know how disgusting it is and if did I would’ve never done it . And it was worth cancelling her . But I did too so .

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Regret of my past racist thoughts

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