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Ella_ Rose

Date posted: 2y

Human Fuck'in Being

i have always wanted to talk about this but couldn't find the courage to.. I've a friend who was r*ped and she never told anyone about this This one time she vent to me and out of nowhere, she shared all that happened to her... no amount of comfort was enough for her and all I could do was cry with her.. This being said, after her vent, there's been this overwhelming fear in my heart A fear of 'what if' God forbade, this happens again ... to me or anyone else... Though I don't go out much but this whole thing is rooted in my mind, that I have started to live life in a cage... no going outside, no engaging in social events, keeping my distance from men (not generalizing) It has come to a point where i just don't wanna be in physical/emotional contact with anyone anymore

Anymous

Date posted: 2y

Anyways clearly 99% of people wouldn’t believe rape is wrong if that was the case there wouldn’t be as many rape victims as they are now I encourage others not to spread misinformation about sa cases

Ella_ Rose

Date posted: 2y

Exactly, everyday there's a new SA case in the news on TV, on my phone on news apps .. I see it here and there, people talking about it It's so awful how all of this is gotten out of hands and the fuck'in government wouldn't even give a death penalty to actually do something about this It's as if nobody cares...

Anymous

Date posted: 2y

Some people are just twisted and doesn’t care about other people and only themselves how one could do these evil acts I can’t say it’s a disgusting world we live in with evil people I would tell you to not be afraid but I can’t even do that honestly because how disgusting this world is I’m sorry that she had to go through that and I’m sorry that you had to hear that whoever did that to her I hope them nothing but the worst

vgb

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I’m so sorry

artsygirl

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I hear you’re struggling because ocd has latched onto a horrific situation. Make some goals for things you can do to get back outside because this can spiral quickly. You want to live your life and your values. Maybe you start small with sitting in your porch and then you take a walk and then a walk at the park and so on to get you back into society.

Ella_ Rose

Date posted: 2y

Whenever i say I'll start small and try to go outside, I always end up almost having a panic attack when put in a situation where there's people of my opposite sex more... It's so messed up to a point I don't even hang out with my male cousins anymore All these thoughts are just eating me alive

Related posts

str4berrycoo...

Date posted: 24w

how i deal with the "what ifs" (+18)

i feel like i have been posting a lot about this and i will try to stop since now but i just don't know where to start or what to do, and i can't take therapy right now either. my event is about something that did actually happen; i had a boyfriend and we had a 1.5 age difference (i know this sounds stupid) but the thing is that we both started to sext a lot since he was 14 and i was 15. we shared audios videos pictures ect and i don't know how to just let this go, even when i know that i never really forced him into anything and i was always constantly worried about him being comfortable, when to stop and ect. the memories keep coming back to my mind and the guilt is eating me up slowly because i keep thinking that i'm a predator or a groomer or something like that. i don't know how to deal with the what ifs either, lately i haven't stopped thinking what if i sexually harassed or sexually exploited him or something like that. how do i deal with the cycle of guilt and constant what ifs if i also feel like my event is worse than others i've seen? please help me with this. it's getting a lil tiring and even if somedays i know how to deal with this, i still get really triggered sometimes. this wouldn't even bother me before, i wish i could just get back in time before this theme popped into my mind. my life has been a hell since then and i live constantly scared and suicidal.

hi3456

Date posted: 22w

Huge tw I’m so scared I’m a r*pist people have told me I am. I wanted to lose my virginity when I was 19 I felt embarrassed and ashamed I hadn’t. I decided to get drunk and find someone in a club to lose it to. I don’t remember much other than I was happy it was finally happening and remember thinking my plan had worked. I was told by friends that the other person was drunk and possibly on drugs. I must be a r*pist as I knew what I was doing and instigated it, I took advantage and used someone. I feel sick and don’t deserve to move on I can’t even apologies as it was a complete stranger what if they’re living with trauma because of me.

Real Events OCD

Mitu_001

Date posted: 21w

Tw I am so scared

I am so scared of everything .Of my thoughts.If I am a good person.Years ago I didnt help a kid who was in danger.Since then I started to have terrible thoughts :( i am so terrified.I still have these thoughts and I am scared it means something about me .I really dont want to hurt anyone and I want to help that kid now but idk how I can now.Also I am scared I betray everyone.I still have terrible thoughts and when I am with someone I care is worse...idk why.For example I started to talk with a collegue and he is really nice to me.I told him some things abt me( not the intrusive thoughts) and he was supportive.I have no idea if I will tell anyone abt my thoughts..and bcs of that I feel like I lie to them and betray them.I really want to enjoy my life and be happy and support people( especially because I didnt help that kid then).I want to live up to my morals now but I feel like I lie and manipulate people bcs I am a monster.Is this normal? To feel this way? What can I do? What if I am my worst fear and just cant accept it?!

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