I feel so stuck this time. I get flare ups each year and this feels like the worst. I had confidence before that I'd be able to heal but now I'm doubting myself. I feel so much pain. Why does this feel so much harder?
I been following your post here and you have always give great advice. Dont fold bud you can overcome this.
I think about this all the time. I overcame previous themes SO easily. I let go of them because I KNEW what the reality was, so it didn’t stick around and daunt me. Existential OCD has been THE worst because I don’t have answers or facts to reassure me… current life circumstances can also be a reason why you’re not able to shake it. OCD tends to get worse when we are dealing with REAL life stressors. Just keep doing the ERP and avoid those compulsions.
What’s you subtype?
I'm ruminating on events of my life. They're so long ago that they're pretty distorted so a lot of it is just guesswork or assumptions. I know there's no real difference but I was really dumbstruck since I've never had a false memory attack before.
I'm in the same boat. I feel like I've been through hell and back so many times and the last time I thought I was pretty much healed. But here I am again and now I feel hopeless and stuck.
I've been in a similar state for weeks so you have my sympathy mate. I just can't stop the thoughts, it's a constant stream. The checking and ruminating is constant.
I was fine for a week. I was making great progress and I'm worse than I started.
I experience something similar due to childhood abuse, there’s just a LOT my brain can pull from to terrorize me. Sometimes I cry/mourn it, sometimes I tell myself it’s in the past and yeah it was horrific but I’m not there now, I’m here now and what’s ‘here now’ need because then doesn’t need me. Not telling you what to do of course just sharing what I do for mine! There’s also a theory that in dealing with yourself about yourself that it’s not linear, it’s a spiral so think of it in gaming terms. You got further up the staircase and this is a Big Boss but you’ll use all your tools and heck maybe find a new one to defeat this thing.
Same boat man. Keep fighting you aren’t the only one
You'll feel like "the thoughts I had before were better and I could easily get out of" but trust me you don't want any old thoughts
No, you're definitely right. I'm much better at dealing with the pain now, but this is still so messed up.
I totally feel the same way. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m making progress with my compulsions, just to find out that what I was trying didn’t work and now I’m starting over 🙄😢.
I appreciate all the input. Maybe it just comes down to me needing to be more resilient in the face of change. My themes kept changing before and I shouldn't expect them to not throw me a curve ball. Still, last night's episode has made me feel really depressed and I need to find a way out of this.
I’m 52 and I think it is definitely harder to deal with the anxiety the older you get
Makes sense to me. I used to stare obsessions in the face, now I'm paralyzed by even the simplest issue.
I am totally in the same boat, the only thing that ever gives me hope is knowing how hopeless I once was, when I thought recovery was impossible and I managed to pull myself out of my ocd spiral and lead a normal happy life. Right now everything is screaming in me that the worst is happening but I hold on to that shred of faith as I push forward. Wishing you the best… this too shall pass.
I feel you so hard on this! 6 months ago, I had just spent a ton of time doing ERP and taking back my life from OCD. I tend to idolize that time a lot in my head because I was doing so well. I got a steady job, rekindled my relationship with God, and began pursuing my passions. However, once I got into a relationship in May, my OCD caught me off guard and kicked into overdrive. Scrupulosity and ROCD are the main themes I've been dealing with for 3 months now. it's been so difficult, and some days I wonder if it's even worth it to keep going. I feel ashamed I haven't improved as quickly as I did in the past. But I know I can't give up on myself, and I can't give up on my wonderful girlfriend or on God either. it's a battle, but each week it gets a little easier. Keep fighting my friend!
I’m experiencing the same thing. I think a couple of things are to blame, for myself at least. 1. Age. Coming off of anxiety is much tougher the older you get. 2. The further away from my last recovery I get the easier it seemed. The past me would club me upside the head if I told him he had it easier.
I can relate. Been through many setbacks. Each one I thought was worse than the previous. However looking back they all evenly sucked. There were a few where I was “ready to come home“!!! Those were my “foot prints in the sand moments” and I’m still here. In my journey I’ve come to know other mental health fellowships that have provided me tools to help me. I use these sayings as part of my ERP practice: Setbacks pave the way for comebacks. What I’ve done in the past I can do again. I can strive for perfection but know it doesn’t exist. Feelings are not facts.
Those of you in recovery.. what does it look like? How often do you have flare ups? I went through therapy here for about 6 months, I’m on medication. I just feel like I’m stuck in such a cycle of feeling normal-ish for 2-3 weeks then feeling bad for a couple of weeks. Woke up this morning and am feeling super anxious for no reason. 😭
I’ve been doing fairly well the past 3 weeks, I finally came out of a bad episode. The past couple of days I can feel it coming back on again and I just don’t know how to deal with it. It always seems like it has to get so debilitating before it can feel easier again but I just can’t keep getting to that real low point every single time. Any advice?
A month ago I was feeling so good, i was im a recovery journey, i had some bad days but then i was able to see it as a good thing. Now for 2 weeks now im on a setback and its worse day by day, now i cant even escape from my mind, i was able to see through all of this, and now this is the complete inverse of that... I cant even go back to see what i did so i do the same again to feel better but my I keep thinking that i just think i kept getting better, i was blinded by the good feelings, actually i was still obsessive, and i cant do the same things again cause it will not help... i feel alot of shame cause how I was felt so good for weeks and see through ocd and now i believe everything my mind says and i react to every thought...thats why i think i wasnt even on a good path, then i wouldnt be here. Im tired of always go back to the starting point...
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