i feel like with ocd comes a feeling of emptiness and the thought that i don’t deserve love. i get so caught up in who doesn’t like me i can’t see the people who appreciate me and i just circle everything around why they don’t like me and who doesn’t. i feel unloved. it’s a thought that just lingers. why would anybody ever love me, what’s to love, and my mind truly runs blanks.
I feel very isolated and unloved because of my OCD too. I have often felt like it’s my own fault when relationships don’t work out and it has stopped me from trying to form new relationships thinking it’ll turn out the same. I try to think about the other person’s perspective being like mine. I love the people in my life even when they are not perfect, so why would they not love me if I’m not perfect. It’s hard not to give in to the thoughts in the back of your mind though.
Self-compassion is, at its basic form how you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself. It is the ability to recognize how you would acknowledge a loved one who is experiencing the same thing as you. How would you treat that person, in their most vulnerable state? Would you answer harshly and with criticism, or would you wrap your arms around them and comfort them? Would you point out all of their shortcomings and flaws, or would you remind them of their strengths and attributions? Would you be stern and demeaning or would you be gentle and kind? We often can recognize the power of our words and presence with others, yet we fail to truly appreciate our own ability to do the same for ourselves. You are just as deserving of kindness and compassion as anyone else. No one is perfect. I think that when you have OCD you become a pro at internalizing all of the worst possible case scenarios about ourselves- we have to remember that just because we think something doesn't mean it is true. Even if people don't like us- that doesn't mean something is wrong with us- maybe something is wrong with them? But why do we jump to the conclusion that we are bad- that's the OCD talking.💛
OCD can try and take away the experience of giving yourself compassion. OCD tries to control you and wants you to continue to feel guilt, shame, and blame yourself. OCD doesn’t like when you practice compassion towards yourself because it loses its powerful grip on your life when you do. When you practice self-compassion you are facing your fears head-on, working through these, and building confidence in your ability to feel difficult emotions and work through these. This allows you to quit fighting the things that torment you. Self-compassion will not cure the fear, it will not take away the discomfort. It will however help you to allow the discomfort to be there and be gentle with yourself so that you are not in a constant state of trying to flee fear and discomfort. It allows you to understand that you are capable and that you can survive this. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-importance-of-self-compassion-when-you-have-ocd
Specialty-trained, qualified, and licensed OCD specialists can help you to move towards your values and learn to be kinder, and gentler with yourself. A successful exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapist will guide, support, and motivate you. They will not only show you empathy and compassion but more importantly, they will guide you to show yourself these things. If you have any questions about starting ERP therapy or need more information about the treatment, please don’t hesitate to book a free 15-minute call with our care team.
Our Care Team will typically begin with a free 15-minute call to discuss treatment, answer any questions you have, and book your first appointment. Please feel free to schedule a convenient time that works best for you here: https://learn.nocd.com/scheduler
I feel completely unlovable. I have a difficult time getting close to people because of my OCD and I have to force myself to not compulsively seek reassurance. I feel like I’ll never find my person. I’m worried I’ll be an awful wife because of my inability to do anything. I want to show up for my partner, but I feel stuck because of my OCD. I think it’s safer to just be alone.
OCD can be an incredibly lonely experience, especially when people around you don’t understand the thoughts and fears you’re facing. But you’re not alone—others have been there too. What’s something about OCD that makes you feel isolated or alone?
Makes me feel lost. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.
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