Guys if it will be like this forever then it s*cks

I just get better then i get to something new and im back again feeling the same, reacting the same way... i was feeling okay, then the days started to feel boring so i went to my head and then i got ocd again... then we went to a vacation to the beach and bc of the trip i got so anxious, now im having the same emotions and thoughts as i had years ago and the same reactions, maybe slightly better cause im not depressed but i start to have enough of this, and im not the person i used to be, that self confident, knowing what i want to do and focusing on myself... i dont know where to start, what to do for recovery, everytime i get here i forget the steps, and everything i do is rummination or avoidance... I feel like i dont want to recover, but i know thats not the case, im just avoiding the pain cause i know i have to face fear but without the tools i just make myself sensitized and sick...theres a differece between pushing yourself to the fear without knowing anything and facing the fear with the tools you learned... well i forget it everytime and i react the same way i did before... and after time it start to feel annoying to search for the tools again and again and it even happens that the same tools that helped before somehow doesnt help now and i just worry and avoid the feelings... What i heard from some people who had ocd is that they still deal with it, they just use the tools, sometimes its easy but when life stresses you,you fall back and you react again.. So if my whole life will be like this,that I face something new, then i get triggered, i react the same way then i have to learn everything again, and i lose myself,lose my dreams, then it s*cks...Before i wanted to be a musician, i felt like i found my passion,but now when i try to think about it i doesnt feel anything...doesnt feel that passion and happy feeling about it and if i try to push myself into it i start to get emotional... i thought that someday this will end and i will get stronger, i will get able to face new things but im just getting back to the same thing...losing my self confidence everytime...

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

From your post, I think you are so overwhelmed. If you see a therapist maybe you can ask for advice on strategies in regard to the boredom antecedent and “in the moment” forgetfulness challenges. If you have a cell phone with you a lot maybe that can be a resource (like a note app). I also struggle a lot with forgetfulness as well! So I want you to know you are not alone in that.

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

Decades of OCD..confused about my next steps!!!

I have had ocd for decades! Could I still be cured???? (Of you can call it that?) I have seen different therapists but it never had fully left me...not by any stretch of the imagination. I do want to be free of this ocd and its power over me and all the bad that it brought into my life!!! Some days I am strong and feel like I am fighting it put other days...many days...I don't get things done or if I do I take a long time to-do the things I need to get done. I feel like I know this is just then ocd stopping me and that these are just thoughts but nobody in my family understands and though they have shared my journey and hated it a I do.....it just feels like I want so bad to be the best person I coukd be but I avoid places, people, things, that have any reminder of my ocd.......and so it restricts me from getting better and completing tasks the way I used to. Now UI might go and make 2-3 trips cuz I am worried to shop at a place and therefore it takes my time up. The avoidance I do is bad! When I actually don't listen to my ocd and don't avoid something...I feel great! ,However, it happens so rarely!!! I.dont know how finding a therapist through NOCD will help me. It is not in person and two be honest I almost think I need medicine to push me along. I don't have anybsteady and consistent improvements. However, I don't think I want to be on medication for the rest of my life! I am very confused!

anonymous2580

Date posted: 22w

Does it really get better?

I’ve been dealing with ocd my whole life, and just got diagnosed about a year ago. I feel my days becoming occupied with thoughts, urges, fears and worry that completely debilitate me. It’s getting to the point where i feel like it’s taking over my life. I don’t see this getting any better, even with the therapy and medication I’m on. I’m scared my life will be like this forever, I’m tired. My brain is tired of ruminating every second of every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I’m not sure how much longer I can go on like this.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 20w

Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only

Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.

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Guys if it will be like this forever then it s*cks

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