- Date posted
- 2y
Troubled Feelings
Context: Hello, I'm Non-binary and go by They/ Them pronouns. ive never been diagnosed with OCD, but do relate to a lot of the syptoms. I am here to help and better understand myself, so please be patient and kind with me. Hello, this post may be a little on the sadder end, so read at your own digression. I feel so lost, so trapped, so scared all of the time. i feel as tho i will never escape my own thoughts or seeking for reassurance from them. i never want to like these thoughts and dont. at the same time, i dont know why i find comfort in hurting this way. i want to get better, and live my life without fearing what these thoughts tell me, but at the same time it feels like i cant live without them. who am i if im not hurting? if im not scared, will i hurt people? logically, i know who i am. i dont hurt people, i do know who i am, and want to be that person again. i was once so loud, bold, a bit blunt at times, kind, laughed til my stomach hurt, confident, etc. i feel none of that now. i feel almost nothing anymore except constant pain and agony. im always waiting for the next mental break down. "How many times will i cry today?" is always the question i ask myself. Will i ever get better? Will i learn to lead a happy life again without these thoughts and needing to feel hurt? Will I be ok?