- Date posted
- 2y
How to stop obsessing and comparing?
How to stop feeling overshadowed and comparing myself to this girl? There’s this girl in my friend group that I notice stares at me from time to time but she treats me now kind of like I’m nothing. She used to approach me but now, she acts somewhat cold and aloof when I initiate. She acts different around others. It seems so personal. She made a flirty comment at my bf. Idk if this counts as flirty but when he went to go help out my roommates with a tapestry. As he went to help out, she was sitting next to me and said “atta boy ;)” in a flirtacious way. He didn’t hear but I did and it was awkward. I was at my bf’s place and went to go say hi to my friend (somewhat friend but she’s friends mainly with bf’s roommates) who was watching a movie with one of his roommates on the couch in the living room. They were watching one of my fave movies and I shared how much I love the film. Her response was that she agreed, but then she kept glancing at me. There was nothing next to me but a wall. She just kept glancing silently while I was watching the movie. Idk if this was just in my head but it felt real. I felt her staring and I’m curious if it’s because I’m annoying and interrupted the movie by joining in or what else. She still stares from time to time. I’m friendly and nice towards her, but she acts like I’m just not interesting enough. She’s still polite but it’s like I’m nothing really. She acts open and excited and talkative with others but when I’m that way towards her, it’s dulled down. She also somewhat excludes me in groups. Idk if on accident because I’m forgettable or on purpose. I caught her giving me a mean up and down look once. I catch her staring at me from time to time. When I told everyone about me getting a job interview, they cheered except this one girl response was that someone she knew had that job and didn’t like it. It made me question if I should go through with it or not. Ever since the flirting thing, I’ve been trying to avoid her at work. I automatically feel overshadowed and I end up acting small and quiet. Me and her work together which we were at a potluck for our job and our coworkers started complimenting my jacket and she just stood there quietly staring in a serious way. When it was time to take a group picture, I posed playfully and everyone laughed. Her response was, “Wow she is so feminine and all” in a mocking tone. I didn’t see her reaction if she was mocking or not but it sounded like it… She’s usually the life of the party and people love her. Ever since the presumed flirty remarks at my bf, I’ve been hesitant about being around her. I’m just that weak of a person . It’s like whenever I’m around her, I feel small and it could be not her fault. I’m just insecure. No one seems to want to be around me but they wanna be around her. I feel like I’m no fun. I’m either annoying or boring. There was this one moment where at a meeting, we all had to share our concerns and questions about our role at the job. It was my turn to share and I ended up crying saying I didn’t feel like I fit in. She grabbed my hand and told me that I light up the room whenever I walk in and other compliments about my character. Her other behavior still confuses me though. The flirty comment happened after this.