Recently, I opened up to my husband about my hocd and sought treatment. I was doing better and had some ocd free days which allowed me to see that my thoughts were all from ocd. But I just had an argument with my husband and he brought up my intrusive thoughts and he said he thinks they are real! I spiraled and I’m back at square one.
Firstly, remember that only you know they're false. If they were real, then why would you marry him? Ask him that next time this happens. I know logic and OCD don't go together, but you can give *him* some logical questions to answer. Two, I suggest trying again and to tell Jim to do some research on it if he really cares about your well being. If this doesn't help, try seeking marriage counseling if nothing improves. I'm not married, so you can choose to take my word or not, but I know that I have ICD too, and that your intrusive yhoughys are illusions. Stat safe and have a wonderful evening ✨️🩵✨️
I agree with the above! I would have him either research HOCD or have you present him with scientific articles on HOCD, and just OCD in general. OCD, from my own research and studies, is so much more vast than many people realize. If that isn’t enough for him, I suggest him being apart of one of your therapies with a therapist if that is something they would be able to accommodate. Most of the population, in my opinion, only view OCD as an obsession to clean or germs. They don’t even cover the other branches of OCD. Not that it is a competition, but I feel like OCD in general is a lot more “accepted” than HOCD, POCD, ZOCD and others along those lines, so it’s not talked about much. While I understand his worry, because it probably comes from lack of information, I understand why it would make you spiral and be back at square one. All this to say is give him information, have him do his own research and do therapy with you. After all that, if he still believes your intrusive thoughts are real and will hold it against you, I would rethink the marriage. That will only hinder you and your progress therapy wise if you don’t have a teammate who is going to be able to support you instead of throwing it in your face. Good luck ♥️
@Coop16 Thank you! You are right. I feel like it’s my fault for having ocd but I also know that if he uses ocd against me, then I will never recover 😔
@68273 I have never heard anyone say, “I want to have OCD” and you won’t probably ever here anyone say that. Saying that OCD is your fault is like saying that someone being allergic to peanuts is their fault. You can do this, with or without your husband. ♥️
When I explain it, I explain that the thoughts are ego dystonic and thought fusion isn’t real. Ego dystonic helps people understand that the thoughts are against what I wish and that’s why I dislike them and have anxiety. Thought fusion is when people conflate thoughts with morality or likelihood and there isn’t a basis for it. Or else all the little old ladies writing murder mysteries would be up to something! Or all the people buying lottery tickets would be rich. You can in fact remind him that just because he had a thought that ‘you are you’re ocd’ doesn’t make it real. And that can be lesson #1 for him.
@Anonymous I also don’t explain what my thoughts are around but that’s me. (Except to my therapist) They are all the same. They all stem from my anxious brain looking for certainty.
Thank you!
No worries✨️🩷✨️
Can he join you and meet your NOCD therapist? I understand why it’d seem “real” to people who don’t understand OCD (that’s what I thought too before I was diagnosed) so he just needs to educate himself.
@Honeyshark He has talked to my therapist but I still think he doesn’t accept it or at least he thinks that it’s an insecurity or something like that. It really makes me feel so sad because I don’t want to lose him but at the same time, I cannot get better if he makes the ocd worse by saying things like that
Hey guys, I hope you’re well! My names Matt, and OCD has struck me again 😂 When I was 10 years old I had to attend therapy as I was having excessive intrusive thoughts. P.s. I didn’t even know this was possible at the age of 10! I then completely forgot about it, until 2.5 years ago when I started experiencing ROCD. I really couldn’t understand why I was feeling/thinking this way however, I soon after remembered my struggles as a child and then realised my OCD had returned. Also, my mum has serious OCD so I guess that could be why too. I had a a really hard battle with my emotions and mood due to this however, the last 1.5 years had been really good and I managed it well. I got married and had the best day of my life. 3 months ago, a thought about having an affair in my head appeared, and BOOM, it’s back again. I’m struggling a lot right now however, I’ve accepted that this could be a re occurring theme throughout my life, and it’s time to learn to deal with it again. I’m back on medication and have started ERP therapy, so hopefully it’s on the up from here. I’m not here to list off my triggers and thoughts as this would be me seeking reassurance however, I’m here to show that recovery is certainly possible!
Every day my ocd makes sure there’s a new reason for me to stay trapped in my mind rather than being the mom I want to be that my kids need. Instead i’m stuck in my head depressed and pushing them away. The other day I was braiding my daughter’s hair like I always do and her hair is really long so when I get to the end of the braid I can see her butt in my peripheral vision and I looked down and I immediately got upset asking myself why did I look down?(the ocd has made me question everything I do now). I know it’s just because I was at the end of the braid and I just looked because I was already looking in that direction. A normal person wouldn’t even think twice about it. There was no inappropriate reason behind it at all but of course my ocd latched onto the situation and said I looked down because I wanted to look at her butt. I was so upset and said to myself “I don’t understand how the ocd started an intrusive thought because she was wearing baggy pants. I could understand if she had on tight pants and her butt was more noticeable” and the only reason I said that is because usually the only time my ocd starts intrusive thoughts telling me i’m looking at my daughter in a wrong way is when she has on leggings or a crop top or bathing suit ect. Now my ocd twisted what I said to mean that I like looking at her in tight pants. Nooo! That’s not what I meant but now the ocd won’t stop trying to make me believe that. I don’t ever look at my children in any inappropriate way. I hate this. I hate ocd and I can’t live like this anymore.
I feel like the worst kind of person and I am ruining my husband. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to change.
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