Im afraid to label everything i experience as ocd

I know it would be the best thing for recovery but i feel like its false to say every bad emotion or thought that we have is ocd... i would like if it would be true but it sounds unrealistic. Sometimes when i feel like i did something bad but im not sure, i get a strong feeling of guilt and beforeni would fall into that spiral of depression, i say its just ocd cause of the guilt feeling... but its normal that if you do something bad you feel guilt... so then i feel bad that maybe i avoid accepting that i did something bad and after that im afraid that im bad or what i did was bad and im trying to see if really is bad or its just my emotions, but that feels like trying to avoid accepting that i did something bad😅😅 I deal with alot of strange emotions and saying that every bad feeling i have is ocd... idk feels like im avoiding my feelings... But am i wrong? Is it really ocd ruling our emotions so we should count as ocd every negative emotion or reaction we have?

ReadyForImpr...

Date posted: 2y

I don't think you're supposed to label thoughts and feelings as OCD. My understanding is that would be more of a compulsion. Your feelings are just feelings. Thoughts are just thoughts. If they're intrusive, you don't have to engage with them.

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

Yeah thats understandable too I misunderstand when people say ocd attacks your values. Is that means that you have thoughts against your values like "i want to harm someone" or it can be something like you value being kind and ocd makes you feel bad when you werent kind with someone... or is that the normal bad feeling cause you didnt do what you value and you dont want to be bad with poeple. Im wondering this cause someone told me i have to stop be kind and have no expectation cause its all ocd... so wait me being kind its not even me? Its ocd? Im not kind cause i value that, im just kind cause im afraid of expectation?

ReadyForImpr...

Date posted: 2y

@PRIV8 Ohhh I see what you're saying. So, I think more than one of these can be true at the same time. I'll use the example of kindness (coincidentally, I have this in common with you). My intrusive thoughts are often contradictory to my value of care and kindness - I struggle with harm OCD, over-responsibility, and moral scrupulosity OCD. The thoughts are like "what if you're a bad person pretending to be a good person", "you want bad things to happen to others", "you're not actually kind, you just want to seem better than other people", etc. That's one way OCD attacks my values. Another way though, is that I compulsively make sure I'm extra kind. Even when a situation doesn't call for it, or being neutral makes more sense. I sometimes overcompensate or feel obligated to be kind when normally I might be guarded or not engage (like if someone is pushing their values on others). I don't want people to feel rejected but I don't want to support them, I'll default to kindness or avoidance. When you feel guilt about not being kind or being somewhat unkind, that can be genuine but it might also be exaggerated due to OCD. The point is that your feelings are what they are. How you choose to handle them will depend on the circumstances and how strong your OCD is at the time. ERP where you don't go out of your way to be particularly kind may help. You don't have to be unkind, mind you. I've done ERP where I don't hold the door for someone (just let it go as if you didn't see them and not apologize) or not thank the person at the drive thru or not be overly friendly to a cashier. Nothing that goes against my values- I wouldn't be outright mean, rude, or harmful, but not make much effort to be kind. Just being neutral.

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

@ReadyForImprovement But doesnt this just makes me be unkind? Using the exemple of holding the door for someone, i do that automatically, cause thats how i grew up... Its normal for me to be kind, i become more aware of this when i decided that i want to be kind with sensitive people. When i had the worst ocd days, people who claimed that they are kind and helpful where judging me why im being so sensitive, and i didnt felt any support, i just got told what im doing wrong... and stop being senstive... we are emotional beings,that doesnt mean we should let emotions lead us,but as an ocd sufferer i understand that unfortunately we let our emotions control us. Telling someone what they do wrong and stop being sensitive doesnt always help, being kind and nice and make the other person understand whats the problem kindly so he/she understands it is the key... So thats when i decided i will be nice with people but my other part is a funny guy and im afraid that i will offend these sensitive person, or what you said, im afraid people will see that im not an inteligent kind soul as what i show, but im another unkind unrespectful *ss... This fear comes from the past where i was sure that people think im that...Everytime i thought they think that im a toxic big ego...

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

I see that the trying to see if i did something bad or that in afraid that im bad, thats ocd, but before that, the first negative feeling is that too?

dee012

Date posted: 25w

Feels like idk myself:(

A little sad and down. I just feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I grew up with trauma, made mistakes, dealt and still deal with hyper sexuality, and my ocd is so bad. All of this makes me feel tainted, like a weird bad person. I hate being around people and even talking to therapist bc I feel like ive successfully fooled them. Also, I recently saw a POCD hate train on TikTok so now I just feel like a fraud. I get all these thoughts and feelings that im just using ocd as a mask because I actually am a bad person.. and that im some sicko or something, and also my brain tells me and I go back and forth with myself about “oh you just have morals because you don’t want to be shunned from society, and if you were to have no rules you would do disturbing things” and I know I wouldn’t, because I have morals now that are ingraved into me…I just want a normal life. I just want to feel normal. I tend to feel useless in this world, when I really want to do good things but I feel tainted and like I taint this world. I try not to let this consume me but it’s hard.. If you read this thank you. I know I am just in a funk right now but sometimes I wonder if it will be a forever funk… or that I need to “accept” im a bad person so that I can move on… which I won’t bc even if I am (maybe maybe not… I will never know with ocd) I wouldn’t want to be.

PRIV8

Date posted: 24w

Being sick makes my symptoms worse

I got a virus, alot of people is sick now, this is another bog virus, i dont know the name, but i talked someone who told me that its normal that this virus attacks your nervous system, and brings up the things we are the most sensitive. I wrote a post before that i had really scary thoughts about maybe i will die tomorrow or i can die anyday, i feel like thats was a sign of that cause now im finding myself being so sensitive about this and also im afraid of depression, suicidal thoughts and feeling hopeless. The biggest problem is that i dont know how to label them,if i say maybe im actually dealing with depression, and i need to work on these dark thoughts then i feel anxious and freak out that im having depression and deep thoughts and then feel shame cause i use fear to hide from a problem which i should take seriously, but if i say its not true, i feel like im lying and not working on my mental health... but these dark hopeless feelings feel so real and the thoughts too, and i know this sounds really ocdish cause everyone says this, but it doesnt feel like the ocd symptoms i have. It seems like ocd is more about me not accepting that im depressed or feeling hopeless which makes me feel guilt more cause that sounds like i just dont want to accept that im actually depressed. Im really afraid that these thoughts and feeling means i have an actual problem, and im actually going through depression. My ocd can be about depression too but i heard from someone that many people with ocd doesnt want to accept that they are depressed and thats the problem, so this makes me feel bad that i have to accept that this is an actual problem. Also with grief, i have a fear over grief cause i think i cant deal with it, and i always has thoughts like "you didnt grieved well" and it makes me really sad and afraid that i will never get out of grief... Whatever i do i feel stuck cause if i accept im going through depression and these thoughts are something i need to work on i just feel worse... I dont know what should i do about this, view it as something i need to work on or its just ocd and the illness getting me where im the most sensitive...

Conquering_OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w

Knowing the difference

Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.

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Im afraid to label everything i experience as ocd

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