ever felt this way, too?

@armyvet yes, Compulsions to hurt loved ones or someone I don't know when I'm in public, intrusive thoughts, I can tell the truth and my mind wants me to believe that I just lied, headaches that won't go away with pills, I can't sleep , what I hear, whether it is music, noises, crimes that I see on tik tok or words, my mind repeats it over and over again, I can not stop complexing my belly, I get up anxiously and I go to bed with anxiety (like a bad feeling ), false scenarios, every day I ask questions on the networks about OCD, extremely depressed without wanting to, thoughts that "I'm never going to get out of this", and many more, etc. My compulsions are not to wash my hands or hit every part of my body to feel better. Mine are obviously something unusual that I myself don't want to do/have. & sooo much more

@armyvet & now currently, scared to “become a murderer” like a constant battle every day about it. Either scared to become one so I avoid anything that has to do with murdering. Either scared of that or I just scared to run across one :(

@armyvet I could also be laying next to my mom & my mind tells me you’re imagining her there, she’s not there. Or she’s not alive, she’s dead you just think she’s alive. LIKE ITS SCARY I hate it

@Sonia ☮️ Do you hold any grudges unforgiveness resement or hatred against anyone?

@Sonia ☮️ Sorry to hear of your pain and struggle. What do fear the most Or right now at least?

@armyvet well, a lot of ppl has hurt me. Since I was 8 yo. Been bullied, constant arguments with my biological mom, etc. I don’t specifically hold a grudge, but I haven’t healed from none of them.

@JordTheNord well like from my own being? I am currently going on a new school at a different place. Super nervous

@Sonia ☮️ Understandable. Change is difficult for all of us. Even good change sometimes is hard to accept. I guess from your OCD what do you fear? I guess that would maybe be your thought of “become a murderer”, so why do you fear that?

@Sonia ☮️ My heart goes out too you I send you a virtual 🤗 hug... yes the hurts from the past to now. We don't know how to heal the inner wounds. I be praying for you. I be back tonight I would send you a message and I would want talk more. I want you to walk healed and in total freedom from all this. I'm keeping my word in coming back.

@armyvet Thank you sm! God bless 💕

@Sonia ☮️ You welcome love you I love all people no matter just ask my co workers

@JordTheNord I feel like it’s a lot. Because, I’m also afraid that there would be a murderer at school to shoot the school. & that also gets me more nervous. Ever since I knew I had to start my whole life over basically, I just been worried then the OCD kicked in.

@Sonia ☮️ That is a lot! Getting out of routine definitely can set off OCD. There are non OCD ppl with the same thoughts as you though. They just don’t ruminate and go into a spiral with them like we do. What I’ve learned from OCD and actually many others with it is that a lot of our thoughts deal with questioning ourselves and we feel guilty and ashamed because we would not want those thoughts to be true or act on them. I know it’s easier said than done but hope that helps you know you are and will not be a murderer. And a school shooter is terrifying but the likelihood of them happening is very rare however very unfortunate they happen anyways. The amount of schools there are and children to carry out the act of a school shooter is very very very rare. Now of course you have to just face the fear and go to school which changing schools probably isn’t helping you but maybe once you’re back in school you can get some stability. The constant change of your life is probably triggering your OCD. Because YOU DESERVE stability with yourself and the outside world

@JordTheNord I definitely think the big change triggered my OCD.. but when I adjust & be ok with the restart. My OCD still gonna be here :(

@Sonia ☮️ Hello there

@armyvet Hey!

@Sonia ☮️ How are you I just got home and my breaker was off I' got home to a very hot home lol keep it cool for me and my fur babies

@Sonia ☮️ How are you

@armyvet Lol I am ok, still feeling the same.. I prayed earlier for a specific prayer for intrusive thoughts & I felt good & protected, but it’s not gone :/ obviously not how it works, I just been super tired. I keep thinking like I am not gonna be on earth for 4+ years with OCD I just can’t do it I want it gone or at least better. I just can’t wait to see my psychiatrist

@Sonia ☮️ Your gonna make if I could make it I know you will make I would personally walk with you on this journey. What can your psychiatrist help you with that God can help you with. He formed and knit you all together and knew your name even before you were formed you

@armyvet I totally understand & I thank you sm fr! I just think, through my journey with god I can ask/ talk to him to help me with this mentally & psychiatrist is a big part on that. Yk?

@Sonia ☮️ That's true he can you in some areas but do you really trust God that's the question. I been on a journey in this life

@armyvet yk with OCD there has been a lot of doubts. & I go to church every Sunday .. yes I still do stuff & say that I shouldn’t be but it’s every day that I work on that or at least starting to. I do trust him, or maybe I want to but just don’t know how this journey works, which is what I’m working on each Sunday.

@Sonia ☮️ I totally understand from where you coming from. What things do you do. I can hear your heart thru the message. You want to overcome all of this I know you do I been there anxiety ocd suicidal thoughts... I know the ups and downs

@armyvet well, I am going to start some day bible studying. But what I do now is, paint, read books, go outside, go to church, be with my pet, my mom & dad.. yk just things like that. But In my brain there is something totally different going on :/ what’s even more scarier is that my OCD makes me feel like if I want these thoughts or have reason to feel the way I feel. Which makes me think, is there a demon because there is no way

@Sonia ☮️ All three things are awesome I encourage start a bible and let me know how is it going i want to know how is it going ok ☺ I found your first problem read the message slowly and carefully

@armyvet that I “some day” will start ? everyone tells me that. & I think it’s time to listen, I will. Starting tmr after my orientation at school .. I will read the Bible

@Sonia ☮️ I'm here for if you need help ... you said " that my ocd makes me feel " who said you had to make it yours. You took something and you called it " my"

@Sonia ☮️ Your in college

@armyvet ahh okay, I see .. well idk I just say my OCD since we all dealing with the same thing yk? & no I am not. I am 15, I think I said it wrong or something but I’m basically gonna meet my new school tmr & my first day is the 16

@Sonia ☮️ Ok that's cool well keep me informed in all your dealing. I wish we can keep in touch away from here but I'm older than you

@armyvet ok. thank you for taking your time with all this, very much appreciated.

@Sonia ☮️ I enjoy talking with you your a smart woman where are you from

@armyvet I am from PA

@Sonia ☮️ What do you do for fun

@Sonia ☮️ Awesome I'm in Tennesse

@armyvet okay that’s nice

@Sonia ☮️ What do you do for fun

@armyvet not much nowadays

@Sonia ☮️ You have a bf

@armyvet For almost 4 months now

@emilyvictoria I don’t listen to none of my compulsions, they are all to just hurt ppl :/

@lilithinio yea, at first that mindset helped me. But, to still have the horrific thoughts in my head. If they aren’t from me why is it happening to me.. yk? I just want a quiet mind.

@Sonia ☮️ Yes i truly understand that feeling, believe me with time those thoughts will come rarely, i believe in you, you will overcome that❤️

@lilithinio Thank you sm !

@Kilo2001 omg 😳, so scary. I just prayed, I feel so much better .. I cried. But obviously not gone.. it’s a start.

@JordTheNord @Sonia this article could help you. Also, our OCD might be with all of us for awhile. But we can and we will get ahold of it to where to does not freeze us or bring us down. You can do it. You are already doing a lot and are still here winning. It might not seem pretty but you are

@JordTheNord Thank you <3

@Sonia ☮️ My pleasure