Does anyone else screw up doing compulsions and now you’re scared something bad will happen? Like sometimes I mismatch my “safe phrases” in my mind, and they turn into an unfortunate pairing of words that only fuels the OCD to torture me more with “haha, see? you just said it, you meant it.” I’ll give an example for clarity (not a real one, to avoid triggering) Intrusive thought: You like that person Me: No, I did like them but now I- Intrusive thought: You DID??? You know what that means- Me: No! I meant to say I NEVER liked them, and I DON’T now!! It’s the biggest “And I oop-“ moment ever. (If anyone knows that meme lol). Just wondering if anyone else can relate.

I’ve had many types of OCD, but I gained control over them over the years, but a new one has started to arise. Do y’all ever have scary thoughts about something you might do? Recently I’ll get extremely uncomfortable no matter where I am because I can’t stop thinking about “what if I screamed really loud in my lecture class tomorrow?” And other stupid stuff like that. Also, this one is kind of funny, but sometimes when I use the bathroom I pause before because I think “what if I’m actually in class right now?” I also cannot control the thoughts about past embarrassing moments. I know everyone does, but I will become visibly uncomfortable and harp on something from years ago. This happens all throughout the day. Also, does anyone else do things that resemble tics when you get these thoughts. Like when they happen I’ll curse under my breath or like jerk my head a little bit. When I’m in public I keep it low key but when I’m alone sometimes I’ll physically get up and pace or something when those thoughts happen. Just curious if anyone has had these experiences

I hate this! so f-ing annoying! my brain gets over one “what if”, then goes onto the next immediately. It’s like my punishment for feeling and sort of peace or relief. for example, I did a compulsion yesterday trying to see if I did anything bad/inappropriate, I eventually got relief and was like I didn’t do anything bad but then today I did the compulsion one more time just to make sure and then I finally got relief and then my ocd latched onto the compulsion I did today and was like “what if u did something bad/inappropriate but don’t remember” like wtf. this JUST happened. it feels like i forget things immediately!!! Idek if this makes sense im just venting this is so annoying

This is really complicated but it isn’t just intrusive thoughts, however I didn’t directly do the prayer. I’ll do my best to explain. I’ve been having an obsession over prayers. There have been a few bad prayers I’ve almost done and meant that are not good. A week and a half ago, I was feeling desperate and I had the genuine urge to pray for my parents to die in a way which somehow wasn’t my fault (I couldn’t be morally responsible for the prayer was another condition too), because if I attempted suicide, it would devastate them. Thankfully, I stopped myself, but that mindset stuck. If I was worried about it, it could actually put me back in that mindset where I wanted to pray for it. I know this sounds crazy. So it followed me around sometimes. OCD has found loopholes to actually doing the prayer. I have prayed to pray for certain things, meaning I am indirectly praying for it. This was sort of like that, except my mind designated that blinking while thinking of it a certain way would be a prayer. To me, this actually meant it was a prayer because of magical thinking. I ended up blinking while thinking of this, and I did regret it right after, but in that moment, I meant it. I essentially blinked during that moment to magically agree with and do the prayer. And to me, it was doing the prayer. I meant it while doing this too, but didn’t care afterwards. To me, stepping back, it does feel different than directly doing the prayer. This probably doesn’t make much sense