- Date posted
- 2y
Does free will of being, of nature exist?
Does the free will of "the self", that is not being predestined from birth but choosing yourself who to be, exist? Free will over actions exists but what about of "being"? The very existence of psychopaths and "the monsters" that haunt us because we are afraid of our nature being like theirs, is responsible of the fear of being something that you don't want to be; to be in denial, to have the nature of a monster just because you were born that way. If the monsters didn't exist, if they weren't labelled as being born with mental illnesses (which triggers me because they would be put in the same category of mental illnesses like ocd), if the monsters did what they did simply because they chose to do those things themselves and not because of the need to satisty an unchangeable nature of something that came at birth, then things would be better. Because then there's the free will of "being", of "nature", and people would be evil because they chose to do evil things, and not because they were born like that, with a perversion. I would feel better that way. But we all have free will over our actions, and there is no excuse in the world that can justify disgusting abominable crimes. If nobody were born with evil, with a perverted nature, like having a sick evil attraction for ____ like many monsters have, then I would be assured because then I simply choose not to commit evil deeds because I simply chose to be a good person. Because I had a choice in everything. But if I were born as a monster, nothing i did would matter in the etichal plane because I was born with the nature of a monster, even if I chose not to do evil deeds, nothing would change the nature of the monster, and I wouldn't be able to tolerate and accept that. To be born evil, with a perverted mind, and to be in denial all along, that is my biggest fear. So I wish everybody was born neutral and everybody had free will not only in action, that anybody has, but with "the self", with the nature of the mind and of the being, having the free will of not being born as an evil, the free will of the "ethical-self" and the "ethical nature", so ultimately you choose yourself to have the nature of good or evil, not predestined by forces outside of your control. But then, nobody chooses to be born in a poor or rich family, with dignified circumstances or not. It's all just luck. Life is not just. So if luck is the same criteria in which someone is born good or evil (talking about the free will of nature and being, not of action) it terrifies me that I could be born good or evil simply because of luck. And if luck is 50/50, I'm afraid of it not being the good one. Of the possibility that I was born evil and that nothing could change it, even if I never commit bad deeds and I do good, I wouldn't be able to live knowing that I was born with the nature of a monster. So if it amounts to luck, I hope that the unluckiness that I received is just OCD, and not something else, more wicked and abominable. I hope I'm not in denial and that I just have ocd and that i don't actually think and believe those bad stuff and i don't have those perversions that my brain tries to convince me that i have with those intrusive thoughts.