ishdh.2
- Date posted
- 2y
OCD is so paradoxical
I want to stop feeling anxious. But I need that anxiety to make sure I know I don’t like the thoughts I have. I’m so tired of it
hen7hen7
- Date posted
- 2y
Sorry to hear you’re struggling. ERP will help you to not be bothered anymore by the thoughts you have. I know that that may sound scary but as an example: I had harm OCD in the past and was terrified. But now, whenever I have an intrusive thought related to harm I’m completely emotionless about them. I think “oh an intrusion” and move on with my day. I know intrusive thoughts are normal and that it’s OCD that makes them multiply. So it’s important that I don’t do compulsions like analyzing if I want the thoughts or why I’m thinking the thoughts in the first place. I hope you can get to that point soon too! ❤️
Kendi82Kendi82
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@hen7 That’s so true…. I’m experiencing the same…. ERP done wonders on my harm OCD
ElevenBElevenB
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@hen7. Thank you. I've been doing ERP for about 2 weeks for scrupulosity. The thoughts and feelings are rough. But hearing your story encourages me. Have a blessed day.
hen7hen7
- Date posted
- 2y
@R. Byrd I’ve had scupulosity as well. When it was particularly bad I felt God tell me “I know you don’t want these thoughts.” And that gave me the permission to treat these thoughts like the others. Like OCD intrusions and simply let them be there and not react in any way. It might take a while for them to dissipate but they will as long as you don’t engage with them in any way.
ElevenBElevenB
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@hen7 @hen7. Therein lies the problem. I engage. My thought is that God has abandoned me and the feelings are there with it. So it's hard not to think about it. I go about my day and do the things I need to do but those thoughts are just there all the time. But I still do my ERP. I know it will take time. I just discovered I had Scrupulosity a few years ago. It started when I was 8. I'm 56 now and getting therapy for it.
ElevenBElevenB
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@hen7 And one thought that came to me the other night just out of the blue was, "The things you are believing are just not what the Bible says. For some reason that brings a little hope inside of me.
hen7hen7
- Date posted
- 2y
@R. Byrd Glad to hear you have therapy. Keep at it and it will get better. God did not abandon me and He will not abandon you. That’s just not who He is. When your OCD has been dealt with I pray you’ll experience His love for you. ❤️ I know after that whole thing I grew a lot in my faith and began to rely on God’s faithfulness. At one point (and it might take a while to get there) I was like “if God wants me then He will save me.” - I realized I never had control over my salvation. It was always going to be based on God’s mercy and love and the work of Jesus. Not based on me. That helped, strangely enough. Because it showed me the flaws in my thinking. One thing that also helped me a lot is to say “your thoughts above my thoughts” - Knowing that my thoughts, especially when they feel OCD-ish, are often incorrect. This will not take the fear away, but it helps to remind myself that I can’t always trust my brain because I have OCD.
ElevenBElevenB
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@hen7 I listen to Jaimie Eckert at Scrupulosity Solutions and she says what you said, "God is just not like that!" I do appreciate you sharing your experience and answering people's questions and concerns. I hope one day to do the same for others.
hen7hen7
- Date posted
- 2y
@R. Byrd Ran into this and thought of you: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwH8JzThHAW/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
ElevenBElevenB
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@hen7 Thank you
ElevenBElevenB
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@hen7 That's beautiful ❤️
drak4drak4
- Date posted
- 2y
If you dont want them you dont like them
Related posts
Ericseal18
- Date posted
- 25w
Obsessive thought
I’m tired of thinking about the same OCD thought to “kill mom” it just doesn’t leave. I try to break the cycle but when it’s broken it just sits there and waits to be interacted with. Idk what to do im tired of it. And it makes me feel like a psycho path and I’m tired of not feeling like myself.
issphra 🫶🏻
- Date posted
- 21w
I’m having a really rough day
Sometimes it feels like I’m chasing pleasure with my intrusive thoughts. Like I just keep thinking them over and over, or even making them worse, because maybe deep down I *want* them. And that’s honestly scary. It feels like I’m trying to prove I’m a bad person or even a p*dophile just to see if I feel disturbed enough for it to count as “real distress.” But sometimes, I don’t even feel that bad. Sometimes it’s just… nothing. Because if I don’t feel guilty or sick enough, doesn’t that mean I like it? That I want to keep thinking about it? Sometimes it feels like I like it. And that’s when I spiral the hardest. But lately, I’m starting to think maybe I’m not actually chasing pleasure. Maybe I’m just chasing certainty. This desperate need to feel bad enough to prove to myself I’m a good person. And when I don’t feel that level of distress, I panic. I do compulsions, just trying to force that feeling. But it never feels “right.” It never feels enough. And I get stuck in this loop of testing, checking, pretending to be okay with these awful thoughts just to see how I’ll react. It’s confusing. It’s exhausting. And it makes me question everything about myself. But I think I don’t actually want these thoughts. Maybe I just want to know, with 100% certainty, that I don’t. If you’re stuck in the same cycle, I see you. You’re not alone. You’re not your thoughts. You’re just trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. And that’s okay.
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LizM99
- Date posted
- 20w
Is this something OCD does?
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
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