- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I am gonna share something deeply personal with you. My main theme was POCD mixed with real event OCD and trauma from my childhood. --- OCD attacked what I love most in this world - my beloved daughter. I had horrible intrusive thoughts. However, even with terror and deep pain of panic and tears streaming down my face I didn't let it separate me from here. I would still hang out with her, help her get dressed and take her to gymnastics class, all in the midsts of panic attacks. I knew that the pain of being away from her was going to be bigger in the future. I wouldn't hug her and kiss her though, I stopped doing that and that hurt a lot and that's what pushed me to go seek help. In just two weeks of ERP I was already kissing and hugging my daughter again. Don't let it win next time - rise above its malicious lies and BE with your family.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I feel the exact way i feel like a burden and a disgrace to my family. They just came back from a family vacation and i wasnt invited
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Fernando.. Thank you so much for being able to share that with me ❤️ must of been hard for you to say. I'm so sorry you went through that? can only imagine how painful it must of been for you. But what An amazing strong person you are.! And an amazing father! I'm so glad erp helped you, and that you were brave enough to seek the help in the first place. It means alot to me that you've shared this. It really does. What you said about the pain of being away from her is bigger in the future is very true. I can't and dont want to imagine life without my family ? I've already missed out on so much! Thank you so much. You are an amazing person ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I felt that way before too, but you have to realize ocd is a fat ass liar. And you can’t keep missing out on life because ocd makes you scared of it. Even if you think they’re better off with out you, you should force yourself to go
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That is a common cognitive distortion. OCD thinks it knows everything. --- You are loved and appreciated by your family and friends in ways you don't realize. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to not feel ok. It's ok not to feel ok. --- Next time you won't let OCD segregate you from your family.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I'm so sorry to hear that js94? you aren't a burden at all! And you have everyone here to talk too if you need it. Thing Is I was invited to this event and my mom was so upset I didn't go. But seeing the pictures made me feel so sad and left out even though I excluded myself by avoiding it. My stupid logic or lack of logic. Thanks Fernando that is so true, I know deep down I am loved by my family and friends. I'm so lucky to have my family really, cos the majority of them are so supportive especially my mom. I really hope I don't let ocd beat me next time and keep me from my family but really it was me that kept me from them by thinking I couldn't handle the inevitable anxiety I'd get around them. I told my mom I wasn't going cos couldn't be around people which upset her even more cos she said we aren't just people we are your family. Broke my heart ? really wish I'd gone for them and for myself
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’m feeling kind of sad cause today was not a really good day in terms of my ocd. I was feeling kind of foggy/numb and that send me to spiraling. I’m 21 years old currently studying but my family has been having trouble with money for the last couple years(we’re just me and my mom) and I kinda want to get a job but everything is far from my home and I wouldn’t be able to return back at night, also it’s either way more expensive to move or the schedule wouldn’t let me take my classes. The point is that because of that every time my mom is stress tends to treat me bad, she speaks to me like I’m stupid or she just screams to nothing cursing all life and everything and that actually makes me feel soo bad and guilty for not doing anything, I know it’s hard for me to get a job that actually helps us without quitting school but that doesn’t stop me from feeling like I’m a burden. I want to help, I want to maybe hug her or something but I know she will be angrier and probably will reject it. So that’s it, I just feel like she punishes me for the stress she’s carrying and I get it but one day is happy and it feels like all love and the next is treating me like that, Idk it’s hard (also I feel like I shouldn’t be saying this cause it’s all my fault) 🫤
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I don’t know why but today I feel so incredibly angry right now and I was so frustrated with everything including my two dogs. I didn’t hurt them or hit them or anything but I was particularly annoyed and angry when they were trying to get presumably a bunny or a raccoon from underneath the shed, so I had to pull my small dog away when he wouldn’t budge away from the shed and i couldn’t pick him up because I was not close enough. I feel bad because I know I love my dogs but oh my god I just get so annoyed with them and on top of them everything else I have to just shut down all day and the things I don’t understand. I feel like I’m going insane. I don’t want my dogs to think I don’t love them because i was angry and annoyed at them. I know they’re just animals and they love me and I love them. I want them to know I’m sorry for even getting mad. I wish I didn’t feel so angry and yet so disconnected at the same time. I’m terrified I’m an evil person or that I don’t love my pets or something. I started to hit myself and punch myself because I do that when I get over the edge angry. I don’t know why I feel angry. It’s a mix of anger and emptiness and I don’t want either of them especially towards my dogs.
- Date posted
- 20d ago
For the second time. I did really well last year. My mom and my cousins were there with me and the ceremony was beautiful, but I feel like I wasn't able to enjoy it fully :( I'm scared I might never enjoy anything ever again. My family keeps congratulating me, but I feel like I don't deserve it. Sometimes, I truly feel like a monster. I feel like I'm mourning my life from before all this happened.
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