Just burst into tears because I've just saw a photo of my family from today, yet again another family event I didn't attend because I didn't feel strong enough. I know it's my own fault I reacted in the wrong way to my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. They all look so happy without me and I feel like sometimes perhaps they are better of without me anyway ? feel so sad

I am gonna share something deeply personal with you. My main theme was POCD mixed with real event OCD and trauma from my childhood. --- OCD attacked what I love most in this world - my beloved daughter. I had horrible intrusive thoughts. However, even with terror and deep pain of panic and tears streaming down my face I didn't let it separate me from here. I would still hang out with her, help her get dressed and take her to gymnastics class, all in the midsts of panic attacks. I knew that the pain of being away from her was going to be bigger in the future. I wouldn't hug her and kiss her though, I stopped doing that and that hurt a lot and that's what pushed me to go seek help. In just two weeks of ERP I was already kissing and hugging my daughter again. Don't let it win next time - rise above its malicious lies and BE with your family.

I feel the exact way i feel like a burden and a disgrace to my family. They just came back from a family vacation and i wasnt invited

Fernando.. Thank you so much for being able to share that with me ❤️ must of been hard for you to say. I'm so sorry you went through that? can only imagine how painful it must of been for you. But what An amazing strong person you are.! And an amazing father! I'm so glad erp helped you, and that you were brave enough to seek the help in the first place. It means alot to me that you've shared this. It really does. What you said about the pain of being away from her is bigger in the future is very true. I can't and dont want to imagine life without my family ? I've already missed out on so much! Thank you so much. You are an amazing person ❤️

I felt that way before too, but you have to realize ocd is a fat ass liar. And you can’t keep missing out on life because ocd makes you scared of it. Even if you think they’re better off with out you, you should force yourself to go

That is a common cognitive distortion. OCD thinks it knows everything. --- You are loved and appreciated by your family and friends in ways you don't realize. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to not feel ok. It's ok not to feel ok. --- Next time you won't let OCD segregate you from your family.

I'm so sorry to hear that js94? you aren't a burden at all! And you have everyone here to talk too if you need it. Thing Is I was invited to this event and my mom was so upset I didn't go. But seeing the pictures made me feel so sad and left out even though I excluded myself by avoiding it. My stupid logic or lack of logic. Thanks Fernando that is so true, I know deep down I am loved by my family and friends. I'm so lucky to have my family really, cos the majority of them are so supportive especially my mom. I really hope I don't let ocd beat me next time and keep me from my family but really it was me that kept me from them by thinking I couldn't handle the inevitable anxiety I'd get around them. I told my mom I wasn't going cos couldn't be around people which upset her even more cos she said we aren't just people we are your family. Broke my heart ? really wish I'd gone for them and for myself