- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I am gonna share something deeply personal with you. My main theme was POCD mixed with real event OCD and trauma from my childhood. --- OCD attacked what I love most in this world - my beloved daughter. I had horrible intrusive thoughts. However, even with terror and deep pain of panic and tears streaming down my face I didn't let it separate me from here. I would still hang out with her, help her get dressed and take her to gymnastics class, all in the midsts of panic attacks. I knew that the pain of being away from her was going to be bigger in the future. I wouldn't hug her and kiss her though, I stopped doing that and that hurt a lot and that's what pushed me to go seek help. In just two weeks of ERP I was already kissing and hugging my daughter again. Don't let it win next time - rise above its malicious lies and BE with your family.
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel the exact way i feel like a burden and a disgrace to my family. They just came back from a family vacation and i wasnt invited
- Date posted
- 5y
Fernando.. Thank you so much for being able to share that with me ❤️ must of been hard for you to say. I'm so sorry you went through that? can only imagine how painful it must of been for you. But what An amazing strong person you are.! And an amazing father! I'm so glad erp helped you, and that you were brave enough to seek the help in the first place. It means alot to me that you've shared this. It really does. What you said about the pain of being away from her is bigger in the future is very true. I can't and dont want to imagine life without my family ? I've already missed out on so much! Thank you so much. You are an amazing person ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
I felt that way before too, but you have to realize ocd is a fat ass liar. And you can’t keep missing out on life because ocd makes you scared of it. Even if you think they’re better off with out you, you should force yourself to go
- Date posted
- 5y
That is a common cognitive distortion. OCD thinks it knows everything. --- You are loved and appreciated by your family and friends in ways you don't realize. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to not feel ok. It's ok not to feel ok. --- Next time you won't let OCD segregate you from your family.
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm so sorry to hear that js94? you aren't a burden at all! And you have everyone here to talk too if you need it. Thing Is I was invited to this event and my mom was so upset I didn't go. But seeing the pictures made me feel so sad and left out even though I excluded myself by avoiding it. My stupid logic or lack of logic. Thanks Fernando that is so true, I know deep down I am loved by my family and friends. I'm so lucky to have my family really, cos the majority of them are so supportive especially my mom. I really hope I don't let ocd beat me next time and keep me from my family but really it was me that kept me from them by thinking I couldn't handle the inevitable anxiety I'd get around them. I told my mom I wasn't going cos couldn't be around people which upset her even more cos she said we aren't just people we are your family. Broke my heart ? really wish I'd gone for them and for myself
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
TW I’m feeling really bad about myself today. I feel like a fraud and a liar. I’ve been unable to enjoy my time with my girlfriend because I’m bombarded with my thoughts. I’ve been asking for reassurance from so many people and nothing is helping. Nothing makes me feel better anymore and I’m worried that this is just how it’s going to be for forever. I miss when I could just be happy and not overthink so much. I miss being able to get through my days without this crippling anxiety. I’m worried there’s going to be a day where I realize I have no fight left in me
- Date posted
- 11w
So I was at a family thing yesterday and my ice was bothering me and I kept washing my hands and my family noticed and started making fun of me for it and it was like non stop it made me feel really alone especially since they clearly know something’s up but they just make it worse instead of at least trying to help😕
- Date posted
- 8w
I am having horrible regression in my recovery. Tonight i'm feeling really alone and sick from anxiety, i'm feeling scared to be alone with my thoughts. I had a family dinner with my sister, brother and mom today and I couldn't help but feel super dissociated. They are all laughing and talking while i'm just existing. I have a loud voice telling me I messed up, i'm dirty, i'm causing them harm. Being around people brings out the worst in my mind because i really want to be normal. My sister and brother did karaoke and sang Disney songs together and they sounded so beautiful and it made me sad because i truly don't feel like i will be able to ever live up to them. They are truly so smart and have their lives laid out for them. My mom takes my disorder personally and often says things like "you're disgusted of me" "you can't even touch me". I know she views me as the weakest one out of us 3, she favors them it's so apparent. My mom has bpd and being around her sinks me so deep. I feel so freaking alone guys and my ocd is actually spiraling me into a bad depression and my thoughts are becoming more serious. I do not feel comfortable in my mind or my body, i rely on distraction constantly running from myself.
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