Fighting OCD and Now My Partner Too

TW: OCD-hoarding We are likely moving in the next few months. We are in the process of buying a home, but this market is crazy, so we won’t believe it until we have the keys. We also don’t know when we’ll be moving because while our closing date has been listed as 8/31, we know the sellers do not plan on leaving till mid-September - late-October. Talk about embracing the unknown and dealing with change! I have so much to pare down. I’ve struggled with holding onto too much my whole life, but have been really working on it. My partner has even mentioned how much progress I have made. However, he just went through all the crates above the closets in our large living room alone. He just threw out or mistakenly recycled all of it. While there were a lot of things I was looking forward to tossing myself and thought would be motivational for me to discard, there was also all of our camping cookware. He claimed that just because there was dust on it that I hadn’t used it in 10 years. When I saw him cleaning all the empty crates, I asked him what he did with the camping gear. I didn’t even press him on getting rid of my tea or the things I wanted to discard for my own motivation. He claimed there wasn’t any camp gear. I finally got him to admit it was in the recycling bin. I had to go through the recycling bin because even if I just bought all new camp gear to replace things, I knew so much of what he put in there wasn’t recyclable. He then told me I was being a lunatic and a trash person. I tried to calmly explain that this felt like a big break in trust, and that that tends to make it harder for me to purge things and definitely harder to let him help. It then quickly escalated and I meanly yelled back too. So now I have two trash bags and a bunch of dirty camp-kitchen equipment with me inside a room where I have barred the door. I refuse to let this break in trust stop me from purging. I will still toss all that I meant to, and now I must also toss things that have been ruined by being out in trash bins in the rain. But I just don’t know how to make this all work with my partner. It’s like we make progress both in paring down and in being able to trust each other and work together, and then he boils over at “my stuff” and trashes things I actually use. He also keeps telling me he thinks I’m oblivious to the piles of stuff I need to pare down, despite how often I’ve confided that they eat away at me and more so knowing that they aggravate him. I don’t even mention anymore that he actually made many of these piles by taking my ADD-type of current project piles and tossing them and his things out of the way throughout the years as quick fixes for when company came over. I had already come to terms with the fact that I won’t know where everything for a while, maybe even until moving in because he’s been “helping me” by just boxing things. But these setbacks between how we work together are breaking me. I am already so stressed by many good things. Next week a new and very packed semester starts for me with 5 courses, the start of student teaching, and a quickly approaching deadline to complete work from an Incomplete last semester. I am having so much trouble moving on my schoolwork, and I know part of it is that I am so stressed, overwhelmed, and feel so guilty for all this STUFF. Thanks for letting me vent. And suggestions would be absolutely appreciated. I know there’s a way out of this hole, and I know I am strong and smart enough to get out, I just don’t know how, and I guess that’s ok. Peace, strength, and comfort to you all. ☮️💪🏼💜 Doggo snuggles to those who would like them. 🐶🧡