No privacy for me to call the crisis line...

TW - Suicidal thoughts Well, I called the 988 number for the Suicide and Crisis line last night. I went to the car to do it because I know that my mom would overreact if she knew I was thinking like that. She has overreacted about that kind of stuff before. But it turns out she saw me in the car and knows I was talking to someone on the phone, she doesn't know who and she was asking me about it just now. The car was the most private place -- the walls in our house are paper thin. Maybe I'll just have to only text them (if possible) and/or sit in the back of the car with the tinted windows and with the porch light off. I guess I'm just venting here. But it is pretty stressful.

Username: CodyCody

Date posted: 1y ago

I’ve been there brother, I’ve had those dark thoughts in my mind, but just know that there’s so much more to life than what you’ve been through up to this point. So many chapters in your story you have yet to see, and always remember you best days haven’t happened yet! :) it was until I found Jesus that I truly realized I was safe and that everything is in His control. He says He comes “So that they may have life, and have it to the fullest”. I admire your strength, and the courage you have to call those numbers and post here. You’re seeking help, you’re not going out without a fight… that makes you a modern day warrior brother. Stay strong, and just know that I’ll be praying God shows you the breakthrough you’re seeking🙏🏼

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Thanks... I'm a Christian too btw

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I believe you can text the 988 number

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you for your response. I may try that :)

Username: lbwocdlbwocd

Date posted: 1y ago

Can I ask how she overreacts? It’s definitely hard to come out and say that to someone, especially someone who loves you. Maybe if you were honest about how you were feeling and if she knew you were proactively taking steps to help yourself she’d be more calm and easy about it? I could be completely wrong, I don’t know your mom and I don’t know your relationship with her. I know if I had told my mom that I was having those thoughts she would tell me to get over it or say I wasn’t, regardless would’ve just made me feel worse. These feelings don’t last forever, stay strong 🥰

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

She would worry too much, she would get hyper with me, maybe shout. She would keep on me about it, ask me about it more days than I would like to remember. She may treat me differently, in a way. I'm sorry to hear about how you feel your mom would react. My dad is completely rude, I could never tell him for any reason, unless I was planning to never see him again.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Come to think of it, it would have been actually during the daylight that I called them and she saw, so having the porch lights off wouldn't help obviously. 🤷‍♂️ I could still sit in the back of the car with the tinted windows.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Nevermind; I just remembered that it would be obvious that I went to the car and that if I was in the car I would probably be on the phone or taking alone time, but she'll suppose I could be on the phone, and she'd be right. So I would really need to go to the car and call at night

Username: Mr. Motivation Mr. Motivation

Date posted: 1y ago

Please hang in there man we all love you 🙏🏼

Username: llamajammallamajamma

Date posted: 1y ago

i’m so sorry you’re going through this. please don’t do anything to harm yourself, i promise life will get better, i’ve been there and i am so thankful that i stayed. always remember that you are loved and that Jesus does not want you to feel this way. if you can, share how you’re feeling with your mom. please stay in this world and see how things get better, if for nothing else, stay alive for me and for everyone else who has seen this post🩷

Username: catattak

Date posted: 4y ago

Tw: suicide but please help if you can . . . . . . Today I was accidentally exposed to something waaaaay too high up my hierarchy and I cant handle it. I'm at the point of planning suicide. I've come up with a new plan and I really feel like it would spare me the pain of ocd and my fear playing out. I was already on a crisis line today but cant share the urge to hurt myself. The crisis worker tried to help me but I honestly felt like I was just wasting their time and they could have been helping someone else so I said I was fine and got off the line. I'm not, I cant stop this overwhelming urge. I know we are supposed to sit with discomfort but this one is a lot. I keep imagining different ways to hurt myself and I'm itching to do them.

Username: nka

Date posted: 3y ago

my mom is so upset with me because i don't want to share my intrusive thoughts. I had talked a little to her but she deduced that the thoughts were about wanting to kill someone or kill me. but it is far beyond that. and she is very sad that i don't want to share, HOW am i going to share if my intrusive thoughts involve rape? and she asked if it was about sexual orientation (she's homophobic) i laughed because it wasn't. in a few minutes this will get worse for me. I don't want to talk to her, I want to talk to some therapist.

Username: Anxiousaddie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Does anyone else get really scared that someone has overheard their therapy sessions? I'm really afraid someone has overheard mine because I often do them at home with my family here. I usually do them upstairs while they are downstairs and I shut the door but I'm still scared they've heard because the walls aren't super thick or anything.

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