What does this mean?

So today I was having intrusive images (mostly about slashing throuths) about my family and my pets. I was having anxiety but the thoughts were saying that I would enjoy this. I am afraid I'm turning into a sociopath or thag I am going to lose empathy. Right now I calmed myself and I felt like myself fo a bit, but out of nowhere it came back saying that I should kill 'cause it will feel great. I feel numb and I feel like I want to cry but I can't. Part of me says this is because I thaught myself it's a thought and it's not true, but the other part of is afraid that I'll become some killer. Thoughts?

ark37

Date posted: 1y ago

I want to start off by saying I’m so sorry you’re going through that! However, it doesn’t seem like you’re a sociopath at all. These thoughts are making you feel terrible, which shows you have empathy. It has upset you enough that you made a post about it. It sounds like normal (yet terrible) intrusive thoughts to me. I experienced something really similar as a kid and I’m 23 now. I never once acted on them and they went away! Just try to remain calm and put the thoughts out of your mind the best you can.

anonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you! Now I was thinking about the intrusive thoughts I had and my mind tries so hard to make me feel like I enjoy them or that I want to them, but now I feel like they were hilarious. I am still a little bit afraid and disgusted but I hope I'll go through this too and live my life the way I always wanted. Thank you once again!

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m dealing with the same thing. It feels like mental torture. I really think though if we were actual killers we’d enjoy the thoughts and not be distressed over them and feeling the need to seek reassurance. I had this really badly when I was 19 and now im having it again unfortunately. I remember in the past though it eventually went away so im hoping it’s a phase for me now and will go away soon. I think it shows up for me during periods of stress

anonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

I am so sorry you're going through this, too. Not wishing this to anyone, 'cause I know how a nightmare this can be. Anyway, you're not alone in this!! We got this.

Nica

Date posted: 1y ago

It means nothing unless you assign meaning to it and give into your OCD.

Motorolla1

Date posted: 24w ago

Pocd ! Want help or suggestion

From few days I am getting thought that how i would hurt a child but now I am not feeling anxious like I used feel when I used have such kind of thoughts usually I used to have panic attacks and felt extremely anxious. But now I don't feel anything like that ? Now I feel like I am a bad person who would not feel bad if I hurt a child. What's going on can anyone tell me. I feel I will kill myself because I don't want to hurt anyone?

Ellasmama

Date posted: 22w ago

Things that scare me

Is this ocd? I Have a thought or think something f harmful that I’ve gotten intrusive thoughts about - and get a feeling like I want/like it or it would give me relief??? Please tell me that will eventually go away and I’ll get my real feelings back??? Or have I just turned into those things? Sometimes things that make me upset it even feels like I’ll do them just so I can be upset about them.

CD…

Date posted: 18w ago

Intrusive thoughts

This may upset some people reading so here is just a warning that these are disturbing I don’t know what to do to make the bad thoughts stop. My mom recently had a baby, my little brother. I wasn’t exactly happy about this pregnancy, but I have nothing against my brother. He’s adorable and silly. Nothing against him. But I feel like these thoughts bug me because what if deep down I do resent him because I didn’t want my mom to have another kid? What if I did act on these things because I hate him? What if I just lose it and do something? It’s all so illogical, I know. Never would I ever want to do that. But there’s times I’m watching him for a few minutes for my mom and my brain just shows me an awful scene of me brutally hurting him or killing him. Or I’ll be holding him and my brain shows me a scene where I purposefully drop him or I just hurt him so badly. I’ll be walking near him and my brain tells me I’m going to stomp on him. It shows me such bad things. I have intrusive thoughts all the time, but this is different because there’s a semi good reason I “could” do it. That being, I wasn’t happy about the pregnancy. And it scares me. I’ve started crying because I was so scared it was going to happen. I have to back up away from him or sit down so there’s no way I can do anything. I feel horrible. I don’t want to hurt him. And I’m so scared I will. But I won’t. I’m hoping this makes sense to others who struggle with this. Because to anyone else who’s never gone through these things I’ll sound insane. And sound like a psychopath. Thanks for reading. Any help would be appreciated.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

What does this mean?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community