Does anyone else get urges/fears surrounding this? My dad was pretty racist etc. and my mom was abusive. I get a lot of worry surrounding turning into them. I just wondered if it was common.
To be clear I’m worried about becoming my parents. I’m not having a baby. 🤣🤣
I worry that i'm inherently like my dad deep down
@LizzyF What was your dad like?
@NotSoNewb82 Well to use a "box" with a "label," narcissistic.
@NotSoNewb82 And sexist
@LizzyF My dad was sexist too. Not that it would have affected me as much as you. He and my mom got a divorce and I didn’t see him for 8 years but when he was home he was terrible. He’d throw dinners at the wall and he and my mom would be drunk all the time. Once he left my mom started getting really abusive. She beat me up sometimes and smashed a glass in my face once. I understand now that they were alcoholics and that is what alcoholics do but those things still happened and it doesn’t make it easy.
@NotSoNewb82 That must be really hard for you
@LizzyF I’m scared I’m going to be an abuser.
@LizzyF How do you cope?
Either way you see Britain. If you go into and out of Bham you can have a look around that city and tick it off your list.
I have some unhealthy things i do to try to cope with different things, but one thing i know is that God can change my heart and free me from whtever causes me to act like my dad does.
@LizzyF I avoid women. If I don’t have a relationship I can’t be an abusive partner or parent. I’m travelling and I’m in a place that is popular for yoga. Obvs more women than men like yoga so there are lots of single women but I won’t budge. I want to but I can’t. I used to work in a popular bar in my twenties and sane problem there. I’ve lived in hostels too where sex was on tap for the others. I have female friends, I get offers but I just shut down. You’d be amazed at the women I’ve turned down.
@NotSoNewb82 Is that an ocd theme of yours?
@LizzyF I don’t know. I can’t get therapy rn.
Hello everyone! Me and my fiancé are planning to have a child and my fear is that like what if I think something bad during intimate time and those thoughts are what comes up when I see my child. Something like that. I know it’s not true and I know I didn’t have another person in mind or anything like that in my head. But now I’m having thoughts about like abortion or a plan b pill and I don’t want that. Any advice? I feel super guilty
Has anyone else experienced something like this? I’m graduating from college soon and i have been so stressed about finding a job, signing a lease for an apartment, college ending, I have an ungodly amount of assignments to do, I have a tumultuous relationship with my mother that has recently blown up again, and so much more. I am just so overwhelmed, I snapped at my boyfriend last night. I immediately apologized but i still feel awful. One of my biggest fears is being an abusive partner and i feel like this confirms that I am one. My best friend was also there and he saw me snap at my boyfriend and I’m scared he thinks I’m awful too. He saw me apologize so maybe that makes him think differently, but i can’t know for sure. The logical side of me tells me it’s not that deep, i apologized, and it’s time to move on. But i feel like i need to apologize to my best friend too to make sure he doesn’t think im terrible, but i know thats reassurance seeking. The ocd in me is punishing myself and refusing to move on.
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