Does anyone interpret communication in a certain way and then become unsure if it means what they interpreted? And then don't even know how to interpret it at all? Like ok, if I put my negative thoughts aside but then I don't know what it normally means. And you do need to understand some meaning from conversations or other social cues to survive. What to do in such a situation?
I also worry about being a burden too/wondering if my actions may inconvenience or hurt others. I’m glad you talked to your therapist, and it sounds like that you were able resist acting upon your thoughts for a period of time (that’s big!)! It’s hard when it turns out it’s something like the former as you said. I regards to your last sentence — one thing I’m trying to do in regards to my social communication/actions (burden, did I hurt someone emotionally, was I inappropriate or inconsiderate) is practicing acceptance for lower distress rumination/compulsion ones right now — that its okay if I never know the other person’s opinion 100%, and if I did make that sort of mistake that’s okay too, and sometimes when I’m brave enough telling myself “who cares what they think” (that last one is very challenging still!). Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel a connection with your post and wish you well.
Thank you so much for commenting. I feel validated 🥲🤗
Are you saying like when you talk to someone you aren’t sure if you understand what they are saying?
What I am currently thinking about is emails where my mind interprets something normal as they are bashing me. After some time, it seems to me that may be they are not and I just get confused if they are or not or what message is the tone conveying.
@Alya Aziz Yes i definitely go through this. But I’m learning to that the written word can confuse anyone OCD or not. I notice that when i reread over and over it makes it worse because if you do that there could be tons of angles so just try to read once and go with your thought. Like when I read your post i wasn’t having OCD about it,but i still was confused. Nothing wrong with asking ONCE for clarification. Hope that helps
@Anonymous You can't ask people if they are hitting on you or if they are mad at you. My mind some times interprets things very weirdly when I first read it based on my fears and thoughts so I am not sure how to deal with this. You need to respond to people and all
@Alya Aziz I know what you are saying, but OCD is giving too much importance to things. You have to just not read into it so much. I think if someone is hitting on you and you like them but aren’t sure they are just be friendly and you will find out soon enough. If you feel you may have made someone mad you could ask once,but if you don’t remember doing anything again just be nice. It will come to light then you can deal with it then. Again it’s living with uncertainty and that’s hard for us.
@Anonymous I don't like them, it's always an authority figure. I just panic how to deal with it and start having anxiety. The other interactions showed that it wasn't like that but I always want to be certain what the person meant in that moment. And so much of time gets wasted in the worry and anxiety which I don't want.
I feel in general emails can be misinterpreted more easily because other than bold, italics, underlining (for emphasis) and all capitals for yelling it’s hard to determine someone’s mood in written word I think. There is a level of uncertainty, which as an above poster has stated is hard for us to accept.
I received their email and interpreted it as they were saying that I am not seeing the other person's struggles and wanting an immediate answer. They described that the other person was considering this and that and we can't really expect them to respond. So I interpreted it this way, catastrophized and I was having suicidal ideation and it pushed me further there because I don't want to be a burden to people and try to not hurt anybody. Then I talked to my therapist and felt better and later I reread the email to see if I interpreted it incorrectly as some times I do and I thought may be they just explained it to me to calm down and not worry. So I decided to move on without understanding anything. Today I thought I should asked them and they said it was the former that I come across as ungrateful. Now, I had ignored it and would never know if this was the message being sent. If you stop ruminating then how do you know what message you are supposed to get from a situation
Guys, does isolating yourself from society make OCD worse? Because I go out these days and I feel like my questions are illogical. Because it seems that alone, everything becomes bigger. It seems that we disregard everything. So something that you would or wouldn't do doesn't seem to have an answer because you don't consider the other. Is this real? Because for example, one question is whether I would take advantage of someone. But the question is, does that someone exist? It's not something that's in my head. In real life, we're all human and you see them that way. So your debt is answered with no. Because that's how you are, when placed in society. You would only do some harm if you didn't consider this, but that would be your values, right? So OCD asks some questions that disregard things, right?
I honestly can’t tell when thoughts are being affected by OCD. Sometimes I think I have what I think are normal “grey” thoughts, but then OCD adds so much weight to them and I spiral. I had this thought that I wished my boyfriend was more confident or independent. I felt so guilty for thinking it. I told him, and of course it hurt him. He told me it’s a normal thought to have, I just dwell on it too much. And that it’s the kind of thought most people keep to themselves. That’s the thing. I don’t know what’s okay to keep to myself and what isn’t. I think sometimes I say things out loud not just to relieve anxiety, but because I genuinely don’t know what’s okay to think or say. I do not know the line between a normal grey thought and something that’s “bad” to think. I don’t know how to tell if it’s something I should process privately or something I need to be ashamed of. I get this confusion with intrusive thoughts too, but those are easier to spot and evaluate. This is harder, because again, it is *my* thought. That makes it harder to sit with. Maybe the intrusive part is the voice that questions what kind of person I am for even thinking it. I don’t have the same telltale signs anymore. My physical anxiety isn’t there anymore, it’s all in my head and that makes it so much more confusing. But I don’t know. The line between honesty vs compulsion is so blurry. I just feel lost
I know the solution is to always say “yeah that could be true, but I am choosing to live my life anyway.” However, I feel like my biggest issue is my brain always assuming that it is immediately true when I do that. Like if I say “maybe I’m attracted to teenagers, it’s possible,” then my brain INSTANTLY starts rationalizing that thought and defending it and being like “oh okay so you think this now and it makes sense because xyz, and now that’s who you are and your real desire is now and always will be teenagers.” I feel really alone in this area of feeling like my brain “accepting the thoughts” means my brain immediately accepts them as true. I obviously don’t want to think they’re true but I feel so stuck now.
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