Sober journey?

Ella, Thank you for sharing. I destroyed everything I love and every relationship that I care about(including the one with myself). Due to excessive substance abuse. I did not realize the error in my ways. Or that I had an underlying cognitive ailment. So you are two or three steps ahead of me. Great work! You are already on your journey to sobriety!! :) The next few statements are coming from someone who is now sober, Working through my compulsions, In a 12 step program, attending therapy, and exercising daily. But I am not clinically trained. (It may appear overwhelming, just need to take one step at a time). If you do not find any self-motivation to make the change. A life circumstance evoking you to make the change is inevitable. (Like losing your family, health, career, house, pets, vehicles, and ultimately yourself.. I.e. me). This was hard for me to grasp. But you are not supposed to feel good all of the time. I found peace in self-discipline. Knowing I have control over my impulses and desires. Sitting in the fire is the only way to recover and stay on your true path in life. Substances are just a distraction. Moderation is not an option for me. Correcting your relationship with alcohol is an option. However, in my experience. The moderation eventually turns into full blown addiction/dependency and often left me waking up months later… (Thinking where have I been?). Your path to recovery is your own. But you are NOT alone. Finding the root cause/emotions/triggers behind your need/want to drink is the only answer for long term success and stability. Hope this helps! Have a wonderful day! :)

I used to go out every Friday and drink LOADS. It’s the only time I felt relaxed and that the muscles in my face relaxed. When I would get anxious during the week I would say “it’s ok I’m going out on Friday” I’ve not drank now in 12 months. I can honestly say I feel better - my OCD is still there and im now onto getting my fitness regime to where it needs to be. I realised that drinking - for the reason I was - was like putting a band aid on a gapping wound. I was frankly sick of living my life just getting through 5 days to feel alive for 1, hungover for another. I would certainly recommend it

Alcoholics Anonymous gives you accountability, community, direction.

I drink too much. Every weekend I go out and binge drink