I regularly feel that my OCD is the worst case there has ever been in the history of mankind. I do so many physical compulsions and have done for almost 4 years now that it feels like I must have the worst case there has ever been and because it has gone on for so long I am never going to be able to stop it. It's terrifying
Yes everyone who has ocd feels this way because that's how awful and distressing it is. 28 years for me.
@JamesMY That’s a long time. Have you been treated. 13years for me
@Anonymous - Never had therapy. I was given paxil 60mg for 16 years, and it worked but I didn't like being on it andI quit it cold turkey. That was a mistake and now things are really bad.
@JamesMY Can I ask why you didn't like being on it. I'm considering trying a new one. Already tried sertraline 50mg and 100mg and felt no improvement
@Joe87 - I didn't like being on it bc I had trouble sleeping, weight gain, and some lack of emotions. I also read a lot about them and thought they do more harm than good. In the 11 years before I took it I has 3 major spikes. There were times when it was gone. In the year since I quit I've had it non stop. So idk if you want to get on one for a long time bc you may have to stay on it for life.
@JamesMY Can I ask in the 16 years that you where on it did the urges to ruminate and do rituals completely disappear to the point that you did no rituals/complusions. The most relief I've had from the intrusive thoughts and what always feels like an unmovable urge to do all of these horrible silly rituals is when I had covid 2 years ago. I was so exhausted that my brain and mind completely slowed down and I didn't have the energy to ruminate and do complusions. This makes me think that I need a medication with a sedative in or something to just slow my thoughts down
@Joe87 - The ruminating stopped. The thoughts stopped. Or when I got one they easily went away. Paxil is the most effective drug there is for OCD. But Paxil is the drug from hell. You will become dependent on it and you will have to be on it for life. Everyone is different but Paxil eliminated my OCD. But it is awful for a lot of other reasons. If you don't mind being on it for life go for it.
Might be? Could not be also though 🤔🤷🏻♂️ Only thing for sure is that there's help. :)
I suppose your answer is exactly what I need to do with every intrusive thought and question I have that doesn't have a certain answer.....maybe and maybe not
Wow that's a very long time for both sorry to hear that. Can I ask if you spend your whole day doing rituals or just parts of the day or in certain scenarios?
For me I feel like my ocd is unique since I don’t seem to meet many people with my theme which I believe is a similar experience
Can I ask what your theme is if you're comfortable sharing?
Yes, I feel that, specially that my thoughts are not ocd and that I will never be better
Are you saying that your thoughts are not OCD or that you're not sure if you have OCD or not?
@Joe87 What I’m saying is that my ocd always make me think that I’m in denial and that I don’t have ocd
@Gabbi_29 Okay I think I can relate to that. All I know is that OCD is the hardest thing I have ever had to go througgm I wouldn't wish how it's taken over me and made me feel on my worst enemy
I’ve been dealing with ocd my whole life, and just got diagnosed about a year ago. I feel my days becoming occupied with thoughts, urges, fears and worry that completely debilitate me. It’s getting to the point where i feel like it’s taking over my life. I don’t see this getting any better, even with the therapy and medication I’m on. I’m scared my life will be like this forever, I’m tired. My brain is tired of ruminating every second of every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I’m not sure how much longer I can go on like this.
I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.
I’m so scared I’ll be stuck in this forever soo soo scared
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