Recently my rumination has been so bad that my ocd doesn’t focus on one thing. It feels like my brain is just flipping through a theme book and obsessing over every theme there could be… does anyone else suffer from this
Yes. Rumination will always find more material if you don’t break the the cycle. The only way I’ve found to “break it” is, every day when I wake up in the midst of ruminating, I saw to myself internally, “get out of your head and get into the world around you…” meaning I tell myself to get up and start focusing on external things, instead of internal thoughts. Simply looking at the trees isn’t usuall enough for me - I have to stand up, change my clothes, even a shower right away (all of which is thy r exact opposite of what my compulsion is to do - which is to sit in bed with my eyes closed hoping I’ll fall back asleep to avoid the rumination for a bit longer. But that always makes it worse. It’s best to just get up and “eat the frog” as they say, if you can. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. Some days I turn off the rumination quickly by getting my ass going and moving quickly, other days not so much. It’s an art, not a science. Good luck and this is just my experience so remember it may not be the same for you!
@Anonymous This is amazing, thank you!
@Anonymous Yeah I really really like this, thanks!!
I didn't even realize I've been getting stuck in rumination paralysis every morning, but thanks so much for that awareness and boost! "It's an art, not a science" that's amazing.
Yes!! It’s like there’s someone who’s like “how can we get the best of them now”, and then trying new cards that have fears or negative thoughts on them. “Hmm okay not going to take that one seriously, what about this” etc etc and new fears pop in and sometimes it’s so overwhelming you don’t know what to do.
@OCD-ouch4545 Exactly it’s like my brain is trying to find one to obsess about
@helenalab I hate that process. It happens to me all the time. Especially on the worst days. Like the past few days for me and it makes everything harder to do.
@OCD-ouch4545 Absolutely what I was thinking. The other day I was tracking these thoughts. Within about 5 minutes, I went through at least 10 intrusive thoughts that are of this kind.
Oh I am right there with you. I get stuck on something and go down the rabbit hole then something happens in it that takes me down another one and on and on and on. It's actually exhausting and distracting me from work and life.
@jgphillips25 Super exhausting.. it also happens to me the second I feel like everything’s fine and I’m doing well. Then my brain is like nawww.. “what about this “
@OCD-ouch4545 - Lol... I have been talking with my counselor about finding the silver lining. Typically that's looking for reassurance in a sense and that's something we need to avoid. However, for me every silver lining comes with oh this good thing can happen but nah it won't happen because these 20 bad things will happen. So looking for a silver lining is actually pushing me into that uncomfortable zone by forcing myself to not throw a but in there.
@OCD-ouch4545 Yes usually when I’m getting better my brain will do this to find something to get me back in a spiral
@jgphillips25 😢
Yes 100% relate to this
There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.
I don’t even know where to start because there’s so much going on in my head and it feels like there’s so much evidence for every thought. Like my ocd feels like it doesn’t just have one specific theme it’s honestly every theme and it just switches throughout the day depending on the thoughts I have. This started all about a month ago, this whole ocd flare up. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd for about 3 years now and looking back on my childhood, I feel like I’ve had it for probably my entire life. My grandpa just recently died back in February and I feel like this whole ocd spiral is a result of dealing with grief especially because it didn’t even hit me for the whole month of April for some reason and things felt “normal”. But since this ocd flare up has started I’ve been constantly reviewing and revisiting my past, all my childhood memories and so many of them are terrifying which is weird because I never had a traumatic event hppen to me as a child. I feel like it’s always been “self-inflicted” trauma if that makes sense? My mind is telling me so many things related to so many topics like maybe I liked my family member as a kid and have just hid it to fit in with society? That my anxiety as a kid has caught up with me and I’m turning into a psychopath? That I’ve always been a creep and enjoyed looking at peoples privates or chests, etc but just ignored or allowed the thought this whole time. Also before this whole flare up I remember always feeling on autopilot and not really alive like everything I did I just felt numb about it. Which aids my ocd to tell me that these feelings are real and the thoughts are true and that I’m “waking up” or realizing or something. I haven’t felt such intense anxiety and distress since I was a kid and I didn’t even understand my own thoughts. It’s like I’m either hyper aware or totally unaware of what’s going on around me and it gets me thinking about my existence, personality, what my role in life is and like genuinely what I’m even doing in the moment like what’s the reason behind everything. I’m constantly questioning my intentions because I don’t know if they’re true or not and it’s like my ocd doesn’t even allow me to consider the thought it just jumps to conclusion. Like telling me I’m guilty before proven innocent. It honestly feels like so much at once to even simply call it ocd or anxiety because it feels like a crisis and any moment I could spiral and breakdown completely. Going to school everyday feeling like anytbing could trigger a panic attack at any moment makes me feel like I can’t be left alone with my thoughts. And like overall since I got down this rabbit hole, my first obsession was harm to myself, then it was harm to others specifically my family, then it was being a pervert or pedo, or being attracted or someone or something I shouldn’t be, which then makes me question my existence and who I am along with also being hyper aware of my facial movements like my eyebrows, nose, etc. Like why does ocd have to involve itself in every aspect of my life? It feels like there’s always something wrong that I need to fix.
my OCD is doing what it does best and it’s randomly selecting themes. Once I’m not scared or react to one it bounces to another. And then i temporarily forget all of my coping skills for that theme. Rn it’s fixating on the time I had a panic attack and it’s trying to make me have one again
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