Nuance?!? What is it

How does one live a nuanced life…it feels like everyone on the internet (and thus everyone irl) uses black and white opinions to simplify morality and I feel like a bad person if I don’t just blindly agree…all these simple platitudes that people on twitter use to make morality into this simple easy issue. I find it hard to believe that the people around me are living with nuanced thoughts on these polarizing issues until they start talking about it and I feel like my brain is breaking cause I want to say “bad person!!! Cut them off”, then if anyone is trying to promote nuance they’re “anti-cancel culture” and basically alt right…Does the world really work this way can someone actually hold nuance in todays day and age or is it just my OCD brain

josh285

Date posted: 1y

I've felt the same way and maybe it's OCD that makes us more susceptible to this but it's also just that social media is not an effective tool for having real conversations and understanding how real people think and feel about things. The real world is nuanced and I think it's comforting to immerse yourself in that. Imo, opinions are only valuable to you if you have a reason to listen to the person they belong to and take that person seriously. They are ideas to be shared in real conversation as a way of understanding and communicating with people who you respect, and exist in the context of the person. on Twitter you're basically scrolling through thousands of opinions that have been tossed out into the void, I don't think that has much use and I don't think you should give them much weight. What helped me with this was realising I didn't have to take anything people say on the internet seriously, a lot of it is algorithmically presented to keep you engaged at the expense of your mental health anyways. I stopped using Twitter entirely and I don't think I lost anything of value, but it's definitely reduced some of the useless noise in my head.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@josh285 I just don’t understand why it’s a disorder when I do it but when every single person on twitter does it’s not. Like it just feels like so many people for it to just be a few crazies online. Like for example you look up the word “moderate” or “centrist” on any social media and it’s nothing but disgust and hatred but then people say the majority of Americans are “moderate” It’s easy to say this person is overly sensitive or chronically online or whatever but when it’s so many people I feel like I never know when someone in person might also think that way…and I feel like I’m lying to them

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@josh285 Like currently rn I’m spiralling about the Mila kunis and Ashton Kutcher thing…people are saying he’s a groomer they’re SA apologist…and I can’t stop think what would I do in their situation and would the entire world think I’m a shitty person for it

josh285

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I don't know what the "correct" way to deal with this is because I'm not in therapy yet, but I'll just tell you what I think has helped me with that. You don't have to have an opinion on everything you read or see, maybe it's comparable to dealing with intrusive thoughts where if you're presented with information that is upsetting or provokes rumination, you can just let it be without trying to dig into it or solve it or come to a correct understanding of it. Your brain is taking discussions that aren't related to you and coming up with hypothetical situations to give you something to worry about, but you don't have to worry about it, they're just thoughts and they have no real purpose. If you were in a situation where people actually hated you for some reason, then you would be able to make decisions on what to do and what to feel based on what is actually happening around you, which is very different from what your brain is doing now. All it's doing now is making things up to get anxious about, you don't have to engage with that or take it seriously. There's lots of triggering stuff on social media, I think it's possible to see that stuff and just accept it as information that exists. As soon as your brain starts extrapolating it to mean something distressing, you know it's just OCD trying to waste your time. I hope that makes sense lol.

thesa52@gmai...

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous ah ... yeah, people may say that because this guy is a 'repeat rapist' sentenced to 30 years.

thesa52@gmai...

Date posted: 1y

@josh285 Yes, Josh285 ! People think too much and need to quiet their mind by learning how to Let It Be. Meditation is a great tool.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@thesa52@gmail.com I’m not talking about what people say about him I’m talking about what people say about the people who wrote “character letters” for him in court. It’s also not even about that my brain creates senarios like “what if (insert name here) is secretly a rapist and you’re a bad person for even associating with them”

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@thesa52@gmail.com Or what if my father was accused of a horrible crime would I support him still and then get “cancelled”

Nica

Date posted: 1y

Logic and rational thinking through Socratic methods. And also knowing about confirmation bias and other biases that humans lean into when they’re faced with different ideas and beliefs. It’s a hard, continual process that I work on daily BUT I rather do that than live in a bubble.

thesa52@gmai...

Date posted: 1y

Bravo. Brilliant post, Anonymous

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

I don’t know how to live a nuanced life either or what it means exactly, but I do try to recognize cognitive distortions/thinking errors that may be related to my obsessions/compulsions.

SunnyAnon

Date posted: 19w

ocd + interests + online discussions

i’ve been having this theme pop up recently where if I see people either criticize or be a hater and spread misinformation or seeing old controversies about my current interests/hyper-fixations i find myself having a crazy anxiety attack about if it’s “morally okay” to be interested in my interests anymore. i feel really singled out and like im doing something wrong because im watching a youtuber or listening to a specific musical group. in all of these specific situations the people involved have talked about the situations and have changed accordingly but seeing it makes me feel like i shouldn’t be allowed to like my favorite things. to be clear none of these things are dramatically evil or bad. it’s either misinformation/uneducated people influencing someone opinion and then they learn and change. it just makes me feel like im not allowed to like my favorite things anymore because of people criticizing it??? if that makes sense??? also this is a little off topic but also not really because i’m 99.99% sure im autistic because of MANY things but with this specifically i have very strong interests and i feel very deep feelings about them and any and all criticism or hateful comments towards my favorite things trigger me deeply and make my ocd act up and make me feel uncomfortable and uncertain and anxious and it causes physical discomfort to me. i really don’t know how to calm myself down about this specific theme it’s brand new and makes me feel really anxious. not trying to look for reassurance but does anyone else understand what i mean??? does anyone have any advice on how to not give into the negative comments??? any suggestions on how to ease this specific anxiety???

"Pure" OCD

truetrev

Date posted: 19w

Political OCD

Sometimes i think everyone on the right is evil. I ask myself “how can i love people with values different than mine?” I struggle accepting the fact my parents political beliefs are different than mine. I love them so much but it baffles me. We have talked and they say its fine to have different opinions but i can’t help but wonder if i’m doing something wrong by having my beliefs. And then with all the economic chaos today in the US, I can’t help but think that I was right about everything and I just feel like it is my fault that the world is in turmoil. Idk. I think i wish i could stop thinking about it but ever since the election cycle began around a year ago it has been dominating my life. I question myself, i question others, i appear very extremist and rigid and i don’t like it. I want my OCD to go away. Its apparently OCD but it feels so real right now. Can anyone relate? What are yalls thoughts on this subtype?

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 13w

I think this is a self reassurance compulsion, idk

Input please. Whenever I have a thought or come across something like news about pedophilia or other awful things, I feel like I try to make it okay in my head. Like I am trying to explain it away, excuse it. And when I look at that from a more compassionate lens, I think maybe I am just trying to process something bad. Maybe I am trying to make something horrific feel a little less horrifying so I can keep existing in a world where it happens. Because the truth is, whenever I hear about something terrible, it does not just go away. I do not have that ability to shove it aside and move on. I have to live with it. I carry it. I live my life alongside these awful things that exist. But then, when I look at it through a different lens, it gets darker. Maybe I am not trying to process something bad. Maybe I am actually trying to justify it. Maybe I am trying to convince myself it is not that bad… because deep down I agree with the people who do it. Or maybe I am afraid that if it were not so stigmatized, I would somehow be okay with it. And that thought worries me. I know that why someone holds moral values is not as important as the fact that they do. I know that what matters is your actions and your commitment to being a good person. It still scares me. I keep asking myself: am I trying to justify something awful just so I can mentally survive it, or am I trying to justify something awful because some part of me agrees with it?

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Nuance?!? What is it

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