Username: anonymous700

Date posted: 1y ago

Making friends

Yesterday I got all dressed up to go out with my cousins and I went to the bar we were supposed to meet up at only to be waiting there for an hour until I figured they weren’t coming…so out of desperation or vulnerability I suppose I texted my ex who lived near by only to then be rejected once again from him. Yesterday was intense because it worsened my intrusive thoughts. I just felt so alone and so sad. It’s so hard making friends and it really sucks sometimes because I like to be social I like to make friends but I just never make any. I feel like something just isn’t clicking with me. I’m already 27 and I really wish I had a significant other I want that in my life I want a family.

Username: Mr.ocdMr.ocd

Date posted: 1y ago

Dont beat youself up for others short comings. The ex thing good thing he declined it was probably for the best overall. Yeah sure maybe you not where you wanna be YET, but youll get there one day just keep on working on yourself and itll be alright.

Username: anonymous700anonymous700

Date posted: 1y ago

@Mr.ocd Thank you 🙏🏼 ❤️❤️❤️

Username: FJustRightOCDFJustRightOCD

Date posted: 1y ago

@Mr.ocd “Don’t beat yourself up for others shortcomings”. WOW. That’s brilliant advice for the poster but also it’s advice that I needed to hear. That really resonates. Thank you

Username: FJustRightOCDFJustRightOCD

Date posted: 1y ago

@anonymous700 I agree with what Mr OCD says! Couldn’t have said it better Anonymous 700.

Username: JessIsConfusedJessIsConfused

Date posted: 1y ago

Everyone has those moments. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to have low points for ocd to come back. You are human, we make mistakes. What is important to remember is we can’t change what we can’t control. I always think that wouldn’t I rather be in a relationship that I fully enjoy then a half made one out of depression. I would work on yourself! Work on being social, don’t lose that! Making friends is hard and honestly both getting into a relationship and making friends all come down to luck. And it is tiring always putting yourself out there but it always is good to try! And in the meantime do things you enjoy, spend time with family or work. And I would also try and call out ur cousins that was not very nice of them to stand u up. You got this! I know people say life is so short but it just feels that way sometimes. You have so much time to grow and change. You life will change, circumstances will change and this will all be figured out

Username: anonymous700anonymous700

Date posted: 1y ago

@JessIsConfused Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️ I really can’t thank you enough I feel so connected to ppl in this app and it means a lot knowing I’m not alone and there’s a community here ❤️

Username: 777Q777Q

Date posted: 1y ago

Please take my comments as trying to be helpful and not critical . Overall avoiding ex boyfriend , ex girlfriend is a good general rule . Bars also are not the greatest for meeting people . These are just my observations over many years . Think in terms of interests that have a higher level of success with positive people and outcomes. For example , arts , music , sports , volunteering , traveling and so on .

Username: anonymous700anonymous700

Date posted: 1y ago

@777Q I have tried! I go to a running group. I also go to yoga and well I have tried engaging with in making friends through these activities the ppl just don’t stick. It’s like they already have their sense of friendships. As for bars, yea no, I do not plan on meeting any one there 😂 it just sucks because I do like getting all pretty to go out with friends and dance and ppl watch but I have no one to do that with lol

Username: 777Q777Q

Date posted: 1y ago

@anonymous700 Hang in there . Better days are coming 😊. People are not like they used to be as years have gone by people overall seem more isolating and many could care less about others , wrapped up in their own life dramas .

Username: JordTheNordJordTheNord

Date posted: 1y ago

Feeling alone and just unfortunate circumstances make our thoughts worse for sure. Did they say why the weren’t coming? Did they apologize for having you wait a hour for them? Why do you think you struggle making new friends? Also, own that you texted your ex. Don’t say you suppose 😉😏. We all been there.

Username: anonymous700anonymous700

Date posted: 1y ago

@JordTheNord My cousins tend to be flaky but because they’re my family I always feel obligated to break my boundaries for them. And well I am so embarrassed to admit that I texted my ex because I always do when I’m so vulnerable 😭🥴

Username: JordTheNordJordTheNord

Date posted: 1y ago

@anonymous700 I understand breaking boundaries for family. I’ve done that myself however I stopped and you need to stop because it was not good for me or you or anyone! Of course doesn’t mean you need cross them out of your life just remember they flaky and don’t depend on them. I call this “keeping your ppl where they are”. I have friends that are great but give terrible advice so I never ask them for advice but always down for a good time with them. I have flaky ppl, will always be down to hang with them but I don’t count on them or set up super important things around them. Also, some ppl just like to be home bodies and chill so I never push them to go out. This way you can have all these social connections but we are maneuvering wisely through everyone’s individualism. However it is still not cool that they stood you up like that and didn’t say anything not cool. Also, we’ve all been there and made mistakes or reached out to an ex in a vulnerable position! You are not alone and do not feel embarrassed. Just because we make mistakes doesn’t mean we need to feel embarrassed. It’s already enough to deal with the mistake but no need to pile on shame. It is hard and kinda weird making new friends that stick as an adult lol. Remember though don’t take it personal if they don’t stick I’m sure there are some ppl you wouldn’t want to be friends with and visa versa because some of us just don’t mesh well with others and that’s ok! Also, you did say ppl seem to have established a set group of friends and with everyone rushing around or filling time to fill time (I think this is silly we do this) it’s hard to get new ppl involved. Ppl get comfortable. If your social and you seem very sweet keep being you! You’ll get your lot. Just focus on yourself and your activities and doing new activities or learning new skills on your own. Juice the resume up lol. You got this. Online hug 🤗

Username: anonymous700anonymous700

Date posted: 1y ago

@JordTheNord THANK YOU SO MUCH! I really appreciate it! This means so much especially the online hug 😭❤️ that was much needed. But I really thank you for this advice. I think my ocd comes into play with the whole “well what did I do wrong for them to not like me/ flake on me” and so I definitely need to practice enjoying my own company and just enjoying trying new things! Thank you ❤️

Username: JordTheNordJordTheNord

Date posted: 1y ago

@anonymous700 @Mr.ocd said it well too. Don’t blame yourself for other’s shortcomings.

Username: JordTheNordJordTheNord

Date posted: 1y ago

@anonymous700 My pleasure! 😊

Username: FJustRightOCDFJustRightOCD

Date posted: 1y ago

It sounds like maybe there are people around you right now who don’t know your worth and exists in places in your day to day life with folks you don’t vibe with. And OCD or sensitivity in general can make us read even into this stuff as signs of something wrong with us when really it may just be a time and place thing. And your cousins standing you up like that, that’s on them. They don’t deserve your friendship. Maybe they get your love as a cousin, but social time and space they don’t deserve. They can do better. There are ALL kinds of people in the world and right now there is someone somewhere who you would vibe with, also longing for a friend like you. Don’t give up.

Username: anonymous700anonymous700

Date posted: 1y ago

@FJustRightOCD Thank you so much you don’t know how much this comment means to me 🥹

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

I had to stay home from work today because even though I was exhausted I got 1 hour of sleep. I work 7 days a week between 2 jobs and I finally said today I need a mental day. I am lonelier than ever and have lost friends over the past few years or just lost touch. My best friend ever stopped speaking with me after a group tour of the UK a few years ago and now someone that was our mutual friend is best friends with her and brushes me off. I tried to reach out to my ex friend and make peace but no answer. She has many friends now and a boyfriend. I realize I had some drunk nights that make people not want to hang out with me but I was up last night feeling complete rejection to the fullest and horrible about myself. At rock bottom I have no one. On top of that I was just in a toxic relationship while living abroad and he turned out to be a chronic cheater and married with 2 kids. I have one friend who speaks to me from LA from time to time but as for here in New York I barely got anyone left and bad memories. I can’t be afraid of not going to sleep every night because of thoughts or depression. My period is due any day which doesn’t help. I was just crying so much last night. I’ve never felt so alone. I just feel like a horrible human being that no one wants to be around and I try to make it right.

"Pure" OCD

Username: I eat boys

Date posted: 4y ago

Unrelated to OCD, I just want to go off for a couple of sentences: I have no friends or any memories to look back on. Never been on a date or had someone who cared about me. I’m tired of being alone, it’s one of the reasons that I have so many mental health issues. I have always had no friends. Never been out or anything. I’m tired of this loneliness and I’m almost 20, I can’t make anymore friends because it’s not the same when you’re an adult. That’s all.

Username: Lin__

Date posted: 4y ago

I cut my “best friend” off of 11 years this week. I have given her chance after chance to get better and she continued to treat me like shit. So I feel free from that, however my other best friend of 11 years stopped being friends with both me and the toxic friend just because I was still friends with her. I’m 20 and go to a community college and it’s been very hard for me to make friends even before the pandemic. I haven’t had any other friends outside them since hs and my hs friends honestly weren’t great to me either (we distanced, all of us) and of course I’ve looked at myself and considered myself to be the problem and blamed myself but even my therapist doesn’t think that’s true... but anyways. I’m here. Lonely af. Officially no friends. And the sad thing is I don’t know when I will have any. It could be months or years from now and I’m so focused on school... I have no idea if I will ever be happy with someone (like a vest or close friend) or even be in a relationship. Anyways this is what I’m going through and I’m feeling very alone

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